How did Dick Cheney feel about invading Iraq in 1994? Irony at it’s best, watch below.

“…Invading Iraq would create a quagmire.”

Proving that competition exists at every level of broadcasting, PBS is trying to stick it to the Discover Channel by premiering Shark Mountain the same day as Discovery Channel’s Shark Week kickoff. Drama. But if you’re a marine biology nerd with TiVo, consider this your heads up. Shark Mountain airs July 29th at 8PM.

When I was a kid, I used to go to the aquarium at Coney Island, and I’d love to go to the shark exhibit. It was basically a big dark room with a walkway that led you past this giant tank filled with all kinds of sharks and rays. At least that’s how I remember it. It’s been a while. And I don’t know why I liked going to the shark tank so much, because I was so afraid of the fucking things I could barely look at them.

I’ve always been fascinated with sharks, though, which is why I always tune into Shark Week just about every year. Except for this year, because I don’t have cable any more. That shouldn’t stop you from watching it, though, especially if you’d like to see clips like this.

Shark Week celebrates its 20th anniversary starting July 29th through August 4th and will pretty much run from 9AM to 3AM everyday with top rated programs from the past and eight all-new specials.

Pft. I could totally be a superhero. I’m witty, intelligent, more powerful than a lawnmower, and I think I’d look pretty darn good in spandex, if I do say so myself.

That’s right, superfans, it’s time for season numero dos of “Who Wants to be a Superhero?”. (Insert childish jumping and hand waving here.)

Sci-Fi’s smut TV is back for round two, boasting characters such as a scantily-clad woman who can, of all things, talk to insects and a well-oiled man who uses his sweat as a weapon. Mind numbing, isn’t it? Stan Lee’s series continues to use cheap effects reminiscent of SpiderMan 3 (heh) and cheesy storylines that could only come out of a comic book.

Hm.. if I were a superhero, I’d be… The Super Fabulo Hoe. That’s right. I’d lure the bad guys in on the street corner and then *KAPOW*. They’re going down in a blaze of super fabulo action. Naturally, my costume would consist of only the best neon metallic spandex known to man, impenetrable by both weapons and incongruous body fluids. Steel reinforced stilletos, and of course.. a cape. I need a cape. Capes are for the best of the best superheroes, the cream of the crop, and the boat floaters. I deserve a cape just for being so incredibly awesome.

I can see it now… Synthesis intern by day… Super Fabulo Hoe by night. I’m the next Clark Kent (minus man parts and cheesy pickup lines).

Tune into “Who Wants to be a Superhero?” on Sci-Fi. Maybe next season you’ll even get a glimpse of The Super Fabulo Hoe.

Over and out.

Up, up and away.

So with my boss finally coming off of his Lost addiction, I’m now allowed to speak the words everyone has on their mind: Entourage is the best show ever. Ever. Turtle is my favorite stoner on T.V. at the moment, and lets face it; given enough Jager shots, I might possibly go gay for Ari Gold. I’m bringing this up because they’ve locked in 7 Emmy nominations, including best comedy. In honor of this, here’s 10 minutes of J. Piven’s best work.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/TGTJSorTQvw" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Just in case you missed it.