Here’s one that’s guaranteed for a good laugh. Bill O’ Reilly flips the fuck out a few years back on Inside Edition.

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There’s a reason why Hunter S. Thompson thought fairly well of George McGovern (well, for a politician anyway…) - his idealism didn’t stand in the way of his reason. (Maybe. It’s been a while since I read Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ‘72. I kinda forget the details, except the part where Thompson talked football with Nixon). Now once-Democratic Presidnetial candidate George McGovern, a longtime Clinton supporter, has pulled his endorsement and is now backing Barack Obama.

From Times OnLine:

Senator McGovern had been a high profile Hillary Clinton supporter but today he insisted that she had virtually no chance of winning. The 1972 Democratic presidential nominee said he was endorsing Senator Barack Obama after studying the returns from the North Carolina and Indiana primaries.

“I will hold them in affection and admiration all of my days,” he said of the Clintons, close friends from his early political career.
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“She has run a valiant campaign. Hillary, of course, will make the decision as to if and when she ends her campaign. But I hope that she reaches that decision soon so that we can concentrate on a unified party capable of winning the White House next November.”

[Once again Synthesis Blog brings you the rambling wisdom and sagacious meditations of our Synthesis Weekly columnist, Mad Bob Howard. The reclusive and gun-toting Mad Bob can be reached at madbob@madbob.com]

Dude, STFU!
Reverend Wright and the Death of the Original Day Tripper

Believe me, I desperately want to stop writing about politics as much as you probably want to stop reading about them, but everyday I listen to another outrage or episode on the news and my fingers just take over and start doing their little politics tap-dance on these black plastic keys! I am not in control here! I’m a junkie and I’ve got it bad. I’m shaking and slobbering like a dog, vibrating and contorting; there’s a twitch, a spasm. Damn these fits! There’s only one fix for the political junkie, and right now a fresh new batch of the good strong stuff has hit the streets. So politics it is my fine friends. Bend over and get ready for another five swipes with the paddle — or maybe the switch grass. Corporal punishment is alive and well here in the Immaculate Infection.
Reverend Wright and the National Media Launch Torpedo Attack: A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article in support of the Reverend Jeremiah Wright. I stand by what I said; I think the Reverend is accurate when he says our nation was founded on racism and that our foreign policy has very much to do with our current “terrorism” woes. I also denounced the national media for taking his quotes out of context and replaying them on endless loop in order to paint the man as a radical zealot.

Unfortunately, it seems that Reverend Jeremiah Wright has taken a liking to the national media spotlight. Apparently a combination of failure to grasp the way this national media machine works and an ego-driven need for attention have rendered in him an inability to understand a fundamental fact.
Right now, every time Reverend Jeremiah Wright opens his mouth it will only hurt Senator Barack Obama’s chance to get into the White House. The story has already been framed by the national media; all they are looking for now is a handful of seven-second quotes to color their paint by numbers picture. The Revered has obliged willingly — stepped into the oncoming train that is the National Press Club and unleashed another political firestorm for Obama’s camp to try and desperately extinguish.
My sources tell me that Hillary Clinton came as close as she has in decades to having an orgasm while she watched Wright roll his eyes, flippantly dismiss the intrusive media questions, and deliver a Sunday-style sermon to a cynical godless media ready and waiting to pounce on any hyperbole that might be twisted to fit a landscape littered with but thirsting for more blood. On the other side of the aisle, John McCain witnessed the spectacle and politely dismissed himself to the restroom to jack himself off. Rush Limbaugh was so happy he popped a half-dozen oxys and washed them down with a half a pint of whiskey.

