Bad news: While you may be sorta safe from AIDS if you’re a straight guy, you aren’t safe from the HERPS. One out of four adults in New York has herpes. The genital kind. Now before you get all grossed-out, stop and think. It’s gotta suck having to deal with that for the rest of your life. Telling every person you sleep with, being all responsible about it, and the feeling of humiliation… not fun.

Good news: Now there’s a social network where you can meet other people with STDs! People who understand! People who don’t care! People who wear their dirty little secret with pride. STDmatch.net is your #1 site for STD support and dating!

Cumming soon: Amputee Dating Services.

Luanda, Angola — The 27-year-long Angola civil war has been over for six years but the number of civilian victims continues to rise. Tens of thousands have been injured or maimed by landmine explosions, leaving the population shattered and ravaged by a war whose fallout has yet to meet its half-life.

In an effort to restore dignity and confidence to its civilian population, the de-mining commission of Angola is hosting a Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant, with eight women, one from each province, each maimed by a landmine, competing and simultaneously becoming the public faces for their own cause. Its intent is to boost the self-esteem of landmine survivors, and to show the beauty in strength and determination, and truly, the “beauty in all people.” The pageant will be held on April 2nd in Luanda, Angola.

Following the pageant, the First International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action will be held on April 4th. For further information on the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, please right-click here.

Millions of un-detonated mines litter the southwestern African nation. While it costs roughly $5 to manufacture a landmine, it takes nearly $1,000 to safely dismantle one.

Voting for the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant is to be held online. You can VOTE for who you would like to see win. Me, I’m voting for Miss Cubango. Right now she’s in 2nd place. Check out her stats:

Miss Cuando Cubango
Generosa Cassinda

Age: 30
City: Menongue
Mine accident: 1989
Kids: 2 (10,8)
Occupation: Street vendor
Dream job: Economist
Favourite color: White

Clothes: American Apparel, € 36
Jewellery: Myffdesign, € 15
Location: Fortaleza São Miguel, Luanda

Mine: NO-4 anti-personnel
Release: pressure
Explosive: 188 g TNT
Produced by: Israel

Daaaamn….

This blog is nice and heartfelt. Here’s where I fuck things up.

I’m sorry, I know that it’s wrong to reference things like amputee porn in a blog about such a moving, good-hearted and humanitarian event like the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant. But really, there are few rewarding job opportunities for people missing their limbs, and life is tough as it is. I’m pretty sure that in America, you can’t even get a meatpacking job if you’ve lost your hand (unless you lost your hand at a prior meatpacking job, then I think they’ll “hook you up.” Ouch.). And let’s face it, these women are gorgeous and legless, and I am pretty sure there’s a market for that. Actually, I’ve seen the aisle at the ‘specialty video store,” I’m sure there’s a market for it. Oh please one-leggy lady, won’t you ampu-tease me.

Yes, I know you think I’m going to hell.