My ‘Going to Hell’ list has been building up over these last few years, and it’s starting to get as thick as War and Peace.  Out of the 7 deadly sins, I’ve conquered just about all of them while simultaneously inventing 2 others. According to the Catholic church, on election day I added another notch to the metaphorical sin belt.

Yea, you guessed it. Fr. Jay Scott Newman of Greenville, SC, has called out to those who voted for President-Elect Obama, asking that they repent before continuing with their religious services. Torn on the issue of pro-life, Newman is basing his judgment on the fact that the Dem. ticket featured pro-choice candidates.

I can understand the whole belief in pro-life, that’s not what’s up at stake here. Right now, we are seeing a religious figure try to tell his audience that, in a traditional (read: corrupt) bi-partisanship system, there is only one proper candidate to chose from. Censorship, anyone? The wake of the statements have come around full circle, causing members of the church to clash on the issue. The ripple effect is now causing more public backlash, as we’ll probably see a story on Faux News later about how Newman is, in fact, Jesus II.

Newman apparently hasn’t considered the fact that pro-life includes tougher gun laws and the banning of the death penalty… something most people overlook. Check the clip, then riot in the streets.

Breath easy internet, I have returned to my blogging post. Over the last week and a half I’ve been journeying up the Pacific Coast with Bear Hunter . As it turns out, when I try and write on my laptop while in the van I start to puke all over my band mates — hence, my absence from Synthesis Blog. Over the next few days I will be recounting my harrowing journey (in between fascinating posts about pop stars getting busted for drugs, children with weird growths on their bodies and general paranoid-paranormal fodder). Get ready, dear readers. Get your asses ready.

When Allena Ward admitted to sexual misconduct with minors last September, I never thought the former Laurens County, South Carolina, middle school teacher would actually get 6 years in the big house. She took the adult out of adultery by meeting three 14 year old and two 15 year old students at restaurants, motels and school to do various deeds.

Although Solicitor Jerry Peace from the Eighth Circuit court believes Ward will serve 85 percent of the six-year term, she’ll probably be out in a year and a half; after all she’s the daughter of a minister, married, and holds the respected position as a middle school teacher at Bell Street Middle School in Clinton, SC….whoops, done got fir’d (source).

What I don’t get is, if she was in an unhappy marriage and needed a little “extra-curricular studies,” right, was she just too lazy to embark in the time-honored tradition of adulthood adultery? To cuckold is one thing, but how good of a time are you going to have with a 14-year-old? Her “victims” apparently thought the same thing.

From WLTX:

“The court also heard written statements from her victims. They describe confusion on their part about why she wanted sex from them. Police began investigating Ward after a note containing inappropriate messages was given to school officials on February 22. According to investigators, the note was passed during class to one of the boys, then thrown in the trash.”

Check out her hand-written journal entries after the jump - it’s on some real Live Journal Epic status. (more…)