ZOMG ALL OUR BUILDINGS ARE BELONG TO THEM:

The latest Big Apple trophy being coveted by oil-rich sovereign wealth funds is the landmark Chrysler Building. Sources say the super-rich Abu Dhabi Investment Council is negotiating an $800 million deal for a 75 percent stake in the Art Deco treasure that has defined the Midtown skyline since 1930.

This follows closely on the heels of the recent purchase by a partnerneship including Dubai-based Meraas Capital of another New York landmark, the General Motors Building:

Boston Properties said its partners in the $2.8 billion purchase of New York’s General Motors Building include Dubai private equity firm Meraas Capital, newswire Bloomberg reported on Tuesday.
The involvement of Meraas Capital reflects the increased interest by oil rich Middle Eastern funds in US property, especially New York real estate, an analyst told the newswire.

Of course, the crown jewel in the Arab Real Estate portfolio is an out-of-the-way single-family-home, on 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington DC. They bought that shit about 8 years ago. But rumors on the internet say it might be for sale again. Just a matter of who has enough cash to pay the asking price.

The “Brown Note” is an infamous sonic weapon used on unruly crowds. Said weapon causes distress to the equilibrium, resulting in uncontrollable bowel movements. Mark Cohen, founder of re-Create 68, is worried that such tactics may be used at the Democratic National Convention in Denver.

“I think these weapons were mostly intended for military use and so their use for dealing with innocent protesters seems highly inappropriate,” he said. “The idea that they might be field testing them on people who are doing nothing more than exercising their first amendment rights is disturbing.”

Brown Note was reportedly used in 2003 at free-trade agreement protests in Miami (a scene of which is pictured above). The whole concept is strange to me. I have a hard time believing that the Democratic Convention will turn into some sort of riot, especially considering that the party now has a candidate. But then again, I wouldn’t put anything past a pack of angry law enforcement officers.

John McCain says that he would “veto every beer” on accident in this clip. It’s funny and everything, but if that crusty old fuck touches my beer I will kick his shriveled little dick in the dirt.

“Suicide Is Painless” would be a pretty bad ass final quote to scrawl in the dust on the hood of your car right before you did a swan dive off a bridge, at least that’s what Samuel Israel III thought. The convicted “hedge fund swindler” was supposed to report to federal prison after being sentenced to 20 years in April for being a thieving little bastard. He convinced investors to put more than $450 million in to Bayou hedge funds, which have since collapsed, and was ordered to pay back $300 million to his victims.

Too bad this whole thing is guaranteed to be a farce. The FBI says there has been no body found, and nobody saw anybody jump. I can’t say I blame the dude for faking it though. I mean, if somebody was like “show up at my office in a few weeks to report to prison where you are sure to get used like a dick receptical for about 20 years straight” I would probably find a way to fuck off in the meantime too.

Me? Like everyone else who filed paper returns instead of online and has a social security number ending in 39 and above, I’m still waiting form my mad money….money which I plan on investing in Eastern European economy. But if you want to find out how others are helping to, uh, rebuild our economy, check out HowISpentMyStimulus.com.

R. Kelly’s sex tape trial is now focusing on his lower back mole, of all things. Images of Kelly’s back mole linked him to a sex tape at the middle of his child pornography trial. Kelly’s attorneys argued that the man in the graphic tape did not have a mole, so it could not have been Kelly.
Video forensics expert froze frames of the sex tape and there was a dark spot on the man’s back and it was in the exact same position as Kelly’s. Uh oh..

His defense attorney argued that the spot faded in and out and could be a technical imperfection on the tape. Kelly, 41, is charged with child pornography. This is because he allegedly videotaped himself with a girl as young as 13. Kelly is pleading not guilty and faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted.

And this popped up when I googled Kelly & I’m finding it prettttty creepy: