So there’s this bum hangout right around the corner from the Synthesis office. It’s like this shelter for young adults who want to sit around all day smoking cigarettes and hanging on the couch in the air conditioning with their pit bull mix instead of, well, anything else. Today on my way to get coffee, Dain and I walked by this young derelict who asks, almost as an afterthought, if he could bum a cigarette. It might have been a cold move, but this was my response:

I think singing one bar of the The Silhouettes’ “Get a Job” got my point across.

Being a dick is awesome.

Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…

Had to take down Atmosphere’s When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold lyrics… “shoulda known” better, I s’pose. But here’s something I can replace it with: the “Shoulda Known” video, a teaser single from the album due out April 22nd. Pre-order it here.

i <3 sean and my bf’s jealous.

I was going to write something super special for this blog and for Slug, my one true love, but he never writes me sweet nothings like Shala does, so screw it. Here’s what Pitchforkmedia.com says:

Listening to Atmosphere’s recent free “party” LP Strictly Leakage (available here), you can tell that it was only a taste of things to come. And indeed, on April 22, Rhymesayers Entertainment will issue When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold, the Minneapolis duo’s “proper” full-length follow-up to 2005’s You Can’t Imagine How Much Fun We’re Having. (Read More)

BOOOOYAAAAAAAA

Atmosphere is just givin’ it away! Ant & Slug bring you Strictly Leakage, 13 tracks which you can download here:

rhymesayers.com (right click and save as)

or here:

zshare.net

Here’s what my man Slug says (I love you, Sean):

as a way to thank all of our supporters, ant and i have put together this party favor.

it’s called “strictly leakage.” thirteen songs to chase away the winter doldrums.
free and downloadable at either of these links:

Rhymesayers.com (Right Click and Save as…)
zshare.net (Mirror)

it’s great for first dates, crappy houseparties, or to play in the backround while you google yourself again.

is downloadable a word?
what’s a doldrum?

nonetheless, thank you for the love, and please have a happy safe holiday.

oh yeah, i almost forgot,
“sad clown bad winter 11″ is available now, and a new album from atmosphere, “when life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold” will be available on april 22 2008.
-slug