…and my mom sent this to me. Bringing back memories of “I’m Fucking Matt Damon.” Enjoy!

I’ll just leave this here for you to read over…

Governor Palin has made a big splash onto the national stage, however her state investigation here in Alaska continues.

Back in late July the legislative council approved $100,000 to investigate Governor Palin’s potential abuse of power. Since, special investigator Steve Branchflower has been working methodically to bring to light the facts of a case that have only recently surfaced.

“The status of the investigation is that Steve Branchflower is taking statements right now from former members of the administration, and scheduling other appointments with other members of the administration, up to, and including Governor Palin to find out the facts of what happened,” said Senator Hollis French, who is in charge of the legislativeinvestigation of Palin.

Branchflower is looking into the events that led up to the firing of former public safety commissioner Walt Monegan. It is alleged that Monegan may have been fired for refusing to fire Alaska State Trooper Michael Wooten, who went through a messy divorce with Palin’s sister and is currently in the midst of a custody battle.

Regardless of Palin’s status as the vice presidential nominee, many are calling for the investigation’s continuance, “There is too much information to just erase it as a mistake,” said Senator Lyda Green, a Republican from Wasilla, “It needs to be followed through very diligently, very carefully.”

Although on the really cool side of things, we could be witnessing the first canidate to have to give her V.P. debates from a prison cell… that could be fun!

Meanwhile, where can I get these sw33t buttons?

McCain looks happy, doesn’t he?  Kinda looks like he needs to poop…

I couldn’t have foreseen this in a million years. America’s pride and joy, the store that stocks both anti-depressants and shot gun shells, is leaning towards the right wing.

Wal-Mart has recently warned that if the Dems do win the presidential nomination, there’s a likelihood that it will be easier for workers to unionize larger companies. The superstore has always been known for it’s slave fair labor practices, and doesn’t see the need for it’s workers to form labor unions. Besides, who needs medical insurance and workman’s comp anyways?

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is mobilizing its store managers and department supervisors around the country to warn that if Democrats win power in November, they’ll likely change federal law to make it easier for workers to unionize companies — including Wal-Mart.

In recent weeks, thousands of Wal-Mart store managers and department heads have been summoned to mandatory meetings at which the retailer stresses the downside for workers if stores were to be unionized.

According to about a dozen Wal-Mart employees who attended such meetings in seven states, Wal-Mart executives claim that employees at unionized stores would have to pay hefty union dues while getting nothing in return, and may have to go on strike without compensation. Also, unionization could mean fewer jobs as labor costs rise.

The actions by Wal-Mart — the nation’s largest private employer — reflect a growing concern among big business that a reinvigorated labor movement could reverse years of declining union membership. That could lead to higher payroll and health costs for companies already being hurt by rising fuel and commodities costs and the tough economic climate.

The Wal-Mart human-resources managers who run the meetings don’t specifically tell attendees how to vote in November’s election, but make it clear that voting for Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Barack Obama would be tantamount to inviting unions in, according to Wal-Mart employees who attended gatherings in Maryland, Missouri and other states.

“The meeting leader said, ‘I am not telling you how to vote, but if the Democrats win, this bill will pass and you won’t have a vote on whether you want a union,’” said a Wal-Mart customer-service supervisor from Missouri. “I am not a stupid person. They were telling me how to vote,” she said.

America’s biggest employer, and the working conditions are pretty much intolerable… but hey, where else can you go and get XXL pants, camouflage night vision goggles and McDonalds at 3 in the morning?  SCORE!

Republican Senator David Vitter joined the “I banged a prostitute” club, which is gaining membership like crazy. After standing next to his pissed off wife with his tail between his legs Vitter tried to get the hell out of the press conference. But this doesn’t really work out for him. I think he was more concerned about the hooker in the trunk of the car than backing up.

Hills star / spawn of Satan / Hollywood star Heidi Montag told Us Weekly “I’m voting for John McCain, I’m a Republican and McCain has a lot of experience.” Montag then minimized her endorsement and refered to herself in the third person saying “I don’t think anyone cares who Heidi Montag votes for.”

In what might possibily be scarer news John McCain admits to Time magazine that he watches The Hills: “I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of ‘The Hills,’ especially since the new season started”. He also added “she’s a very talented actress” which defies all logic and makes me start to think that the early stages of senility have kicked in.

Hopefully no one will tell her that you actually have to register to vote before you can actually vote.

Shocker.
Even though countless people have begged him to stay out Ralph Nader said he’s running for President as a third party candidate. 73 year old Nader is running under the idea to “shift the power from the few to the many.” Sounds great on paper right?

Mike Huckabee enjoyed reminding CNN that Nader’s past runs have shown that he pulls votes from the Democrat and said “So naturally, Republicans would welcome his entry into the race.” Thanks for the reminder Mike…

Nader added “If the Democrats can’t landslide the Republicans this year, they ought to just wrap up, close down, emerge in a different form.” Kind of a good point if you think about it.

For the record most of us here at Synthesis are pulling for Obama.