American Idol judge Paula Abdul made headlines last night after mistakenly criticizing a contestant for singing a song he didn’t actually perform. The hours since have seen Abdul bashed across the internet for this slight of tongue. Frankly, I don’t see what all the hubbub is about, as Abdul makes a fool of herself on each and every broadcast. She’s bat shit loopy and deliriously out of touch. Why should it be shocking that Abdul would imagine a performance that didn’t take place?

And is it plausible that American Idol might hang it up anytime soon? Does anyone else find the formula to be a little, dare I say, tired? Hey Simon, what’d you think of that performance?

“Dreadful. Absolutely ghastly.” Ha ha ha. Haven’t heard that one before. Randy, what’s your take?

“You just gotta be yourself dawg!” Genius. Thanks for the tip. Hey Paula, what’d you—actually, let’s pass. I guess at 30 gazillion viewers or so a week, the cash just keeps flowing in. Enough cash at least to pay Cowell’s cut of $20 mill. per season (fact).

But for Christs sake, has anybody seen Taylor Hicks around? Last time I checked he was spinning circles singing about a fucking Ford truck!

Looks like American idol hopeful David Hernandez has gotten himself into a bit of hot water. It turns out the 24-year-old star of terribly soul-less cover songs did a three-year stint as a nude dancer at Dick’s Cabaret in Phoenix, AZ. Dick’s Cabaret… Wonder what their clientèle mainly consists of…

So yeah, Hernandez used to wiggle his Johnson for dollar bills. No report yet on whether or not he gets kicked off the show. You know how America feels about what we teach our children. We would NEVER ALLOW OUR CHILDREN TO IDOLIZE STRIPPERS…

Xtina

Avril

Britney

Never. Though photos of him stripping have yet to surface, VFTW uncovered a few other ‘playful’ photos.

“Almost non-human.”