The Ultimate Warrior really missed his calling. I mean, he was a bad ass wrestler and all, but I think he would have brought the field of slam poetry to new heights…

I mean, I made a brief compilation of wiki quotes attributed to one Mr. Warrior that would RULE over all the current slam shit:

Normal people, the people that walk the streets every day, we cannot understand!
How must I prepare you must ask yourself.
Should I jump off the tallest building in the world?
Should I lay on the lawn and let it run over me with lawnmowers?
Should I go to Africa and let it trample me with raging elephants?
Dig your claws into my organs! Stretch into my tendons! Bury your angers into my bones!
This freak of nature right here is just beginning to swell.
And when I get big enough, brother, there ain’t gonna be room for anybody else but me and all the Warriors floating through the veins, and the power of the Warriah~

Ah Ultimate Warrior, thanks for the inspiration and perpetual perspiration:

Roids man….roids. DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYES!!!!!!!!

Who knew the Hulk was such a talented triple threat?

And he even knows his days of the week! Now if he can just nail those ABC’s.