I cannot wait. I’m going to get my hands on one of those new puppies asap. I’m not the only one, either. Several people in this office have been complaining about their phones sucking lately, enough to make me suspicious of Apple for some kind of iPhone conspiracy. Maybe Steve Jobs hired some secret team of geniuses to hack the mobile signals from the satellites or some shit because everyone’s phones here keep randomly shutting off. I, myself, have been without a working cell phone for like 5 days now because my charger has mysteriously disappeared. Damn gnomes.

I’m not even going to buy a new charger. I’m re-virginizing myself until the day I get my iPhone and we spend our first night together, touching buttons and exploring all its bells and whistles. Damn, I just checked and I guess it’s not going to be available until July 11th. Wahhh!!!!!!!!

With today’s news that the unemployment rate saw it’s biggest increase in over a decade, while oil hit a new record price of $139 a barrel, its become obvious that those $600 checks aren’t cutting it. America needs a federal program along the lines of Roosevelt’s CCC to get shit really going. But since our leaders are basically all lopdicks, its up to those in the private sector to come up with some innovative ideas this time around. So here’s mine. Replace cars with rickshaws. Gives people jobs, and eliminates the need for gas. Done and done. And I’m not even the first person to think of this idea. Michael Richards may hate black people, but he might go down in history as the visionary behind the Federal Rickshaw Transportation Act of 2009.

For those of you who don’t know, Feudalism is a term used to describe the political system during the Medieval Age and since coining of the term in 1614, has been applied to multiple different societies throughout history. Feudalism is a system defined by three major parts, lords, vassals and fiefs. For accuracy, I refer to wikipedia:

The structure of feudalism can be seen in how these three elements fit together. A lord was a noble who owned land, a vassal was a person who was granted possession of the land by the lord, and the land was known as a fief. In exchange for the fief, the vassal would provide military service to the lord. The obligations and relations between lord, vassal and fief form the basis of feudalism

Keep this definition in mind as I (attempt) to dissect an article published by the NY Times earlier today, June 5th.

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AFS Trinity, a company based out of Delaware, has reportedly manufactured a plug-in hybrid that can do 150mpg. Sources are claiming that they have fixed the battery life problem that has been the downfall of most electric cars makers. Not only does this thing get you there cheap, but it’ll get you there fast. The company has stated that it packs a nice 370hp, which is good by any means, especially when you consider that this baby is going to be pretty light.

Personally, I’m down. When you’re driving a truck that gets about 10mpg and gas is a whopping $4.29 here (usually at best), the little hybrids start looking more and more appealing. From the website:

AFS Trinity XH™ Plug-in Hybrid Program – 2008

AFS Trinity Power has developed patent-pending technology that makes it possible for plug-in hybrid electric vehicles to achieve 150 MPG, go 40 miles in all-electric mode, and use gasoline for additional unlimited miles in hybrid mode.

In July 2007, in order to very quickly demonstrate all of the key attributes of this technology, the company mounted an effort to build two fully operational XH-150 SUV prototypes using off-the-shelf components. The two vehicles—modified Saturn Vue SUVs—were built in less than six months. They were unveiled on January 13, 2008 at the North American International Auto Show in Detroit (Press Announcement) and (Salon.com test drive report).

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Seriously I want to be a logger now. Who knew John Deere engineers were so into Star Wars and all sorts of gangster ass future shit?