Not buying into Hannity’s attacks, Jesse Ventura plays it cool, despite the fact that he once held a gun that shot down an entire forest in Predator.

9/11 Conspiracy Theories ‘Ridiculous,’ Al Qaeda Says

“America’s Finest News Source” certainly lives up to its name. If you have more time to kill, you should check out their world atlas “Our Big Dumb World” if you haven’t already. It’s scathing satire on just about every country in the world. This week’s featured country is Kenya, which is described as a “natural breeding ground for the world’s top long-distance runners, who learn at a very early age the art of running as far away as they possibly can from Kenya.”

We live in a very fast paced, numbed out world that sometimes we take for granted.

Please take a moment today and remember the victims of 9/11.

Thank you.

-The Synthesis

So 6 years after 9/11, Osama Bin Laden is still kicking back, serving up hella vidz about how much America sucks and Allah rules. You can check out a transcript of his newest clip here. Alongside the usual rhetoric about wars and Islam and whatever, were a few interesting asides, proving once again how wacky and wild of a guy old Bin Laden really is. These include:

Giving a shout out to Noam Chomsky as “among one of the most capable of those from your own side.”

Referring to “the reeling of many of you under the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages; global warming and its woes…”

And offering new tactic for marketing Islam, “There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent.” Damn. Maybe Republicans should vote for Bin Laden…

A mysterious someone, or someones, has reportedly bet around $4.5 billion on something very, very bad happening sometime in the next four weeks.

The two sales are being referred to by market traders as “bin Laden trades” because only an event on the scale of 9-11 could make these short-sell options valuable.

There are 65,000 contracts @ $750.00 for the SPX 700 calls for open interest. That controls 6.5 million shares at $750 = $4.5 Billion. Not a single trade. But quite a bit of $$ on a contract that is 700 points away from current value. No one would buy that deep “in the money” calls. No reason to. So if they were sold looks like someone betting on massive dislocation. Lots of very strange option activity that I haven’t seen before. The entity or individual offering these sales can only make money if the market drops 30%-50% within the next four weeks. If the market does not drop, the entity or individual involved stands to lose over $1 billion just for engaging in these contracts!

Clearly, someone knows something big is going to happen BEFORE the options expire on Sept. 21.

Of course, this could all be bullshit. But crazier shit has happened.

Among the forgotten details of 9/11, is the mysterious white jet filmed circling over the White House as reported by news outlets such as CNN and FOX who had reporters on the ground. Who was in this jet, and more importantly what were they doing? And I guess most important of all, why do I care?? It’s a Monday and I’m bored, that’s why.