[More advice for Rev Wright, and a look back on the person who accidentally discovered LSD after the jump.]
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The following is a Synthesis Weekly column penned by Bob Howard, whose written works can also be found here

…Democracy is a poor system; the only thing that can be said for it is that it’s eight times as good as any other method. Its worst fault is that its leaders reflect their constituents…”

- Jubal Harshaw from Robert Heinlein’s Science Fiction Classic “Stranger in a Strange Land.“

Here is an amazing factoid. President George W. Bush holds the record for both the highest and the lowest approval ratings since the inception of the Gallup Poll. In the days following 911 his ratings were in the 90’s - now they have sunk down to the 20’s. Do you ever imagine he must scratch his head sometimes and think “what the hell do these people want?” To me this doesn’t represent any dramatic shift in the man or his policies but rather the fickle and schizoid temperament of a population so focused on the zen of immediate gratification and the satisfaction of every conceivable urge that consequence has become not just an after-thought but a non-thought. Then we wake up and look around at the wasteland gross consumption has made of the world around us and go “hey, what the fuck? This sucks!”

So as we sow so shall we reap… I read that someplace or another. Fuck it, pop another pill, pour another drink, shovel some more processed food into our ever-fattening faces - its all going over the cliff now anyway. Everything under the sun is “green” but our level of CO2 emissions hasn’t gone down an iota since Al Gore’s eye-opening climate change documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” came out two years ago. Lip service and clever marketing campaigns are all we have to show for an awful lot of good intentions and even a little bit of hard work.

I’m starting to think this whole thing is bullshit. The ones talking the most about climate change seem to overlap neatly with the same ones leaving the largest “carbon footprints” - the globe-trotting celebrities, the politicians in their private jets, the educated upper-middle class with their air-conditioned McMansions and their ever intact sense of entitlement. Sure it’s a lovely idea to actually cut our consumption - but that would mean we might actually sweat and feel hungry once in awhile! Intolerable. Doesn’t fit in with the whole “satisfy every craving immediately” philosophy that defines the American existence in this year of our Lord 2008.

The Thing That Would Not Die

Hillary Clinton is decidedly still in the race after what is looking like a decisive 10 point victory in Pennsylvania. I don’t know what I think about that. Ask me now and again in five minutes and I’ll likely give you two completely contradictory answers. I like that this primary is actually up for grabs but I also can’t stomach the idea of a continuation of the policies of the last eight years and it seems like the longer the democrats squabble over the nomination the more likely it is no matter who gets it will end up being defeated by another stodgy old white dude in a dark suit bowing down to the gods of corporate enterprise and industry. Wonderful.
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Okay……………………….WHO GIVES A SHIT?

For Chrissakes people, as much as I prefer Obama over Clinton, if anyone is in an uproar over what one of Hilary’s advisers said behind closed doors, they’re simply trying too hard. Really, people? Apparently, while gloating over returns in 1992, Bill Clinton Adviser Mickey Kantor referred to Indiana voters as “Shit,” and made a reference to themas being “worthless white niggers.” Oh wow, what a shock: salty political discussion not meant for public consumption. Who knew? Indiana wasn’t that important, so I imagine the round table discussion was over how much resources they should have spent in the state of lesser importance. Now Kantor is on Hilary’s team, and, in an attempt to divert flack from Rev Wright’s recent comments, the Obama camp is using the same hare-brained tactics against their opponents. Guilt by association? C’mon!
First of all, anyone who lives in Indiana is Shit, or else they would have moved to Portland by now*. Second of all, this happened 16 years ago - is this the best you can come up with Obama minions? Hilary is a career-politician with her hand fisting the pork barrel piggy bank for decades and this is the dirt you spread? ODB, say what’s on my mind:

Thanks, Dirty. Plus, that may even be doctored footage, according to director D.A. Pennebaker, who claims the footage comes from his 1993 film “The War Room.” Whatever. People, this is dumb. Save the dirty politics for talk radio.

* Just playing with you Indiana. You know I love you, boo.

Barbara Walters upcoming appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show will center around a recent admission of her affair with then-married Massachusetts Senator Edward Brooke.

The affair happened over 30 years ago, and lasted for a few years during the ’70s. Brooke was the first African-American to be elected to the Senate by popular vote, and at the time, Walters was still co-hosting NBC’s Today show.

I was going to make some ill-advised Jungle Fever reference, but, well, you’re all smarter than that (I hope). Needless, to say, I’m repulsed that anyone, ever, would have wanted to engage in sexual congress with Barbara Walters.