Three quarters of a century ago America was in a state of turmoil and disarray. The Great Depression hit about five years previous, and times were tough. Though the Stock Market began to improve in early 1930, Americans were still reluctant to incur debt and declined spending coupled with the Dust Bowl drama in the south kept unemployment at an all time low. As if that weren’t enough to make a man crazy, our belt-tightening ancestors also had to deal with prohibition. I can’t imagine much worse than losing all your worldly possessions, failing to provide for your family, and having to cope with all that sober. No beer to take the edge off of stark destitution and that’s just tragic. But on April 7th of 1933 some relief finally came. (more…)

British paper The Independent has finally said what a lot of people are thinking, that America is facing it’s biggest financial crisis since the Great Depression. I guess if you have to choose between the rest of the world hating us, and the rest of the world feeling sorry for us, the latter might be a little better. Just a little though:

We knew things were bad on Wall Street, but on Main Street it may be worse. Startling official statistics show that as a new economic recession stalks the United States, a record number of Americans will shortly be depending on food stamps just to feed themselves and their families.

Dismal projections by the Congressional Budget Office in Washington suggest that in the fiscal year starting in October, 28 million people in the US will be using government food stamps to buy essential groceries, the highest level since the food assistance programme was introduced in the 1960s.

All I have to say about that is: where can I sign up for some of that food stamp action? That shit isn’t even that bad now that they give you debit cards.

In 2006, AT&T promised to return 5000 of the jobs it had outsourced to India back to America. However, according to CEO Randall Stephenson, America’s increasing stupidity is making it hard to fulfill that promise:

“We’re having trouble finding the numbers that we need with the skills that are required to do these jobs,” AT&T Chief Executive Randall Stephenson told a business group in San Antonio, where the company’s headquarters is located.

So far, only around 1,400 jobs have been returned to the United States of 5,000, a target it set in 2006, the company said, adding that it maintains the target.

Stephenson said he is especially distressed that in some U.S. communities and among certain groups, the high school dropout rate is as high as 50 percent.

By “certain groups,” he of course means black people, American Indians and Hispanics.

Not surprisingly, this graph could basically be flipped upside down, and retitled, Imprisonment Percentages and be pretty damn spot on. It would be funny if it weren’t sad. But hey, at least our housing market is doing AWESOME!

While I deeply miss everyone that is currently busy shredding up the music industry in Austin, some of us had to stay here in Chico to report about real news. Now, lets get to the hard core media coverage, shall we?

Karen Lee Cooper, a 49 year old Aussie chick, brutally stabbed her boyfriend during a fight about the Boss. Reports are showing that the controlling boyfriend was limiting her music choices, and apparently when she banned Springsteen, the jig was up. Cooper grabbed a knife out of the kitchen, went into the living room and repeatedly stabbed the man. In another wise decision, she then took a bunch of pills, called the cops and told them she’ll be dead before they get there. Sounds like a good Tuesday night in these parts. From CNN:

An Australian woman pleaded guilty Thursday to fatally stabbing her boyfriend because he objected to her listening to Bruce Springsteen’s music.

The national news agency, Australian Associated Press, reported that the Supreme Court in the city of Brisbane sentenced Karen Lee Cooper to eight years in prison.

Cooper told arresting officers she “just got tired” of her boyfriend, Kevin Watson, bossing her around during their two-year relationship.

“I couldn’t even play Bruce Springsteen on my stereo. Can you believe that? Can you believe that?” Cooper told police, according to the Courier Mail newspaper.

Later, in a formal police interview, she repeated her claims: “I mean, who doesn’t like Bruce Springsteen? I am 49 years old and I want to play my own music.”

The couple had been drinking at their rental home the night of the stabbing two years ago when they began arguing over Cooper’s choice of music, the Australian Associated Press said.

Cooper’s lawyer told the court she experienced a “brain snap.” She ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and stabbed Watson, 49, after he said he didn’t want her to listen to a Springsteen CD, the newspaper said.

Cooper took a handful of pills before calling police. She told officers she hoped the pills would kill her before they arrived.

According to the press reports, Cooper regretted the stabbing and did not think her boyfriend deserved to die.

I’m pushing for a new law that legalizes the brute killing of anyone that censors Bruce… who’s with me?

Keep locked in for more coverage of SxSw and Aussie stabbings over classic American songwriters.

New York City Mayor, and self proclaimed “not a candidate” for President came out swinging against the recently passed economic stimulus legislation today, saying that the $600-$12oo rebate checks to be paid to American taxpayers as part of the stimulus is “like giving a drink to an alcoholic”

“Nobody wants to sit there and say, ‘Well there’s no easy solution,”‘ Bloomberg said. “They want to send out a check to everybody to stimulate the economy. I suppose it won’t hurt the economy but it’s in many senses like giving a drink to an alcoholic.”

He also noted that the US “has a balance sheet that’s starting to look more and more like a third-world country” but added that his comments were just part of an “experiment” in trying to shape the debate for this year’s election. Experiment eh?

Today, October 9th, is John Lennon’s birthday. The former Beatle turned 67 years old today, and despite having not released an album of new material in over 27 years, remains a relevant rock icon today.
(I hold the unpopular position that John Lennon faked his murder in 1980 and lives on a private, uncharted island with Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, Andy Kaufman and my schnauzer, Bentley. They are all very happy there and my mom says I can visit them some day.)

This morning I caught Terry Gross‘ interview with Steven Colbert on NPR. They were discussing his new book entitled I Am America (And So Can You!), which might be the most awesomely titled piece of literature since War and Peace. The reason I bring this up is because I’m reminded of one of Colbert’s bits he had during his tenure on The Daily Show with John Stewart. This was a long time ago so I’ll have to paraphrase, but it went something along the lines of this:

“And now for some news that will be depressing for bong-clutching college graduates: By the time they were 30, the Beatles had already broken up.”

(I totally stole that last picture from The Onion.)