Iraq veteran PFC Joseph Dwyer, famed in a patriotic wave in 2003 for the above picture in which he is rescuing an Iraqi child at Mt. Sinai, was found dead at his North Carolina home after apparent abuse of a computer aerosol.

Dwyer returned home from the war in 2006, already suffering from post-traumatic stress. He was unable to hold a job, clung to his firearms and fell into deep depression. He was treated at VAs but nothing helped. Dwyer’s recent death at age 31 will stand as an ironic tragedy.

Breath easy internet, I have returned to my blogging post. Over the last week and a half I’ve been journeying up the Pacific Coast with Bear Hunter . As it turns out, when I try and write on my laptop while in the van I start to puke all over my band mates — hence, my absence from Synthesis Blog. Over the next few days I will be recounting my harrowing journey (in between fascinating posts about pop stars getting busted for drugs, children with weird growths on their bodies and general paranoid-paranormal fodder). Get ready, dear readers. Get your asses ready.

Sit down Waldo, tonight’s Van Halen Concert at John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville, VA has been postponed. According to the Richmond Times Dispatch the band’s equipment trucks had already arrived at the venue, suggesting a last-minute catastrophe. Normally we would speculate cocaine/herion overdose, but the boys are getting up there in age; perhaps heart attack or stroke? Maybe Eddie Van Halen’s hair is suffering from exhaustion. Either way, countless Budweiser-fueled tailgate parties will be postponed until an undetermined later date. Same goes for Monday’s concert in Duluth, GA.

John Paul Jones could not be reached for comment. But I still think his production on Butthole Surfers’ Independent Worm Saloon was totally badass.

Whatever, you still can’t front on the drum intro to “Hot For Teacher.”

In other news, I haven’t seen how Eddie Van Halen looks in a bit. Let’s check in:

Eghad! Keith Richards he isn’t. I guess decades of rock doesn’t suit everybody well. Wicked Witch of the West over here.