“American Boy” featuring Kanye on Estelle’s Shine album is the summer kickoff song of 2008. Listen here!

office furniture in Bulgaria
office furniture in Bulgaria

I hold with the utmost contention that Nickelback is the indeed the lamest mainstream rock band of the last 25 years. Lamer than Creed, lamer than Poison, lamer than even Limp Bizkit. I’m listening to “Rockstar” right now, and I just can’t believe it. Is there no limit to Nickelback’s level of cheese? A sample of lyrics:

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that like to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I’ll have the quesadilla, ha, ha)

The popularity of this band simply baffles me. All of their songs reek. I’m not saying they’re bad guys—they do what they can for charity and all that jazz. But their music is just the most absurd melodramatic bullshit imaginable. All The Right Reasons 7x platinum? Dear God. It’s all too much…

Get out your moping shoes, Brit-rock sensations Coldplay have announced their North American touring plans for Summer and Fall of 2008. The tour, which shall kick off in Philadelphia at the end of June, will be in support of their upcoming fourth full length album, Viva La Vida (nee Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends), due out June 17th on Capitol Records. You can find ticket information here or here. The band will also play a few pre-tour dates, including London (June 16th, Brixton Academy) and New York (June 23rd, Madison Square Garden).

6/29 Philadelphia, PA Wachovia Center 5/16
7/2 Washington, DC Verizon Center 5/17
7/3 Hartford, CT XL Center 5/17
7/5 Detroit, MI The Palace of Auburn Hills 5/17
7/6 Cleveland, OH Quicken Loans Arena 5/17
7/8 St. Paul, MN Xcel Energy Center 5/17
7/9 Kansas City, MO Sprint Center 5/17
7/10 Oklahoma City, OK Ford Center 5/16
7/12 Phoenix, AZ Jobing.com Arena 5/17
7/19 Las Vegas, NV MGM Grand Garden Arena 5/17
7/21 Sacramento, CA ARCO Arena
7/24 San Jose, CA HP Pavilion
7/27 Pemberton, BC Pemberton Festival
7/29 Edmonton, AB Rexall Place
7/30 Calgary, AB Pengrowth Saddledome
8/1 Winnipeg, MB MTS Centre
8/3 Omaha, NE Qwest Center
8/4 Chicago, IL United Center
10/20 Montreal, QC Bell Centre
10/21 Ottawa, ON Scotiabank Place
10/26 East Rutherford, NJ Izod Center
10/29 Toronto, ON Air Canada Centre
10/30 Toronto, ON Air Canada Centre
11/3 Boston, MA TD Banknorth Garden
11/11 Atlanta, GA Philips Arena
11/18 Houston, TX Toyota Center
11/19 Dallas, TX American Airlines Center
11/21 Denver, CO Pepsi Center
11/22 Salt Lake City, UT Energy Solutions Arena

Benjamin Franklin invented the glass armonica in 1761 after being profoundly moved by the sounds of the glass harp. Little did he know that his instrument WAS THE DEVIL:

German musicologist Friedrich Rochlitz stated “the armonica excessively stimulates the nerves, plunges the player into a nagging depression and hence into a dark and melancholy mood that is apt method for slow self-annihilation. If you are suffering from any nervous disorder, you should not play it; if you are not yet ill you should not play it; if you are feeling melancholy you should not play it.”

The glass armonica’s sound is perceived by human ears differently than other instruments because its range is between 1,000 and 4,000 hertz. When sounds are below 4,000 hertz, the human brain compares “phase differences” between the left and right ears to triangulate the origin of the sound rather than comparing volumes. This causes hearing disorientation and a “not quite sure” feeling about where the sound is coming from.

See for yourself, BUT BE WARNED! YOU COULD GO INSANE!!!

Here’s one for all those ab-punkers who think we’re just foolin around with our announcement earlier today that seminal afro-punkers At The Drive-In will have a song featured on Guitar Hero IV:

I can already feel my hair getting frizzy.

Here’s the new Interpol music video for “Rest My Chemistry”. It’s on some other shit. Just watching it made me high.

If you totally tripped out on it and want to read more about the concept so that perhaps you, too, can someday make someone high off your art, please do so after the jump. (more…)