With news that the current mortgage crisis has gotten so out of control in America that even millionaires such as Ed McMahon and Evander Holyfield have both recently had their homes foreclosed on is a total fucking farce. The mortgage crisis is affecting the middle class home owners that got an adjustable rate loan they could barely afford to make the payment on during the housing boom, and now REALLY can’t afford it. That was during the time when I saw homes that should have been worth about 150 grand selling for almost 3 times that amount for no reason.

But I digress. The Holyfield and McMahon situations are simply a case of those two being dumb fucks. Those two getting foreclosed on is happening for two reasons: A) they are both stupid. And B) they are both REALLY stupid. First of all, the Holyfield mansion had 17 BATHROOMS!! Who has to shit that much?! Who even knows 17 people that all have to shit at the same time?! Are you telling me he couldn’t have got by with an 8 to 10 bathroom mansion without having people complain they had to wait to take a dump? And when McMahon was asked about how this happened to him he replied “Well, if you spend more money than you make, you know what happens. And it can happen. You know, a couple of divorces thrown in, a few things like that. And, you know, things happen.” No, I don’t know Ed. After I lock my keys in the car while it’s still running I say “things happen”. Not after going $644,000 behind on a $4.8 million dollar home because I can’t figure it the fuck out!

It’s crazy how rich people forget what it’s like not to be rich. Holyfield had better start the rematch with Tyson talks like ASAP, and Ed McMahon better be on the horn to Conan O’brien offering to suck his freckled cock to be his sidekick when he takes Leno’s spot faster you can say “and our defending champion recieves…..two and three quarters stars!”. Fucking morons.

Katt Williams It’s Pimpin’ Pimpin’ Exclusive Preview Tour 2008:

6/11 Omaha, NE
6/12 Wichita, KS
6/13 Kansas City, MO
6/18 Little Rock, AR
6/19 Dallas, TX
6/20 Beaumont, TX
6/21 Houston, TX
6/22 San Antonio, TX
6/26 Los Angeles, CA
6/27 Los Angeles, CA
7/4 Los Vegas, NV

More dates announced soon on www.kattwilliams.com

This man is freakin’ hilarious and a pimp. Go rent American Hustle: The Movie and laugh your ass off.
More information about the comedy film here: www.americanhustle-themovie.com

I was checking in with wwtdd.com, when I saw a post on how pissed off Angelina Jolie is about there being no black princesses in Disney. At first I was like, That is retarded. Whining about Disney princesses, psh. Then I realized that she’s got a point. There’s no Jewish Disney princesses either. Or Mexican princesses! WTF, Walt? Why is it that when you google “Disney Princesses” these are the only ones that show up:

Sander’s Art Studio

And even then, these bitches are the most recognized princesses:

Don’t they just look conniving? Beezies are prolly talking about how tiny your package is. Where’s the badass princesses? The down-ass chicks? I think Mulan and Pocahontas paid their princess dues, why aren’t they in the Exclusive Extra-Special Sparkly Pink Princess Club?

If Disney is going to say there’s a princess in every girl, they better come with it and sketch up an African princess to appease Angelina’s demands. And whaddayaknow, coming soon: The Princess and The Frog, the story of a 1920’s African princess set in New Orleans, featuring a singing crocodile, and Cajun charm. I guess Disney already blew it because from what I’ve heard there are alligators (not crocs) in Louisiana and Nola is not Cajun country. Whatever, chick better have a big ol’ butt! Showmewhatchuworkinwith!

For those waiting in clench-jawed anticipation for another season of The Simpsons, there’s good news. With the announcement that the voice cast is getting raises, plans for the show’s 20th season are all but cemented. No doubt the cast does a great job voicing so many characters (was anyone else flabbergasted at The Simpsons Movie credits?), but one has to wonder if the raise could end up being the financial liability nail in the coffin.

With a healthy, yet declining viewership and continuous claims from long-time fans and critics that the show has been going downhill for years, at what point will it no longer make sense in terms of dollars and cents, to produce the longest running animated show on television? Most self-proclaimed Simpsons fans I know will attest that the show isn’t what it used to be. I can’t help but agree. Still, how much of the criticism can be traced back to the “I liked their old stuff better” phenomenon, where nostalgia mixes in with the memories, rendering any new work pale in comparison. I caught a newer episode the other night, and while it didn’t floor me it was at least decent, which is more than I can say for most stuff on the tube. I’ll take a mediocre Simpsons over 90% of the shows currently on the air. The people signing the checks at $400,000 an actor per episode must agree.

From BBC News:

The cast of The Simpson have signed a four-year deal that guarantees a 20th season of the popular TV show, according to trade paper Variety.
Production was delayed for several months while the voice actors and 20th Century Fox TV discussed an agreement.
Variety said the salaries of the stars - including Dan Castellaneta (Homer) and Nancy Cartwright (Bart) - would rise to $400,000 (£200,000) an episode.
The Simpsons is the US’ longest-running prime-time entertainment series.
Because of the delay, 20 episodes of the new series will be made instead of the usual 22, Variety said.
It is not the first time production on The Simpsons has been delayed for salary negotiations.
In 2004, production was halted for a month after a pay dispute over contracts led the stars to stop work.
Each cast member was seeking about $360,000 per episode, Variety reported at the time. The actors were previously earning $125,000 (£70,000) a show.
In the past, the cast have argued that their wages are relatively low given the huge popularity and success of The Simpsons.
As part of the latest deal, Castellaneta has been named consulting producer on the series. He will serve as a writer in addition to his role as a voice performer.

