Baseball player Corey Hart was elected for an All-Star bid. During the press conference, Hart’s Milwaukee Brewers teammates couldn’t wait to congratulate him. Hart had his two-year-old daughter on his lap during the conference when his teammates ran into the room spraying beers all over them. His daughter was fine after getting a popsicle and forgetting all about it but now there is a major media backlash. Judge for yourself, here’s the video:

This makes my life worth living; knowing there’s bigger tools out there than me.

Danny Bonaduce will be fighting in the ring. His life is such a trainwreck already. Hopefully he’ll be drunk or on drugs or both! At least it would up the entertainment value.

Bonaduce was BITCH SLAPPED (see below) a few months ago by Reverend Bob Levy, a Howard Stern regular. He now wants to settle the dispute once and for all. Levy accepted Bonaduce’s request for a challenging fight in the ring. The event will take place on September 13th in Atlantic City. This better be all over YouTube!

I feel like a shit ton of FAIL today, so here’s a bunch of mascots fucking up their stuff.

Edit: For the record, I originally posted the wrong video… thus making me FAIL at FAILING.

My internet BFF Tito sent me a link to this vid. Murs explains what he’s all about: himself and his own rap. If you don’t like it… SAWRY!

That cat needs to hook back up with Sluggo and come out with a new Felt tribute album. May I suggest Megan Fox?

With the up rise in general dbags and con artists on the internetz, it’s surprising I only had my identity stolen by robots and l33t haxxors about 3 times. Luckily, some smart dude invented the most annoying security device EVAR: the captcha.

Bringing that logic into the real world, we here at the Synthesis have began using captchas in everyday life to streamline the massive amount of serious business we have to accomplish daily. In this edition of Manchild Drink Beer, we bring you actual in office footage of a conversation using our new tool. Enjoi.