And by adorable, I mean you’ll probably want to barf at some point, especially if you make it to the end where the dog that’s been completely skinned alive like blinks its eyes and tries to stand up but just ends up dying alone. Honorable mention goes to the scene of the bag of cats being boiled. Kind of makes you want to go to war with China and Russia as soon as possible. Vote for John McCain*

*OMG LIEK J/K. RON PAUL ‘08!!!!!!!!!11

This Article has to be one of the funnier things I’ve seen in the past few days. Way to be awesome again Cracked.com!

And they didn’t even include this guy.

Universal Music Group, the largest of the big three major labels, is forcing all of its bands to take down the full versions of songs on their myspace profiles and replace them with 90 second samplers.  From Wired:

Word on the grapevine is that this policy was enacted about six months ago, but that in many cases, artists were only recently notified.  Universal has limited the music by artists on all of its labels to posting only 90 second samples on MySpace and other third-party sites, unless they have a contract with Universal that allows them to stream the full song on-demand.  (Labels can also choose to add an audio tag to the beginning and end of the audio files rather than limiting songs to 90 seconds, but most are going with the 90-second sample option.) The policy applies to any site where music can be embedded, except for Universal’s own official sites, which still offer free on-demand streaming of certain complete songs.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Dumb. If you’re one of the lopdicks at UMG who thought this up, let’s talk in about 6 months and see how thing work out. That is, if you’re still around…

That basically all I’m capable of doing is waiting for people to send me links to silly YouTube videos like this one, of some redneck dudes jumping a Suzuki Samurai. I guess if I really cared about shit like this I’d say something to the effect of “RIP Evil Knievel” or whatever, but I’m into this sort of thing to tell you the truth. Stunts and the performing of them usually kind of piss me off, but its Monday and I don’t really want to exert the effort it would take to get pissed off about people wasting their time jumping cars and not reading books or searching for proof of the afterlife like I would usually. WOW RAMBLING!

Post of a video of a dog jacking off. I guess the real question is, if you’re a dog and can actually lick your own balls and assorted other accouterments, why bother using your hand, or I guess, paw? AH THE MYSTERIES OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM!

If you’re any bit like me, you don’t spend nearly enough time surfing the internets for amazing phenomena. Luckily we have amongst our staff one Daniel Taylor who illuminates us with his findings. From a blog of his last week I was introduced to both Encyclopedia Dramatica and omnomnomnom.com, both treasure troves of near-brilliance. Surfing the former today I was able to (inadvertently) catch up with all the memes and flash-in-the-pan ephemeral goodness that I had not been paying attention to, including Winnebago Man and Leroy Jenkins. It’s all contained in this handy song:

But none of what I found was as good as what my friend told me about last weekend. The Passion of Benny Hill. Internets.
Word of mouth - the true equalizer.