9/11 Conspiracy Theories ‘Ridiculous,’ Al Qaeda Says

“America’s Finest News Source” certainly lives up to its name. If you have more time to kill, you should check out their world atlas “Our Big Dumb World” if you haven’t already. It’s scathing satire on just about every country in the world. This week’s featured country is Kenya, which is described as a “natural breeding ground for the world’s top long-distance runners, who learn at a very early age the art of running as far away as they possibly can from Kenya.”

Luanda, Angola — The 27-year-long Angola civil war has been over for six years but the number of civilian victims continues to rise. Tens of thousands have been injured or maimed by landmine explosions, leaving the population shattered and ravaged by a war whose fallout has yet to meet its half-life.

In an effort to restore dignity and confidence to its civilian population, the de-mining commission of Angola is hosting a Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant, with eight women, one from each province, each maimed by a landmine, competing and simultaneously becoming the public faces for their own cause. Its intent is to boost the self-esteem of landmine survivors, and to show the beauty in strength and determination, and truly, the “beauty in all people.” The pageant will be held on April 2nd in Luanda, Angola.

Following the pageant, the First International Day for Mine Awareness and Assistance in Mine Action will be held on April 4th. For further information on the International Campaign to Ban Landmines, please right-click here.

Millions of un-detonated mines litter the southwestern African nation. While it costs roughly $5 to manufacture a landmine, it takes nearly $1,000 to safely dismantle one.

Voting for the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant is to be held online. You can VOTE for who you would like to see win. Me, I’m voting for Miss Cubango. Right now she’s in 2nd place. Check out her stats:

Miss Cuando Cubango
Generosa Cassinda

Age: 30
City: Menongue
Mine accident: 1989
Kids: 2 (10,8)
Occupation: Street vendor
Dream job: Economist
Favourite color: White

Clothes: American Apparel, € 36
Jewellery: Myffdesign, € 15
Location: Fortaleza São Miguel, Luanda

Mine: NO-4 anti-personnel
Release: pressure
Explosive: 188 g TNT
Produced by: Israel

Daaaamn….

This blog is nice and heartfelt. Here’s where I fuck things up.

I’m sorry, I know that it’s wrong to reference things like amputee porn in a blog about such a moving, good-hearted and humanitarian event like the Miss Landmine Survivor Pageant. But really, there are few rewarding job opportunities for people missing their limbs, and life is tough as it is. I’m pretty sure that in America, you can’t even get a meatpacking job if you’ve lost your hand (unless you lost your hand at a prior meatpacking job, then I think they’ll “hook you up.” Ouch.). And let’s face it, these women are gorgeous and legless, and I am pretty sure there’s a market for that. Actually, I’ve seen the aisle at the ‘specialty video store,” I’m sure there’s a market for it. Oh please one-leggy lady, won’t you ampu-tease me.

Yes, I know you think I’m going to hell.

Bob Geldof, musician, actor and Live 8 event organizer, recently met with George W. Bush who has been meeting with rock stars who wear their hearts on their sleeves in an effort to make the world a better place.
In this article published in Time, Bob Geldof writes about their meeting about Africa, including the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief and Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria, and the humanitarian mission that will train African peacekeepers.

I recommend you read his article. Geldof, as you can imagine, is an opponent of the Bush Administration’s War in Iraq. At the same time, Geldof is a strong proponent of African aid, something the Bush Administration is strong on as well (though that fact rarely gets headlines). This dichotomy comes into play in Geldof’s article in a really natural way, where he basically says Bush is a gracious host and good guy, it’s a shame that all the good things his administration does gets overshadowed by Iraq. But that whole Iraq thing…yikes, that’s a crime.

Hey all, I got an email today with a great offer. It’s sad what that lady must be goiong through, but every cloud has a silver lining! I have to pass on the offer at this time, but I figured I’d share the love:

“From Mrs Rebecca Garang”
Khartoum Sudan
Africa.

Greetings!

The source through which I got your contact gave me the confidence to reach you.

I am Mrs. Rebecca Garang the widow of late Dr. John Garang who was until his death the vice president of Sudan in Africa….

In brief, my late husband was a strong opposition to the incumbent government and for over 22yrs he has indefatigably fought for the liberation of the Sudanese until he was appointed the vice president on the 9th of July 2005 following the cease fire agreement that was signed on the 6th of January 2005. A decision welcomed by the International Community as an avenue to quench the decades of civil war in Sudan. He died on the 31st of July 2005 following a helicopter crash alongside with 12 others just 22days after his appointment as the vice president. What led to the helicopter crash is still unclear but I know that my husband was the target.

I am a religious person and had always seek for God’s direction in all my endeavours.

I have a problem I believe you will be of great assistance. Please kindly permit me to have your direct telephone numbers to enable me contact for better explanations.

Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely

Mrs. Rebecca Garang.
Khartoum Sudan
Please forward your reply to: rebecca_garang1950@yahoo.ca”

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Gee, I wonder if Mr Garang had a large inheritance that is somehow tied up with the government’s banks, but if I give Mrs Garang some money, she could somehow get it and split it with me……. Seriously, does this work on ANYONE? You figure that it has to, or else why would they bother sending out these emails? The fact that there are rubes in this world dumb enough to fall for these scams truly boggles the mind.