The new site for LOLz… Manbabies

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

After acquiring both Idolator and Stereogum earlier this year, Buzznet, the social-media site partially owned by Universal Music Group has also now officially picked up one of my favorite music sites, and possibly the biggest misnomer in the history of the internet, Absolutepunk.net. From AP.net founder and ringleader Jason Tate’s blog:

I sat down with a variety of people to figure out the best course of action. Family members, business associates, fans, staff, friends, advisers – the works. I weighed all of my options … and after having met with everyone at the Buzznet offices … I knew I had found a match. From the board of the directors, to the CEO, to the secretary – I found a group that had similar visions as I did for the internet and for the music industry as a whole. I found a group that believed in me. They accepted the over-confident goofy kid in jeans, flip-flops, and a potty mouth. They listened to my goals, my dreams, my thoughts – and showed me how I could achieve them. Not only to continue to grow AP.net as I see fit (creative control, vision, voice, etc.) – but also to expand and work in other facets of the internet as my other ideas and creativity bursts forth. So, after weeks of soul searching – I realized it was time to shit or get off the pot. I decided to move forward with what may end up being one of the biggest decisions of my life. I decided to push the website into a direction where we have the potential to be massive. Where we have the potential to bring our unique content and voice to anyone who wants access to it.

Baller status.

I don’t know what’s better, the fact that today when you type in “Greatest Living American,” in google trends, it leads to Stephen Colbert, or the fact that the #1 search result is from GaySocialites.com.

He has been called “The Greatest Living American,” now Steve Colbert has won a webby! Colbert was recognized as the Person of the Year for his use of the Internet to connect with fans.

Oh Steven, so clean, manicured and well put together, you don’t have to hide your true sexual identity anymore. The Log Cabin Republicans will still have your back. Oh! How they’ll have your back…

Really though, the main thing I miss by not having cable television is Colbert’s show. Truly an inspired American in our late-night midst. Thank God I can still catch The Clobert Report on the other series of tubes.

NEWS UPDATE: Now, in an outside move to swipe Colbert’s “Greatest Living American” status, Brandon Wirtz is making the claim that he, in fact, is the “Greatest Living American.” More news as it develops.

I’m going to ride the coattails of Ryan’s post regarding Bill Bramanti’s ridiculously awesome PBR coffin with a little story of my own. Two years ago, I worked summers with my dad remodeling kitchens and bathrooms, building kitchen sets for an appliance showroom, doing general construction here and there (yes, girls can use power tools). One sticky hot afternoon, we made a dump run. I love going to the dump; it’s fun to throw things off the back of the truck and try to break as much as possible, plus you never know what other random shit you’ll find. This was a special day, for as we were backing the truck into the unloading spot, there on top of a heap of garbage, was a shiny, powder blue, cadillac of a coffin. I turned to my dad and asked in horror, “Y-y-you d-don’t think th-there’s someone IN THERE, DO YOU?” One of the guys working there heard me and laughed.

“Nah, that was a coffin that had been ordered for somebody, who ended up not liking the color. There’s a law against returning coffins so they’re just throwing it away,” he told me.

HOW WASTEFUL, right? Well, this company has the solution. Turn ‘em into couches! For a mere $3,500 you can have this Dodger blue beauty:

We at Coffincouches.com have the mindset of thinking “Green” and we know it is different but we strongly believe in recycling. Our niche happens to be 18 gauge steel coffins which we collected from local funeral homes primarily in Southern California. It is a health and safety law that funeral homes cannot resell used coffins to the general public. We approached funeral directors with the attitude of recycling. These coffins are not used for burial due to slight cosmetic inconsistencies. They are reconfigured and modified resulting in a finished product - a unique one a kind coffin couch. If you notice (although it may be too small) the six cast iron heavy duty legs are embossed with the universal biohazard insignia. The reason we utilized this sign was because safety was our utmost concern. If you are not aware, once a human body is placed in a coffin it is considered biohazard tissue. The legs have the embossed insignia for precautionary reasons in the event body fluids are exchanged on these coffins. Perhaps you would feel safe knowing that you are in designated biohazard scene! Ha!!

Here’s a little something Video Matt and I put together for you. It’s story time, kids! Today I’ll be reading a story by Sean Daley and Anthony Davis of Atmosphere that comes with the special edition of When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold. Enjoy!

For your copy of WLGYLYPTSG, simply click here and the iTunes store should open in a new window.

Turns out, people ate other people back in the day!

Scientists from England, Australia, and Papua New Guinea say that cannibalism is the most likely explanation for their discovery that genes protecting against brain diseases that can be contracted by eating contaminated flesh have long been spread throughout the world.

A growing body of evidence, such as piles of human bones with clear signs of human butchery, suggests cannibalism was widespread among ancient cultures. The discovery of this genetic resistance, which shows signs of having spread as a result of natural selection, supports the physical evidence for cannibalism, say the scientists.

“We don’t in fact know that all populations did select. The selection may have occurred during the evolution of modern humans before they spread around the world,” said Simon Mead, a co-author of the study from the Medical Research Center with University College, London.

Click here for the full report. If you had to eat a human, which ethnicity would you think tastes the best? I think I’d want to eat the flesh of someone from Latin descent. I bet that would be the tastiest meat.