Someone will turn this true story into a blockbuster movie:

Using his wife’s kitchen pots and pans Mr Kanzius, 63, built a machine to direct radio waves at tumours, heating and killing them without damaging the surrounding tissue - something that opens up the possibility of cancer treatment with few or no side effects.

Now two teams of American cancer researchers have just shown that a refined version of Mr Kanzius’s machine can kill static tumours in mice and rabbits and they are working to find a way to hunt down cancers that spread through the body. They believe human trials could start within four years.

read the whole article

Damnit. That’s what you get for not fully fact checking and especially paying close attention to dates. The lunar eclipse and satellite shoot-down madness already happened. No nuclear holocaust (awwwwww.). This slip-up makes this post even funnier and probably more idiotic, and certainly puts distress on my non-existent blogging reputation. I guess I could change my alias, since everyone tries to pronounce it, but can’t (hahaha suckers.). Or I could just take it down in an attempt not to look like a jackass, but Daniel Taylor already knows, so I am basically screwed. (rawr)

Sorry, no Lunar Eclipse or Nuclear War. Didn’t mean to get your hopes up, but it’s not like you’re going to have to wait much longer.

Sometime in 2005 I made a journey to New Zealand. Most of the details of this trip are very irrelevant to the purpose of this post, so don’t mind as I skip to a certain story.

Me and a friend I was traveling with were hitch-hiking from Nelson Creek NZ (after visiting the Nelson Creek Skateboard factory) to a remote town also on the South Island of New Zealand. It was raining, damn hard and freaking cold. A kind, yet eccentric man pulled over and offered us a well-recieved ride. His car was packed, he could barely fit our bags, let alone us and our damp fabrics. He strongly expressed that he would normally never pick up a hitch-hiker, but that this time he had some sort of hunch that we were American.

It didn’t take me long to label him as your run-of-the-mill conspiracy nut, filled with facts, fears and rationalizations about the government. But as time went on intellect and genius began to peak through his fact-less arguments. He talked heavily about the health care scam, false prophecies, the world bankers’ scam and New Orleans (which had happened 5-6 weeks earlier). He explained how humans were to be sorted into categories once martial law took place; green for the fully impressioned (zombies), yellow for those who needed further conditioning (the sell-outs) and red, those who would be a ‘danger’ to society and would need to be terminated (the revolutionaries). After that bit I was sure the guy was crazy, and nothing really sunk in until he made a certain direct prophecy, one that stuck with me all these years.

He predicted that the United States was going to ‘kill’ a spy satellite, and this event would somehow cause a conflict with Russia, thus starting a major conflict, such as a nuclear war. He also said this would happen Early 2008.

(more…)

R&B star Akon has long claimed to have previously lived a life of crime as the self-proclaimed “ringleader of a notorious car theft operation,” among other criminal enterprises. After reportedly being ratted out by his underlings, Akon supposedly spent three years in prison, fighting larger inmates everyday, and penning his hit single “Locked Up” about his time and experiences in the clink. However, The Smoking Gun has found that Akon is a big fat LIAR:

Akon’s ad nauseum claims about his criminal career and resulting prison time have been, to an overwhelming extent, exaggerated, embellished, or wholly fabricated, an investigation by The Smoking Gun has revealed. Police, court, and corrections records reveal that the entertainer has created a fictionalized backstory that serves as the narrative anchor for his recorded tales of isolation, violence, woe, and regret. Akon has overdubbed his biography with the kind of grit and menace that he apparently believes music consumers desire from their hip-hop stars.

While the performer’s rap sheet does include a half-dozen arrests, Akon has only been convicted of one felony, for gun possession. That 1998 New Jersey case ended with a guilty plea, for which the singer was sentenced to three years probation. Another 1998 bust, this one in suburban Atlanta, has been seized upon by Akon and transformed into the big case that purportedly sent him to prison (thanks to his snitching cohorts) for three fight-filled years. In reality, Akon was arrested for possession of a single stolen BMW and held in the DeKalb County jail for several months before prosecutors dropped all charges against him.

So there was no conviction. There was no prison term between 1999 and 2002. And he was never “facing 75 years,” as the singer claimed in one videotaped interview.

