Are you sitting at home right now flipping through an US Weekly, maybe reading up on Alex Rodriguez’s late night rendezvous with Madonna? If so, you should probably find something better to do with your time.

… Belongs to Jeremy Kipnis, a music producer who put together this monstrosity of an entertainment center which features a Sony SRX-S110 Professional Video Projector (4,096-by-2,160 resolution), Stewart Snowmatte 1.0 Gain Laboratory-Grade Motion Picture screen (18×10 foot), Sony BDP-S1 Blu-ray Player, Toshiba HD-XA1 HD DVD Player with SATA Drive (72 HDTV Hours Total) and Mark Levinson N° 51 DVD/CD Media Player, HLD-X0 Hi-Vision HDTV MUSE Laserdisc Player,VC HMDH-5U D-VHS recorder. …And a compass and a stock and this thing that tells time.

Show off.

Here at the Synthesis the employees loooooove their coffee in the morning. Our downtown Pete’s Coffee location must thank the lord above for their close proximity to our office because their pockets get lined with cash on a daily basis out of the deal. I, however, am a weirdo and don’t drink coffee. I love the smell, but the taste, the fact that it makes me shit my guts out, my fear of yellow teeth and coffee breath, and the fact that I don’t need another vice in my life have always made me steer clear.

This is why people like me love the fact that the Synthesis and Red Bull work together. I have my own solution to getting my caffeine fix. I take one of the free Sugar Free Red Bulls out of our little Red Bull fridge they provided us, down that shit in about 2.2 seconds, then just sip on water for the rest of the morning. In about 22 minutes I have pleeeeeeeenty of energy to do things like write this blog. Plus it is a great cure for a hangover if you add three Advil in to the mix. Fuck with it!!

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our resident video savant, the aptly named Video Matt has a boner the size of Rhode Island for Paramore. In fact, he has a personal archive of fap videos that he hoards like gold nuggets, locked away in a safe deep inside his family compound in the hills above Gridley. However, we are slowly convincing him to release some of this footage for the greater good of humanity. Check out these two clips of Paramore back before they were the biggest thing since sliced wrists, playing at the legendary Boardwalk in Orangevale, CA.

Check out Synthesis Sweepstakes and enter the SPRFKR contest! You’ll get fitted in some artsy tee’s or win posters, buttons or stickers! The artwork is AMAZING and he is a Synthesis favorite:

More at his MySpace. SUPER + FUCKER = badass work. Love it!

This is kind of an interesting read if you’re bored and curious about what it’s like to live in a Canadian crack house. Here’s a passage to get you hooked…

After multiple failed attempts at holding down a job, my brother took it upon himself to start selling crack to make money off of the situation. It’s difficult watching your mother slowly kill herself, but it’s even more difficult to watch your brother sell her death. Part of me hates him for it, but at least he’s using the money to pay for things like bills and school.

The things that go on here range from terrifying to hilarious. There are also strange little perks to living in a house like this, which most people are unaware of. So ask away. I’m not shy about the subject and I know it’s something most people are curious about.

The girl happily discusses why she doesn’t live with her clean dad, disgusting tales of maggoty ham, the difference between freebased cocaine and crack, and why the cops never do anything about her sitch. She writes pretty well, maybe we should invite her to blog here for us. She’ll probably have a book out and be on Oprah someday.