Today we got hit up about a new show airing on [adult swim] called Fat Guy Stuck In Internet. Not “The Internet,” or “teh Internet,” just “Internet.” From the following description it sounds JUST like Tron. Only no sweet neon Frisbees or speeder bikes.

When hot-shot programmer Ken Gemberling is accidentally sucked into the Internet, he finds himself on a quest of epic proportions. With the evil bounty hunter, Chains, hot on his heels, Gemberling must struggle to unravel the mysteries of this strange, new land and, indeed, his own destiny. Is he the new messiah or just another fat guy stuck in Internet?

Peek your curiosity a bit? Nah, me either. But maybe this clip will:

The show premiers this Sunday, June 15th at 12:15 AM (so Saturday night for you people who live their lives in real, actual time).

As announced last Friday, the world’s most irresponsibly deadly animated metal band, Dethklok, will be hitting the road starting June 2nd to annihilate the masses in real time. This is of course exciting in and of itself. But in addition, the barbaric five piece has been busy sharpening their guitar headstocks and Flying V tail fins for decapitations/impalings on the continuation of their second season on [adult swim], which will premier Sunday, May 18th at the only time imaginable (midnight). This follows up a wildly successful start:

In fall 2007, a real-life version of Dethklok, led by co-creator Brendon Small, embarked on a national tour, playing at college campuses around the United States. The college tour heralded the release of the hugely successful album The Dethalbum. The album features songs written and performed by Small from the first season of Metalocalypse, and it debuted at #21 on the Billboard Top 200 as the highest-charting death metal album of all time. Dethklok will embark on its second nationwide tour this summer when Adult Swim Presents Metalocalype’s Dethklok kicks-off on June 2 and travels to 28 cities.

Let me preclude this blog by stating explicitly that I watch way too much television. I know that it is detrimental to my general level of intelligence, but I just can’t help myself. So, the very much arbitrary (hence the title) notion struck me to give some suggestions as to what you may want to catch this season on the good ol’ boob tube. My proposed daily itinerary is as follows:

Mon: 11:30PM the Boondocks: This show dabbles in Manga-style animation and has the likes of John Witherspoon, Samuel L. Jackson, Charlie Murphy, and Regina King lending their comedic and vocal talent. It’s like “Word, ya know whatt’a mean?”

Tues: This day can be completely free from television. Go out and kick around some leaves or something.

Wed: South Park at 10:00PM. I feel secure that you all know what South Park is about. What kind of person couldn’t find at least some enjoyment in the “Imagination Land” trilogy?

Thurs: Thursday is a fine day for vegging in front of the blessed television screen. The Office airs at 9Pm on NBC, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia airs at 10PM on FX. Watch them both, and, trust me, you will be entertained.

Fri: What? You would actually watch T.V. on a Friday night? What a loser you are. Just kidding, having a life is overrated. I guess you could watch Deal or No Deal on NBC, if you have a thing for Bob Saget, or are for some other reason so inclined.

Sat: What else but NBC’s Saturday Night Live? See, it’s completely legit to stay in Saturday night, it is in no way comparable to staying in on a Friday.

Sun: At least a fraction of your “day of rest” could befittingly include watching a cartoon or two (or three, or four, or five). Although there is often some variation regarding show times, (and interference from those pesky athletic events), you can usually catch a chain of animated hilarity starting at 7:30PM on FOX that includes episodes of King of the Hill, the Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. The entertainment doesn’t cease there. Metalocalypse, Robot Chicken, and Lucy the Daughter of the Devil also air on Sunday night, starting at 11:30PM.

*It should also be noted that Late Night with Conan O’Brien is an excellent show that can be caught Monday through Friday on NBC at 12:37PM.

So, there you have it. Mind-numbingly awesome entertainment just waiting for you to take advantage. Life is good, no?

Remember a few years ago when Gorillaz embarked on that tour where they couldn’t show their faces because that would ruin their whole image-is-bullshit aesthetic? They pulled a giant, partially translucent screen across the stage and played behind it, while their cartoon counterparts galloped and mean-mugged and did whatever else their 2-D selves could. It turned out to be an interesting experiment with regard to what lengths concert-goers would reach to “see” live music.


Well, now we have Dethklok, who by all accounts could virtua-chop the heads off of every member of Gorillaz without breaking a blast beat. The biggest animated metal band of all time (Metalocalypse airs on Sundays on Adult Swim at 11:45 PM PST) will be co-headlining a tour of American universities with …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, beginning October 29th in New Mexico, and ending November 18th in Chicago. Trail of Dead kind of gets on some fantasy shit anyway, given the right breeze, so it’s shaping up to be a good match-up. I’m growing a handlebar mustache in anticipation…