Recently retired legendary quarterback Brett Favre was announced as the virtual cover boy for the next Madden video game. The cover of the popular series of games has long garnered mysticism, as whomever graces the sleeve inevitably succumbs to some season-ending injury (dubbed the “Madden Curse” by incredibly boring super nerd gamers). Luckily for Favre, he’s already retired, hereby paving the way for Chico’s favorite son Aaron Rodgers to take his rightful place as starting QB.

Yeah, I know he put up 49 points and 10 assists in Game 2 against the Nuggets. Yeah, I know he’s going to win MVP. But goddamn, couldn’t Kobe Bryant be just a little bit less annoying? Every time he pops his jersey in self-righteous exaltation I cant help but cringe and shout at the television. Can’t we leave the collar-pop tactics to high schoolers? I’m not alone in this sentiment, am I?

Last night at the San Jose Arena, aka The Shark Tank, our beloved hockey team sent the Calgary Flames packing with a big time Game 7 victory. Why was it so big? Because the Sharks have been playoff underachievers for quite some time now. They’ve had Stanley Cup dreams several times entering the post-season, and have always managed to be one of those squads that just can’t quite get it done, ala the Dallas Mavericks or Phoenix Suns in the NBA.

If the Sharks had been defeated last night against Calgary, it is my contention that the team would have suffered dearly next season, simply by tacking on yet another year of failed glory. The well will always run dry of hope after a long enough period of blown chances. I’m not saying that the Sharks are now definitely headed to the Cup; it’s just a damn good thing they didn’t fuck that series up, being the 2 seed and all.

Favorite moments of the matchup would have to be the Game 4 comeback, and then Jeremy Roenick’s go-ahead wrister last night. But really, it’s all about San Jose announcer Randy Hahn’s Game 4 call of the Sharks second and third goals. If you don’t want to watch this entire clip, just shoot forward to 1:15 for first class sports broadcasting.

In an attempt to break a world record for most hours flying using party balloons, a Brazilian Roman catholic Priest, suspended by 1,000 helium balloons, is now missing. His aim was to raise money to build a rest-stop church for truckers.

Even on my best day I couldn’t make this shit up.

Wacky news story of the day or sign of the impending apocalypse? Either way, this is why I listen to the BBC in the morning:

“Father Adelir de Carli lifted off from the port city of Paranagua on Sunday, equipped with a parachute, thermal suit, satellite phone and a GPS device.

A sea and air rescue operation is under way after he lost contact with port authority officials late on Sunday.

He wanted to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons.

Father Carli was hoping to raise money to fund a rest stop for lorry drivers in Paranagua, one of Brazil’s major ports for agricultural products.”

Yeah, I don’t think I have anything else to add. Complete lyrics to Jimmy Webb’s “Up, Up and Away” and a full wikipedia synopsis of The Flying Nun after the jump. (more…)

Yeah he’s got ball(s), but does does Tour de France champion Lance Armstrong have enough ball(s) to take the Boston Marathon championship away from one long-legged Kenyan?

No. Robert Cheruiyot took that shit for the fourth time with 2 hours, 7 minutes, 46 (32 seconds slower than his record. Guess he was just playing with the crowd). Armstrong was running for charity.

From WBZTV

Armstrong finished the course in 2 hours, 50 minutes and 58 seconds…

Armstrong is raising money for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which pursues an agenda focused on cancer prevention, access to screening and care, the improvement of the quality of life for cancer survivors, and an investment in research.

“I’m excited to be here,” told WBZ’s Steve Burton before the race.

“If I broke 3 hours I’d be happy. I’m not in perfect shape, but the point is to get out here and enjoy it and really be part of the atmosphere and the ambiance of this great marathon.”

Armstrong’s foundation has 50 runners in the race. They hope to raise $250,000.

I caught an amazing show in Chico last night. Three Portland bands played Cafe Coda. There were no local support acts, so the show wasn’t very well attended, but this didn’t stop Nick Jaina, Weinland and Norfolk & Western from putting their hearts into it and digging into their strings, horns, drums and woodwinds. Nick Jaina, playing as a seven-piece, stole the show….for me, my girlfriend, and three or four other people who were in there not working or playing in the band. Then Weinland tore it up as well.

Weinland had stayed at my house last time they were through Chico and shot a bit of video. I’m not much for sports, but drinking games? Solid. Here my room mate Paul Valadon explains to touring band Weinland (nee John Weinland) the rules of Putt-Putt Drink-Drink.

Be sure to check out http://www.myspace.com/johnweinland, as they will be on tour for the next seven weeks.