I’m so sick of the disgustingly rich. It’s hard not to be bitter in this sucky economy… Jay-Z just signed a 10-year contract with Live Nation worth $150 mil: a chunk of stock, $5 million per year for “overhead,” $25 million for acquisitions and investments, $10 million an album (for a three-album deal), and $20 million for publishing, licensing, and other rights.

Madonna also signed a 10-year contract with Live Nation worth $120 mil: rumored terms include a signing bonus of about $18 million and a roughly $17 million advance for each of three albums. She also owes Warner Brothers another album plus a greatest hits CD. She’s also negotiating a 2-concert deal in Dubai that will pay $24 mil. If the concert is 90 minutes, that’s $133,333 A MINUTE. All I got to say is, FTS, how about slippin’ me a $50 just for posting this and giving you free press on our super cool blog site? That’ll cover my drinks for the weekend as I attempt to guzzle away my broke ass blues. Send it here:

Synthesis.net: Ms. Nickels

210 West 6th Street, Chico, CA 95928

K, thx! [du]Bai!

Here in rural Chico, we don’t have clever advertisements. We laugh at cute little innuendos on our billboards like “Want a quickie countertop replacement?” or “Get back in the kitchen… [bitch]”. Chico business owners typically don’t know what makes for effective advertising and more times than not, we’re told to apply the “logo-enlargement cream” to their ads. Like that’ll help. As my old friend P. Brown used to say, “Be the wiser advertiser!” so here’s some advertising that actually gets your attention:

I was just snooping around MySpace, checkin’ everyone’s comments out to see what’s up, when I came across a flier promoting an N2Deep show at LaSalles, a local watering hole in Chico.

“WTF?” says I. “Why do I know that name?”

Then I YouTubed them. “Back to the Hotel” yes yes I remember. Now I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I actually wanna go to the show. And I actually want to interview Jay Tee. While some people may think the retro days of boy rap groups are wack, I’ll embrace this shit for a minute if only for the nostalgia. At least these cats are coming through my small-ass town finally! And not even to the Senator, but to LaSalles! Maybe I can even drink one of these with Jay Tee:

I love Bun B. I think he should have his own reality show and maybe live next door to the Kardashians. Here, in an AOL commissioned vid, he schools you on “trill”. Put that on mamas!

For more UGK vids, check out Synthesis exclusive SXSW 2008 content:

Interview with Cory Mo…

A soldier’s father posts a video of still photos from the barracks in Fort Bragg, North Carolina…

Yeah, sign me up for the army…

I’m not a vegetarian, but this is why I don’t really like going to zoos or animal parks…

A 30-year-old dolphin at Sea World has died after colliding with another dolphin while performing aerial tricks, the Orlando, Florida, amusement park said Monday.

The incident occurred about 4:30 p.m. Saturday at the Discovery Cove area of the park, according to a statement by Sea World spokeswoman Becca Bides.

The animals were in the center of the lagoon and not near guests, she said.

The dolphin who died was named Sharky. The other dolphin, Tyler, is being watched by veterinarians but appears to be fine, Bides said.

“This is an unfortunate, random incident,” Bides said in a written statement.

“While it is not unusual to have two animals performing aerial behaviors at the same time, we are reviewing the situation to ensure even such a random incident does not occur again.”

RIP, big fella.