You could do some damage with these. Please please please don’t wear them anywhere else besides the beach, the pool, or inside your home. You may have an ass that looks this good, but my boyfriend doesn’t need to see it. Product reviews say to buy a size up. No doubt.

In a ceremony this afternoon, this year’s recipient of the prestigious LEAST MATCHED OUTFIT OF ALL TIME EVAR award was announced. The winner was none other than myself, Daniel Taylor. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank those who made this unexpected honor possible: American Needle for my HELLA SAACK throwback Expos cap, the rock band Health for their fabulous American Apparel…uh…apparel, Trucker for the baby blues, and the Urban Outfitters in Lawrence, KS for the clown shoes, $14 on double clearance!!111

Dov Charney is the founder of American Apparel and paving the way for american allure. Check this excerpt from JANE magazine:

Dov Charney, the 35-year-old senior partner and founder of American Apparel, and one of his female employees, who happened to be in town. I asked him how he relaxed.

Oral sex, he says, settling into a chair behind a cloud of smoke. “I love it…I am a bit of a dirty guy, but people like that right now.”

Explaining exactly how the rest of the night unraveled is somewhat difficult. Let’s just say, the female employee helped him “put on a show” for me. I watched, trying to be objective, detached-sorta like a…war reporter?

and

Masturbation in front of women is underrated,” Dov explains to me later over the phone. “It’s much easier on the woman. She gets to watch, it’s a sensual experience that doesn’t involve a man violating a woman, yet once the man has his release, it’s over and you can talk to the guy.” And, Iris adds on another day, “I think it’s really healthy to have an orgasm four times a day. It’s got to be great for business.