Akon’s invented tales appear to be part of a cynical marketing plan, but one that has met with remarkable success. Few press interviews conclude without Akon being asked about his criminal exploits and his prison days. He obliges with canned and well-rehearsed claims, false as they may be, and compares his supposed nationwide operation to those depicted in the movies “Gone in 60 Seconds” and “New Jersey Drive.” And in interview after interview over the years, he always makes sure to point out the “notorious” nature of his theft ring (as if the adjective’s inclusion makes him sound even more felonious). Akon repeats the phrase “notorious car theft operation” so frequently it seems like he is reading it from a sheet of talking points.

Hopefully the next thing The Smoking Gun will investigate is the fact that Akon, T-Pain, etc all use so much fucking Autotune they make Cher look like Pavarotti. Seriously, emo bands using that shit are bad enough, but hip-hop and R&B aren’t even trying to make it sound human.

“Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…”
“Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try to stay awake.”

Admittedly, I too am a bit skeptical of the upcoming Princess Bride Game, which will launch as a downloadable animated game this summer. The following trailer isn’t necessarily assuaging my distrust. There are a million and one ways to fuck up a legacy, and until I see otherwise, looks like Worldwide Biggies is tampering with greatness. But please, judge for yourself.

The Princess Bride Downloadable Game Trailer from PrincessBrideGame on Vimeo.

Right now, AcidPlanet.com is hosting a contest where fans have the opportunity to remix the title track of the Princess Bride Game. Woopie.

From the Press Release:

NEW YORK, NY — April 16, 2008 — ACIDplanet.com one of the Internet’s premier sites for user-generated music, video content, computer-based recording and remixing tools, today launched a contest to develop a new version of the film’s title theme song timed with a new downloadable video game based on the classic 1987 film, The Princess Bride. Contestants can download the components from the Sony Creative Software ACIDplanet.com website and remix their own title track from The Princess Bride Game (available at www.princessbridegame.com) created by Worldwide Biggies and debuting in June 2008.

Contestants may download the components to The Princess Bride Game theme song starting today and must submit their remix entry by midnight May 22, 2008. ACIDplanet remix contestants may use Sony Creative Software ACID XPress loop-based music production software that users can download for free or they may also use their software of choice.

The winning entry will be selected by the producers of the game and will be featured on http://www.PrincessBrideGame.com as an exclusive world premiere this summer. Other prizes for The Princess Bride Game ACIDplanet.com remix contest include a Debutante Butterfly guitar from Daisy Rock, Sony Creative Software Vegas Pro 8, ACID Pro 6, Cinescore Theme Packs, Sony Creative Software Loop Libraries and a Sony Portable DVD player.

For more information and complete contest rules, please visit:
http://www.acidplanet.com

I’ll be happy to change my tune once I see the actual game, but right now all I’m thinking is Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. Don’t mess with greatness. Don’t gild the lily.

“Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?”

“If there are, we all be dead.”

DEATH FIRST!

In a move Blockbuster chief executive James Keyes called a “game-changing retail concept” that would “dramatically accelerate” the ailing movie rental chain’s morphing into a 21st Century multi-platform media dispensary, Blockbuster Inc. made a $1.35 billion cash offer in a hostile takeover bid for electonics retailer Circuit City yesterday, a move that was panned by both analysts and Circuit City:

Wall Street analysts puzzled over the rationale of combining two troubled companies with little in common. Circuit City, meanwhile, put out a press release questioning whether Blockbuster could obtain sufficient financing for the deal. The offer, at between US$6 and US$8 a share, is bigger than Blockbuster’s entire stock-market value, which totalled about US$630-million based on Friday’s closing price.

“It makes zero sense,” said Howard Davidowitz, chairman of Davidowitz &Associates Inc., a retail consulting and investment-banking firm in New York. “Circuit City is completely underwater and I don’t see any major synergies from the deal … A deal has to be ‘one-plus-one equals three.’ This is ‘one-plus-one equals one-and-a-half.’ “

It seems the only real winner in this deal might be Blockbuster’s chief antagonist, Netflix:

Blockbuster Inc. succeeds with its hostile takeover bid for Circuit City Stores Inc., it could potentially result in the movie rental company selling its DVD-by-mail business to its online rival, Netflix Inc., an analyst said Tuesday. Jefferies & Co. Inc. analyst Youssef Squali said in a Tuesday client note that the success of Blockbuster’s bid of just over $1 billion for the struggling electronics retailer is “far from certain” but could benefit Netflix in a variety of ways. These include “making Blockbuster less competitive online, and potentially ‘forcing’ Blockbuster to sell its DVD-by-mail business to … Netflix, in an effort to monetize this under-appreciated asset,” he said.