I hate to brag, but this is the perfect post to follow-up O’Reilly flip-out… Sue Simmons drops the f-bomb on WNBC-TV last evening leaving a very awkward 8 seconds of silence and then this apology to the thousands of watchers:

“I have to acknowledge an unfortunate incident … I used a word that many people find offensive. It was a mistake I made and I’m truly sorry.”

Hilarity ensues (HA, GET IT?!?!):

EVERYONE uses this word at some point and usually on a daily-fucking-basis, but for some reason it’s so much funnier when an anchorman (or anchorlady!) drops it.

What do those three have in common? Good will! This Friday (the 16th at 5pm!), a celeb-autographed teak wood table will go up on Ebay to the highest bidder. 100% of the money will be donated to Goodwill Industries International, North America’s leading nonprofit provider of education, training, and career services for people with disadvantages.

Most recently, Cisco Brothers sponsored the star-studded eco-lounge for Green Means Go!: “Solutions For Greener Living” where dozens of like—minded retailers and luxury service providers gathered to engage with environmentally conscious celebrities.

More than 20 actors, models, musicians, and members of royalty attended the Green Means Go! event and signed the Cisco Brothers Teak table including: Amy Smart; Corey Haim; Noah Zehetner (NBC’s “Heroes”); the Oscar and Grammy Award-winning recording Artist, DJ Paul of three 6 mafia, Alli Sims, Drew Seely (High School Musical) and many, many more.

Go to www.ebay.com to check it out!

Oh, The Onion, your daring ventures into internet television have not gone unnoticed!

Army Holds Annual ‘Bring Your Daughter To War’ Day

Ben Stiller took part in a great short when he hosted SNL a few years back. Entitled “The H Is O,” it stars Stiller as a douche club fly at a hipster joint in NYC. He claims to his buddies to be able to pick anybody up in three lines or less. This of course results in an attempt at swooping Glenn Frey from the Eagles, played by Will Ferrell. Just watch…

Barbara Walters upcoming appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show will center around a recent admission of her affair with then-married Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke.

The affair happened over 30 years ago, and lasted for a few years during the ’70s. Brooke was the first African-American to be elected to the Senate by popular vote, and at the time, Walters was still co-hosting NBC’s Today show.

I was going to make some ill-advised Jungle Fever reference, but, well, you’re all smarter than that (I hope). Needless, to say, I’m repulsed that anyone, ever, would have wanted to engage in sexual congress with Barbara Walters.

Enetertainer/magician/bat-shit-crazy human being David Blaine recently set a new world’s record for holding his breath for an astonishing 17 minutes 4 seconds underwater. The feat occurred on the set of Oprah in Chicago.

“I feel great,” the silver wetsuit-clad American said as he was pulled to the surface. “I actually started to doubt I was going to make it because I’d never done it with such a high heart rate.”

Blaine said he had managed it by staying in a meditative state which was helped by the stage lights reflecting off the sphere.

His assistants said during the event that his heart rate should have dropped far lower than it did.

Two years ago, he failed in an attempt to break the record for holding his breath underwater while simultaneously escaping from heavy chains.

Before the latest attempt inside a sphere filled with 1,800 gallons of water, Blaine spent 23 minutes inhaling pure oxygen, packing his lungs with extra oxygen just before the breathing tubes were removed.

“There’s no enhancement, no cheating,” he told Winfrey, adding that while he makes his living as a magician, his stunts were about pushing the limits of the human body.

This guy scared the shit out of me before, but knowing now that if I were to engage him physically, and choke him, that I’d have to labor for an excruciatingly long 17 minutes at least before he’d be unconscious, makes me wonder if he’s actually a real person. Who’s with me?