George Washington was heavy.

too lazy to write a blog. stealing shit time. here are PC Magazine’s picks for 10 Wicked Awesome Webcomics. Here in California we don’t say “wicked awesome.” Instead, we say ‘hella.” Some of these are hella funny. Some are a miss. Here’s one of each.

more comics after the jump
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As you can tell from the front page of synthesis.net, we’re all up on El-P’s jock. We put him on the cover of our latest glossy mag, posted podcasts, and transcribed the interview so that you have all the El-P info you may ever want.

Well, we’re bringing you more…

Def Jux Brings The Mystery

WWW.DEFINITIVEJUX.NET

Maybe I don’t have the patience for decoding stuff like this, but God bless Definitive Jux for at least giving my brain a kick start this morning. They’ve posted a string of code (no, not like the shit you type to embed sparkley pictures of cartoon chix on your friends’ Myspace) on their web site, and if you do a hundred times better than I did and actually figure out what it means, you get a chance to win some shit from your favorite indie hip-hop label, like a $150 shopping spree from their store.

Meanwhile, check out some El-P goodies:

Listen to Smithereens from (I'll Sleep When You're Dead� (MP3)

Purchase (I'll Sleep When You're Dead� (with a bonus track) on iTunes

Watch El-P's (Smithereens� from I'll Sleep When You're Dead

El-P Live in London c/o Dazed Digital:

El-P Live in Boston c/o Boston.TV:

El-P iMeem and exclusive photos:

And tune in to Conan O' Brien on Monday, June 11th for even more live action from El-P!

Def Jux Decoder Contest info and El-P tour dates after the jump.
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What most video games are missing is an angry old man using his cane to bludgeon young folk. Luckily, the people at Paramount took this into account when they put together the promotional Web game for their upcoming film Stardust, based on the graphic novel by Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess. As the honorary guard of a magical wall, you must keep snot-nosed teenagers from passing through, by any means necessary. The fucking little bastards are tricky though, so be careful. Above is my highest score — so far.

Stardust is due out August 10th, and if you’re a nerd like I am, you’re probably pretty stoked. It stars Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Claire Danes and Ricky Gervais. Here’s the trailer:

Also, if you become the movie’s “friend” on MySpace, you could get the chance to win a trip to the film’s US or UK premier.

This classic sculpture where Diomedes gives Hercules a hand job while he’s being body-slammed was created by Vincenzo de’ Rossi in 1550. Rossi wanted to demonstrate that just because you’re a rich fucking bastard who drinks whiskey and reads books and wears glasses doesn’t mean you can’t spice up your life with a homo erotic table piece. This is just one of less kitschy items that enjoy being sold by Design Toscano, where you can find just about the most awful home decor you’ll ever see.

OMGWTF! Season 3 recap LOLOLZzzz.