Last week I detailed my experience getting run out of Starbucks like a filthy vagrant despite my dedicated years of patronage. I got a response from the corporate office that said they had forwarded my e-mail to the district manager, who would be contacting me soon. Today I received said dispatch:

Daniel~
My name is Cheryl and I am the district manager for Starbucks Coffee Company in the Chico, Red Bluff and Susanville area. I am sorry not to have responded sooner, but did not get your email forwarded to me until my day off. I am currently looking into this and will be addressing it ASAP! Something that concerns me is that for an extended period your drink has been given a derogatory name, I’m ok with that if you call it that but not our partners, it is essentially a no water Iced Americano, which is a menu item just as a triple iced espresso is! I am very sorry for your experience and hope to be able to make it right for you, not only for your last experience but the continued experience! Please feel free to contact me and thank you so much for bringing this to our attention!

AH, VINDICATION! Even better was the fact that in the interim, I had already pinned a far lulzier version of my original e-mail for publication in the weekly edition of the Synthesis, which hit the streets this morning. It is reproduced below for your edification. More updates are sure to follow!!11 Stay tuned…

Read the rest of this entry »

Ah the irony! On the same day that their new earning report showed a 21% drop in quarterly earnings, widely attributed to a drop-off in customers, the Downtown Chico Starbucks, which I’ve been fiercely loyal to for the last five years, if not longer, lost me as a twice-daily customer on account of some stupid ass shit. For your edification, I’ll reproduce here the letter I wrote to Starbucks customer service department:

I’ve been going to the Starbucks in Downtown Chico every day, some times, two or three times a day, for the last five years, if not longer. It truly had become, to borrow the Starbucks parlance, my “third place”. For about the last year I’ve been ordering the exact same drink, every single time: three shots on ice in a venti cup. The baristas usually joke about it being a “ghetto latte” since it is cheaper than getting an iced latte but essentially the same thing once you put some cream in it. However, with all the signage in place saying things like “your drink should be perfect” etc, I really didn’t think it was a big deal. Today however, the manager of the store (who has served me the drink in question dozens of times) informed me that I was “stealing” from Starbucks by putting milk in my drink and made it clear that me and my business were no longer wanted, or needed, all in front of the numerous people waiting in line behind me This is unfortunate in many ways, not the least of which is the fact that, in my job as a writer for local, regional and national print and online publications, I have always made it a habit to talk about how much I love Starbucks, despite the hipness currently associated with corporate bashing. I have defended Starbucks in the face of criticism more times than I can count, but now I wish that I had chosen otherwise. If you want to bill me for all the milk I’ve “stolen” over the last 5 years of patronage my address is above.

Fuck it. Peets is better anyway.

OMG DROP what you’re doing and head on over to…..hahaha, sorry, I can’t do it. I support our locally-owned coffee shops on a daily (sometimes twice-daily) basis. I realize that this doesn’t make me better than anyone who frequents Starbucks, a company who apparently has a conscience and mixes in good with the bad (I hear their employees get great benefits, and with record stores dying I’m glad there are still places to buy a limited selection the next of overly-hyped artist-of-the-minute). I just like supporting my own local tax structure. So therefore, it’s really hard for me to say it. So I’ll just let the Starbucks Home page say it for me:

“On April 8, 2008, Starbucks is introducing Pike Place Roast with coast-to-coast tasting events…”

From Palm Beach post:

The event is more than just free coffee — it’s a coffee tasting, according to Starbucks. Customers will be instructed to smell, then slurp (”by slurping,” the guide for store managers says, “you aerate the coffee by spraying it across your palate, which enables the subtle flavors to reach your nose”), taste, then describe. Describing is like “poetry” and involves aroma, acidity, body and flavor, the guide says.

The event is the latest in the company’s attempt to connect with customers, become less corporate and be more about the coffee.

So on my way to the Naked Lounge or The Upper Crust or Has Beans, I will still stop by the Starbucks and pick up a free 8 oz cup of their new Pike Place Roast, because to not get free coffee is MORE of a crime.

According to the Take part blog, you can also go into Starbucks and request (and then buy) a cup of Fair Trade coffee instead. YEAH, that’s right, stick it to the man…

I say just bring your own jar.

I’m going to be perfectly honest here, I haven’t showered in five days, and I stink. I’m usually pretty clean, but there have been a lack of showers so far on this tour. Even if there were a shower somewhere I probably wouldn’t have time to use it. Usually it’s hurry up and wait, but lately it’s been hurry up and hurry some more. I’ve been damn busy now that my workload has doubled, but I’m not complaining, I’m just adjusting. This tour is a different kind of situation. We have an entirely different crew than the last time around, so my time is spent teaching the new guys the routine of everything and trying to remember some things myself. We also have a bus full of people, 13 to be exact, and that is a slightly difficult thing to get used to all in itself. Tonight is the third night of tour, and as of yet, the coldest. It’s around 20 degrees and snowing like crazy here at the infamous Metro in Chicago. I really didn’t get to see much of Nashville or Columbus due to me being busy and tired, and the same will most likely happen again tonight. On top of the previously mentioned excuses, we’re in a slightly ghetto area, about a block away from Wrigley Field, and the only exciting places I’ve seen all day are a Starbucks and a hot dog stand, maybe I’ll get lucky and Steve Albini will come by and want to get a drink and hang out.

Newport Music Hall wall of fame

soundcheck

Meet and greet behind the scenes

Apparently Quentin Tarantino doesn’t like being in front of the camera nearly as much as he does being behind it. The footage is from this year’s Sundance Film Festival, which somehow came and went last week without me even knowing it. Guess nothing really exciting happened. Bunch of stupid ass movies I’ll never watch showing for a bunch of people way richer than me, in a town that somehow manages to be cool despite being just up the road from one of the most vanillafied bastions of backwards religious fundamentalism this side of the Mississippi, Salt Lake City, Utah. Maybe, next year.

Good old American Ass Piss is definitely a family favorite. And unlike other varieties of bowel movement, its quick and relatively easy to make! Here’s my secret recipe: 

 10+ Cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon (to taste)

1 Pacakge Smart Ground Meatless Vegetable Protein

 One Large Frozen Yogurt (aka FROYO)

Mix and allow to marinate for at least 8 hours of Deep Sleep
 
Cover with multiple cups of Starbucks Coffee and serve in proper dish

ENJOY!!!!!111