[The following was written by Synthesis Weekly columnist Emilie Clark. She can be reached at emilie@synthesis.net.]

Coming Soon

It’s a well-known fact that people like to adapt movies from books. It’s also a well-known fact that most of these efforts suck. So it’s my job to warn you about upcoming adaptations so you have ample time to read the book. This gives you the chance to complain about inconsistencies and general “suckiness” while still in the theater, making you look learned and therefore more attractive. You can thank me later.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, July 4th: This is a documentary, so I guess it won’t really do to get mad about liberties taken with the adaptation. But it can’t hurt to read some of the famous Gonzo’s work if only for your own amusement. From the description it seems like the filmmakers are big fans, which can be bad in a documentary if you’re trying to eek out truth. The gist I get is that the point the film makes is that Thompson did what journalists are too afraid to do nowadays, namely get high and write caustic things about politicians. This may be true, but I easily tire of ‘60s and ‘70s nostalgia. Sure people were a bit crazier back then and I’m sure there are things to be learned from that era, but it’s over, so deal.

Journey To the Center of the Earth 3D, July 11th: Based on the classic Jules Verne novel about a rogue scientist who travels to, you guessed it, the center of the earth. According to Wikipedia, this novel didn’t age as well as some of Verne’s other works, because he was mostly wrong about what is contained in the center of the earth. However, none of that really matters because this movie is in 3D. And I will watch anything in 3D, even if it stars Brendan Fraser.

more upcoming adaptations after the jump.
(more…)

After suffering a “mild” heart attack, American actor Kelsey Grammer is recovering in an undisclosed hospital in Hawaii. Grammer, most beloved for his recurring role as Sideshow Bob in The Simpsons television show (and, you know, that whole Cheers and Frasier thing that never really took off…), aged 53, owns property on the island of Kona with his wife Camille. According to AP, Grammer’s spokesman says the television and film star suffered a mild heart attack while paddle boarding on Saturday and will be released early this week, adding “there’s no reason to be blue.”

sorry. I have no idea what’s wrong with me.

Admittedly, when I first saw the words “Speedo LZR,” I thought it was an abbreviation for “speedo loser.” As it turns out, in the world of competitive swimming, this space-aged suit is the polar opposite. (And yes, I just used the term “space age” without a hint of irony. Boner).

According to the Science of Sport blog, on its first professional outing, the swimmer with the Speedo LZR broke the world record…by two entire body lengths. Then the Women’s Dutch 4 x 200m relay team, equipped with the Speedo LZR, beat the world record (set 6 years back by China) by 8 seconds. I don’t know jack about professional competitive swimming, but even I know that’s kind of a big deal.

This brings to mind the whole juicing in sports argument: these people train every day for their profession; to be the best athlete, using all the technology available to get every ounce of power…so why not use drugs to further this concept? The problem is that unless everyone is doing the same drugs and has access to the same equipment and training, the competition would be unfair. Plus, you can’t make athletes who are ethically opposed to juicing use the stuff. We’re not living in a Brave new World just yet.

So in the case of the Speedo LZR, it might give the athlete an unfair technological advantage….unless every athlete was using them.

But on the other side of the coin, maybe to make it REALLY fair, they all should just swim naked, original Roman-Greko Olympics style. That would sure make the Women’s backstroke more interesting for me.

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