I’m beat right now.  Twas a rough night, followed by an early interview with Chris from Saves The Day/Two Tongues, his side project with guys from STD and Say Anything. None-the-less, here’s a short burst of everything you need to know that recently happened in the music world.

*A man at a Papa Roach concert was recently arrested for stage diving. He was let out on a $500 bond, and was given a strict reminder that no one gives a flying fuck about Papa Roach.

*Kanye West is being a little bitch again and was arrested for smacking a photographer’s camera into his face. In a stunning turn of events, he was released with no charges. Fuck you, Kanye. In other Kanye news, he has announced that he is the voice of a generation, and no one gives a fuck.

*John Mayer is set to host a prime time variety show on CBS. BEST DECISION EVAR.

*Adam Lazzara from Taking Back Sunday recently announced that he is having a baby boy. Congrats!

*50 Cent’s new album, Before I Self Destruct, has been pushed back to early 2009, and will be better than anything Kanye steals, err samples, ummm… creates.

There you go, a little taste of the current state of music. We’re currently rocking the new Third Eye Blind Red Star EP… it sounds exactly how you would expect, cept’ apparently he’s not on meth this time. Or maybe he is. I dunnow.

I’m listening to LL Cool J’s first single off his upcoming album, Exit 13, and I’m experiencing some cognitive dissonance. Remember LL from the “Funky Cold Medina,” “Mama Said Knock You Out,” “Going Back to Cali” days? Like Tony Soprano was fond of saying - “old school.” Well, LL Cool J’s new shit is on the new school of pop hip-hop/R&B. Theproduction sounds great, but retains nothing of his old flavor…even his voice and flow have been revamped, no longer as smokey and growling. If not for his familiar cadence, you’d think it was a whole different artist. Check out his video here, and let me know if I’m tripping.

LL COOL J — “EXIT 13″

“I never could have predicted that I’d still be rocking the mic more than two decades after my debut, but here I am,” LL Cool J says with a smile.

Here he is indeed. Nearly 25 years since he first burst onto the scene, LL Cool J continues his vibrant, trailblazing career with the release of EXIT 13, his appropriately titled 13th album for the only label he has called home - Def Jam Recordings.

EXIT 13 is a study in contrast and showcases LL Cool J’s duality. “Depending on my mood, I can be aggressive, explosive and in-your-face, or alternately suave, smooth and sensual. It’s no secret that I like making love songs as much as I like to lay down rhymes,” commented LL. With a career chock full of both and a new album packed with collaborators as diverse as 50 Cent, Wyclef Jean, Richie Sambora and The Dream, and producers such as Suits, DJ Scratch, Ilfonics and Raw Uncut, EXIT 13 is the album LL Cool J fans have been clamoring for – full of passion, braggadocio and smooth rhymes. “When it came time for me to go into the studio, I tried to make this project as relevant as my first, and having that sense of my career coming full circle. Believe me, it was a blessing to be able to go back into the studio and create this album.” (more…)

Rapper 50 Cent won his latest court custody battle with his baby’s momma, Shaniqua. It’s about time because Shaniqua seems like a total nutcase. She is blaming 50 for burning her house down and keeping her from using her Land Rover (which he probably bought!). Shaniqua has also been keeping their son, Marquise, away from fiddy - poor guy! I think he’s a good daddy. Just look, they’re matching! Aw.

A Long Island judge ruled that 50 could have unrestricted visits with his son during August. Both 50 and Shaniqua were ordered to take drug tests before visitation was granted. Surprising, but 50 passed and she tested positive for cough medicines. Sip, sip, sippin’ on some sizzurp? Crazy lady.

And that’s why he got ktfo of the Unit. I <3 Rap Drama.

Basically a 14 year old boy got his ass beat by some kids who listened to fifty cent. Now he’s suing 50, Universal and anyone who looks at him wrong. Dude I feel the same way. One time I was going for a jog and 50 cent came on and for some reason I had an urge to stab someone. Eventually the song ended and I was not able to find a sharp enough knife, but what if I did? I hate you 50!!!!

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Hip hop mogul 50 Cent, Universal Music Group and several of its record labels were sued on Wednesday for promoting a “gangsta lifestyle” by a 14-year-old boy who says friends of the rapper assaulted him.

The lawsuit filed by James Rosemond and his mother, Cynthia Reed, says Universal Music Group — owned by Vivendi SA — and its labels Interscope Records, G-Unit Records and Shady Records, bear responsibility for the assault because they encourage artists to pursue violent, criminal lifestyles.

The lawsuit also names 50 Cent — whose real name is Curtis Jackson — Violator Management, Violator CEO Chris Lighty, Tony Yayo, a rapper and a member of 50 Cent’s G-Unit hip hop group, and Lowell Fletcher, an employee of Yayo.

You’re either going to love our band of the day, or hate it with a bloody passion. The jury’s still out for me, but at the moment I’m leaning toward the former. This act, 99 Cent Whore, featuring actress Mary Birdsong (who plays Deputy Kimball on Comedy Central’s Reno 911!) revs up the schlock and shock factor of its titular frontwoman’s profession. Seems her life didn’t turn out exactly how she thought it would: hence, “99 Cent Whore,” her name and vocation.
The music is macho-rock/pop, full of fist-pumping,headband sweating potential, complete with metal pick squeals and thick-head posturing. the whole this is…well…it’s a bit grating. But from what I gather, it’s not about the music as much as it is the performance and the punch lines, a few of which got me when I wasn’t expecting. You know what? Come to think of it, the jury’s in. I’m liking (licking?) me some 99 Cent Whore.

Here’s a visual sampling for your earballs.