Yes we fucking can!

Hulk Hogan has had better years to be sure. Even after his comeback as host of American Gladiators, and his reality TV show, Hogan couldn’t seem to fight the frothing lusts of the paparazzi, as information has come to light of a purported Hogan affair. Son Nick Hogan was recently picked up for reckless driving, and the whole goddamn thing is too much for Brooke Hogan, who has apparently gone over the edge and is in the throes of a mental breakdown.

Maybe the gods are trying to tell you something, Hulk: You should have quit while you were ahead. You should have retired after you bodyslammed Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III, or after you bodyslammed Earthquake in the mid-’90s. Or at least after your cameo in Rocky III (because Suburban Commando sucked). Don’t slander your image anymore than you already have; there’s still an army of aging Hulkamaniacs ready to stay in school and eat their vitamins. I promise, it’s not too late…

Barbara Walters upcoming appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show will center around a recent admission of her affair with then-married Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke.

The affair happened over 30 years ago, and lasted for a few years during the ’70s. Brooke was the first African-American to be elected to the Senate by popular vote, and at the time, Walters was still co-hosting NBC’s Today show.

I was going to make some ill-advised Jungle Fever reference, but, well, you’re all smarter than that (I hope). Needless, to say, I’m repulsed that anyone, ever, would have wanted to engage in sexual congress with Barbara Walters.

Roger Clemens’ reputation spirals further down the rabbit hole with his latest alleged affair surfacing. This time it’s the ex-wife of golfer John Daly, Paulette Dean Daly. But who cares about Clemens this time around; let’s talk some John Daly!

In the ongoing saga that has become Roger Clemens vs former trainer Brian McNamee, “new shit has come to light.” Clemens, who on January 6th filed a defamation suit against McNamee, is now surrounded by speculation of a decade long affair with country music artist Mindy McCready. According to McNamee’s attorney:

“When you sue for defamation, you put your whole reputation in the community at issue. Anything is fair game, including his claim of sanctimonious purity.”

Clemens will hold that McCready has been nothing more than “a close family friend.” Either way, this situation cannot play out to anything better than a game of he said/she said. The circus that surrounds Clemens seems to gain more and more dancing bears as the months pass, and you can flat forget any notion of Clemens ever going to baseball’s Hall Of Fame.

The only sensible action at this point would be for Clemens to drop the defamation case. Without such an action, Clemens’ family is going to be unfairly and mercilessly tortured by a sex hungry media.