Fred Thompson announced today that he is dropping out of the race for President, after finishing a distant 45345th in the South Carolina primary, behind Mickey Mouse, Ron Paul, Pope John Paul, and John Paul Jones among others. Lucky for us though, his campaign will forever be remembered for leaving us possibly the most annoying YouTube video EVAR. Seriously, try to watch the whole thing. I dare you. I was gonna make a joke about “Heath Ledger tried to watch it earlier today” but then I thought that might be in bad taste, and here at Synthesis, we don’t do bad taste.

In honor of Martin Luther King, Band You’ve Never Heard Of…OF THE DAY!!111 took a day off yesterday. However, this break turned out to be very fortuitous , as it allowed me to actually seek out a band I’d never heard of and investigate them personally, in the flesh, tewtally IRL. And that band is HEALTH.

If you happen to live in Los Angeles, and wear American Apparel V-necks and totally boss vintage ’80s fashion, you might have actually heard about HEALTH. They are signed to uber radcore label Lovepump United, home to such noisey spock bands as AIDS Wolf, Genghis Tron, etc. Though some bands would be content with mere intra-city fame, HEALTH are on a quest for world domination. They came through Synthesis’ hometown of Chico last night on their never ending tour schedule, and basically wrecked shop for an hour in the middle spot of a three-band bill on a fucking MONDAY night. From here, the band is seriously going to circle the country twice over the next few months, before heading to the UK in Spring. I would list the tourdates here, but its like two pages long. HEALTH are on some road warrior shit and I highly suggest checking them out when they inevitably come through your town. If nothing else, you can pick up some of their fucking sweet merch and feel like you’re on the cusp of fashion for a few moments before you remember you live in fucking Springfield, MO. DO IT!

Good thing I’m too broke to have any sort of stocks or mutual funds or any of that shit, as stock markets worldwide took a gigantic dump, with London’s FTSE registering its biggest single day losses since 9/11. US markets were closed for the Martin Luther King holiday, but its not looking too good for the immediate future. Rich people are probably bummed, but hey, look on the bright side: YOU’RE RICH!

On an unrelated side note, how dope is that fucking image? Thank you, anonymous someone out in computer world, for spending your time making that image and leaving it on Google for me to use. Your work does not go unappreciated!!111

I just got done watching our latest videos we just put up on our Synthesis Brand Channel on YouTube and, sorry to blow my own horn here, but we are O.S.S.!! (That’s “on some shit” for you n00bs.) Check it out, suckers…
MACWORLD 2008 CHAPTER 2

ADULT ENTERTAINMENT EXPO 2008 CHAPTER 1

We at Synthesis like to spoil EVERYTHING for you, so in honor of all the Snakes on a Plane style hype surrounding Cloverfield, (and because there simply aren’t enough youtube videos on this page…) we’re posting a video we made revealing the identity of the mysterious monster that kicks the shit out of New York. YOUR WELCOME.

Besides just making up fries, roasts, kisses and ticklers, the French also make badass AIDS ads with dudes fucking scorpions and bitches getting their boxed mowed by spiders.

France also has nuclear weapons, thus qualifying them to costar in the funniest YouTube clip I’ve seen since lunch: