Scientists in the UK can now legally combine human and animal embryos. Manimals. Why? For the sake of finding cures for diseases like Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s.

From Times Online:

The Minister admitted that the Bill was not a promise that cures for diseases could be found. “It is an aspiration that it may.”

The main kinds of admixed embryo permitted by the Bill are “cytoplasmic hybrids” or “cybrids”, which are made by moving a human nucleus into an empty animal egg. These are genetically 99.9 per cent human. As well as true hybrids, it also allows chimeras that combine human and animal cells, and transgenic human embryos that include a little animal DNA.

Of course, they can’t really (legally) grow a mermaid or centaur or whatever weird manimal (yet). Scientists can only cultivate the embryos for 14 days, and it is illegal to transfer them into a human or animal womb. BUT, rules were made to be broken and chances are if they make it illegal, someone will do it. Mother nature, prepare to be f*cked with.

It’s been 5 days since GTA IV came out and Rockstar has already sold 6 million copies of the game, beating out Halo 3’s launch week. 4 million people bought it the day it came out, which happened to be the 16th anniversary of the LA Riots. The game has generated $390 million. Violent video games are AWESOME!!!!11

There was a huge drug bust at San Diego State today. Nearly 100 people arrested for selling drugs in “Operation Sudden Fall”. 75 of them were students, more than a few of them studying for a degree in criminal justice and homeland security. The DEA infiltrated seven frats, where students regularly bought coke from frequently enough for one of the Theta Chi bros to send out mass text messages to his “faithful” customers advertising a sale on cocaine.

Check out the confiscated items list: four pounds of cocaine, 50 pounds of marijuana and 350 ecstasy pills. Authorities also confiscated a shotgun, three semiautomatic pistols and $60,000.

DAMN! Kids these days!

I’m so sick of the disgustingly rich. It’s hard not to be bitter in this sucky economy… Jay-Z just signed a 10-year contract with Live Nation worth $150 mil: a chunk of stock, $5 million per year for “overhead,” $25 million for acquisitions and investments, $10 million an album (for a three-album deal), and $20 million for publishing, licensing, and other rights.

Madonna also signed a 10-year contract with Live Nation worth $120 mil: rumored terms include a signing bonus of about $18 million and a roughly $17 million advance for each of three albums. She also owes Warner Brothers another album plus a greatest hits CD. She’s also negotiating a 2-concert deal in Dubai that will pay $24 mil. If the concert is 90 minutes, that’s $133,333 A MINUTE. All I got to say is, FTS, how about slippin’ me a $50 just for posting this and giving you free press on our super cool blog site? That’ll cover my drinks for the weekend as I attempt to guzzle away my broke ass blues. Send it here:

Synthesis.net: Ms. Nickels

210 West 6th Street, Chico, CA 95928

K, thx! [du]Bai!

Here in rural Chico, we don’t have clever advertisements. We laugh at cute little innuendos on our billboards like “Want a quickie countertop replacement?” or “Get back in the kitchen… [bitch]“. Chico business owners typically don’t know what makes for effective advertising and more times than not, we’re told to apply the “logo-enlargement cream” to their ads. Like that’ll help. As my old friend P. Brown used to say, “Be the wiser advertiser!” so here’s some advertising that actually gets your attention:

Ah the irony! On the same day that their new earning report showed a 21% drop in quarterly earnings, widely attributed to a drop-off in customers, the Downtown Chico Starbucks, which I’ve been fiercely loyal to for the last five years, if not longer, lost me as a twice-daily customer on account of some stupid ass shit. For your edification, I’ll reproduce here the letter I wrote to Starbucks customer service department:

I’ve been going to the Starbucks in Downtown Chico every day, some times, two or three times a day, for the last five years, if not longer. It truly had become, to borrow the Starbucks parlance, my “third place”. For about the last year I’ve been ordering the exact same drink, every single time: three shots on ice in a venti cup. The baristas usually joke about it being a “ghetto latte” since it is cheaper than getting an iced latte but essentially the same thing once you put some cream in it. However, with all the signage in place saying things like “your drink should be perfect” etc, I really didn’t think it was a big deal. Today however, the manager of the store (who has served me the drink in question dozens of times) informed me that I was “stealing” from Starbucks by putting milk in my drink and made it clear that me and my business were no longer wanted, or needed, all in front of the numerous people waiting in line behind me This is unfortunate in many ways, not the least of which is the fact that, in my job as a writer for local, regional and national print and online publications, I have always made it a habit to talk about how much I love Starbucks, despite the hipness currently associated with corporate bashing. I have defended Starbucks in the face of criticism more times than I can count, but now I wish that I had chosen otherwise. If you want to bill me for all the milk I’ve “stolen” over the last 5 years of patronage my address is above.

Fuck it. Peets is better anyway.