Sex In The City, The Crest Theater, Sacramento

Wednesday, May 28: The Ultimate Girls Night. My two best friends and I scrambled to get ready in Hotel Clarion, just down the street from the Crest Theater in Sacramento. "Which dress should I wear? The Samantha dress or the Charlotte dress?" I asked.
"I like the Samantha sparkly one, but if you wear the Charlotte one then we’re all in the same color scheme, and the pearls will go better with that one."
"Charlotte it is."
We hurried out and down to the theater just in time to grab a glass of wine and a couple bites of sushi for the Sacramento premier of Sex In The City. As we found our seats and rifled through the goodie bags (which included lotion by Chloe and Jane, Vitamin Water chapstick, a luggage tag, nail files, Arden Fair Mall coupons, and a make-up bag), we caught the tail-end of the look-alike contest. I applauded for the girl wearing the long navy coat and sparkly panties Carrie wore in the episode where she was picked to be a model at Fashion Week (my favorite episode). That took guts! Looking around the gilded room, I saw a sea of giggling girls in pink tank tops and fluffy skirts: the ensemble that started it all. Then, the lights dimmed, the familiar "dun dun dunna" began to play. Squeals of excitement and eager clapping spread through the audience as the skyline of New York came into view. This was the moment the three of us girls had been waiting for. Too long had we been missing the characters that had become our friends. For the next 145 minutes, we were reunited and captivated.
Throughout the movie I was laughing, grabbing for my girlfriends’ hands, and crying more than any other movie has made me cry before, out of joy, out of sadness, and out of sympathy for the conflicts the foursome face. Thankfully, no one died; I would have lost it for sure. But by the time the movie was over, I was emotionally exhausted.
"I’m satisfied with the ending, but I’m so sad it’s over!" I lamented to the girls.
"It’s never over! Samantha, Carrie, Miranda, and Charlotte are reflections of girls like us. Now let’s go to the afterparty and grab some cosmopolitans!"
Don’t have to tell me twice.
Off we went, hand in hand, walking strutting down the red carpet we came in on. Approaching the long line of ladies waiting to get into Ella, our Red Bull friend took us around the corner to the VIP entrance. No line and no waiting caused us to smile coyly as we walked in. Surprisingly there were a number of handsome gentlemen in the bar. Smart guys, I thought. This was the chick event of the year. A table of smooth-looking black men kept glancing at us. However, one walked by, bumping Heather’s cosmo, which sloshed out and narrowly missed her uber-expensive, never-worn-before satin shoes. In true Heather-form, she accepted his offer for a new cocktail with a smirk. He said, "Of course. I’ll just be over there," and walked away. How ungentlemanly.
Perhaps it was time for a change of venue. So we took a cab to the next club, Dream. Once again, we met up with our Red Bull guy who again got us in with ease, sat us down at his table, and ordered a bottle of champagne. To our surprise, the same group of men from Ella (and one ungentleman) came in, sat in the booth behind us, and ordered a bottle of Grey Goose and cran. Heather immediately got that trickster sparkle in her eye as she stood up and flirtatiously said, "I’ll take that drink you offered now." The cheapskate hardly put any vodka in it. We learned later that the posse was none other than Kevin Johnson’s, a candidate for Sacramento mayor and former Cleveland Cavalier’s point guard. We danced in the corner with them (well, they kind of just stood there watching) for awhile before telling them that his friend in the hat is a little rude and then left for the hotel to discuss our epically girlish adventures we had. The night was unforgettable and bonding to say the least. Sex In The City made me fall in love with my friends all over again. To quote Carrie, "After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart…" and if you’re lucky, they’re in the movie seat right next to you.

Everyone’s favorite Showtime show, Weeds, comes back on June 16th! I’d plan the usual Weeds party (which totally does not include the consumption of marijuana…), but I’ll be getting my high from the Snoop Dogg concert here in our little town of Chico. I’ve always dreamed of going to a Snoop show. Remember in Old School when Vince Vaughn organized that FAT house party and Snoop Dogg shows up on stage outta nowhere? That shit is my fantasy!

Then again, so is growing hella weed and making serious cash off of it, making my kids sell drugs, and artfully dodging all the trouble that’s thrown at me. I’ll DVR the new episode fer sher…

When we last left off, all of Agrestic was up in flames because the Mexicans had taken revenge on the biker dudes’ marijuana field (because they beat up Nancy’s oldest son since Nancy wouldn’t buy their schwaggy weed). Nancy had just gone back to her house to pour gasoline everywhere to ensure that it would burn down (probably to get insurance money?). The cops had found the hilariously huge stolen cross from the church which ended up becoming the grow-light for Nancy and Conrad’s crops that weren’t ready for harvesting (thus she had to go to the schwaggy shady biker dudes). So, naturally, when the cops went to check out where the cross was, they found all the weed. The house was in Sullivan’s name, who claims to know nothing and blames Celia (Nancy’s partner by force) who blames Nancy. But Nancy already GTFO and the preview to the new 4th season shows her setting up shop with Guillermo near the San Diego / Mexico border. New, shadier deals are going to go down (uh, hello, cocaine) and Nancy will no doubt be hooking up with dreamy-ass Guillermo. Um, YUM! <333 Cannot wait.