Synthesis is giving away iPods, CDs, DVDs and more, and all you need to do is visit our Sweeps page for a chance to collect your free shit. And everyone loves free shit. Except Osama bin Laden (and he’s soooooo yesterday’s news). Here’s what we gots:

See? shit is BLOWING UP!

Yeah, I know: I can hardly believe it myself. Charter’s Ultra60 Mbps is the fastest service in St. Louis. Since Charter’s Ultra60 Mbps happens to be this post’s sponsor, I should quit being facetious and note that they are also one of the fastest providers in the nation, so they claim. I am feeling rather inclined to crow on about their viability in providing Internet with phatband speed….which I am to assume means “super rad fantastic speed.” Right now it’s based in St. Louis, but look for it nationwide throughout 2009. At these kinds of speeds users can…gasp, actually use the internet to stream movie and TV shows, play games and other multi-media functions. Holy wow! PhatBand is transforming the old DSL into the dial-up of today’s Internet service. It’s their belief that DSL just can’t keep up with cable, taking broadband to the entire next level. Hardcore gamers better be ready to experience no lag…I KNOW!

Take a moment and go to the Ultra60 Information Page. If you have caught the Twitter bug, be sure to visit Charter’s Twitter Feed and follow them for updates at a nearly blinding output. I mean, a quick moment-to-moment update, not as in “you will go blind if you are a Twitter user and follow Charter’s Twitter Feed.” And if you use Charter’s Ultra60 Mbps service you can do it at the speed of now!

I hear the costs of having a baby are second only to starting your own sovereign nation on an island in the Gulf of Arabia. At least that’s how it seems. Of the several people I know with new babies or ones on the way, finances are tight, especially IN THIS ECONOMY. Hell, my hours have been slashed here leaving me in a state of half-time, like the undead equivalent of a member of our workforce and I’m sure the extra mouth my boss will have to feed will take care of the rest of my half-time wages. Children: the great resource-sucker. Speaking of suckers, kids sure like to suckle down that baby formula, and while it’s well known that mother’s milk is the best thing on earth for a baby, sometimes that little mouth needs more to feed on than mommy can provide. But how do you choose the right formula? Are you getting some lead-based brain death from China? Our sponsor of today’s blog suggests you check out this baby formula savings calculator and see how much money you could be saving bu buying generic formula instead of the name brand. You could be saving up to $600 a year per mouth. That’s a lot of diapers you could be buying.

So check this hot formula out:
Parent’s Choice Infant Formula

There’s a few dudes around our office who make sure that this site, and all of our other side sites within the Synthesis realm, continue to work seamlessly to deliver you the royal goods. They’re both doing good in this world, but I can imagine a darker time in their younger lives, all hopped up on 2-liters of Mountain Dew, their greedy little fingers leading the charge into those forbidden corners of the internet(s). Just who, on God’s earth, would create a worm virus and unleash it onto all the moms and Sunday school teachers on the world wide web? Better yet, who would don the white hat and kill that virus dead? If you own a company and operate a web site (and who doesn’t?), you better have a strong IT person. And this brings us to this blog page’s sponsor, IT Security.

If you’re looking for work on the internet, IT is a quickly growing trade, with pay on the rise. Ethical Hackers (or white hat hackers) are responsible for protecting web sites against invaders - imagine dudes with chain mail manning the battlements of a medieval castle an dropping boiling oil on invading armies - that would be you, basically). It’s a cool service, indeed. Ethical hackers are responsible for vulnerability assessment and general network security.
To find out more about Ethical Hacking, Role in IT Security, the Hacking Cycle and Training Modality, check these links out:

EC-Council
Ethical Hacking
Certified Ethical Hacker

EC Council’s online courses Security Fundamentals cover valuable areas such as Ethical Hacking, Penetration Testing (yow!), Computer Forensics? (hellos CSI!), Disaster Recovery (unlike New Orleans) and Secure Programming. Need skills? Click here. So stop messign aroudn on WOW and get the realsies.

Last week my girlfriend’s pet rat killed by her other, newer pet rat. It was pretty gnarly so I won’t go into the gory details here, but let’s just say it was one of the more graphic and disturbing scenes I’ve had to deal with. Even though we were understandably furious with her surviving rat, my girlfriend refused to get rid of it. Why? She loves animals and wouldn’t want any harm to come to her weird, sociopathic pet. I still referred to the little bastard as “snake food,” but she wouldn’t budge (just separate cages at all times from now on).  If one of her pets were to get lost, her search for rescue would know no ends. This brings me to this page’s sponsor, HomeAgain. Their organization has been responsible for helping rescue over half a million lost pets and this week, in support of the American Humane Association’s Be Kind To Animals Week, they are donating $1 to bringpetshome.com, a fundraising Web site specifically created to help shelter animals, every time someone registers their dog, cat or other pet (from 5/3/09 – 5/9/09).

They also want to bring identification awareness – do your pets have ID collars with your contact info, and are they guaranteed not to fall off or become obscured. Are they registered? Are you aware that when you buy things from bringpetshome.com a percentage of the money goes to animal shelters for much needed services like medical attention.  This is what HomeAgain claims. They’re banking on the fact that you’ll do anything to ensure the safety of your pet, and locate them if they ever run away. Their annual subscription fee includes microchipping, access to around the clock pet-recovery specialists and emergency medical, pet health insurance and more.

If you are worried about your animals more that you are about your pocket book, check into bringpetshome.com and the Home Again Web Site, or call 1-888-HomeAgain.

Considering that I have neither a home phone, any sort of cable television service or internet access (not counting occasionally stealing a weak signal from a neighbor), I figure it’s as good a time as any to talk about this blog page’s sponsor, Charter Cable and, more specifically, Charter’s Free Gift Card Sweepstakes and Charter’s Twitter page.

The Deal: Charter Cable is giving new and pre-existing customers a chance to win gift cards in this merry month of May. And there’s no obligation to buy. As Bill would say: “Seriously.”

Log on to www.charter.com/giftcards for a chance to win one of four weekly $1,000 gift cards, and be entered to win the $5,000 grand prize card. This contest is open to everybody - you don’t even need to be a Charter Cable subscriber, just click away unfettered by financial obligations! And in case you were wondering, it’s only two pages long, so no questionnaires and such, just straight up enter your info and submit. You can choose from stores like Best Buy, Sears, Macy’s, Home Depot and more(in $500 valuations or increments). HOWEVER, anyone who orders any Charter services online at charter.com gets automatically entered into the contest, plus up to $150 in gift cards. Pretty sweet deal. We think you should look into Charter’s Free Gift Card Sweepstakes

Charter bundles services such as cable, internet and telephone services, offering HD, high speed internet, and basically anything you need to feel the slightest bit tech savvy in our ever-changing world. And like every other tech savvy trend-jumper, Charter has their own Twitter page. In fact, you should Follow Charter on Twitter and keep up with the E-Jonses (and all their communications services offers).