And I thought everyone at Synthesis loved Pabst Blue Ribbon! Turns out, we don’t know shit, and obviously don’t care enough to take our adorations to the next level.

An Illinois man recently ordered a Pabst Blue Ribbon coffin for himself. The 67 year old isn’t planning on using it anytime soon, other than to fill it up with ice and Pabst for parties, but still, this is one of the more hardcore things I’ve ever heard of. Bill Bramanti: Synthesis salutes you!

Turns out, people ate other people back in the day!

Scientists from England, Australia, and Papua New Guinea say that cannibalism is the most likely explanation for their discovery that genes protecting against brain diseases that can be contracted by eating contaminated flesh have long been spread throughout the world.

A growing body of evidence, such as piles of human bones with clear signs of human butchery, suggests cannibalism was widespread among ancient cultures. The discovery of this genetic resistance, which shows signs of having spread as a result of natural selection, supports the physical evidence for cannibalism, say the scientists.

“We don’t in fact know that all populations did select. The selection may have occurred during the evolution of modern humans before they spread around the world,” said Simon Mead, a co-author of the study from the Medical Research Center with University College, London.

Click here for the full report. If you had to eat a human, which ethnicity would you think tastes the best? I think I’d want to eat the flesh of someone from Latin descent. I bet that would be the tastiest meat.

Former NBA star and socialite Dennis Rodman was arrested and charged with domestic violence after he allegedly struck a woman at a Los Angeles hotel.

In early 2003, Rodman was arrested on charges of domestic violence at his home in Newport Beach in Southern California’s Orange County for allegedly hitting his then-fiancee on her lip. His ex-wife Michelle Moyer said in her divorce filing that Rodman had a history of domestic violence. The star has had a difficult time coping with a recent divorce, and suffered from substance abuse, Rodman’s manager Steve Simon told the Los Angeles Times.

Patterns? DO NOT PIGEONHOLE DENNIS RODMAN!

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon jumped the broom yesterday. Place all bets on how long the marriage will last in the comments section. Winner will get a gold star sticker.

Here’s two of their best moments evar:

Roger Clemens’ reputation spirals further down the rabbit hole with his latest alleged affair surfacing. This time it’s the ex-wife of golfer John Daly, Paulette Dean Daly. But who cares about Clemens this time around; let’s talk some John Daly!

Enetertainer/magician/bat-shit-crazy human being David Blaine recently set a new world’s record for holding his breath for an astonishing 17 minutes 4 seconds underwater. The feat occurred on the set of Oprah in Chicago.

“I feel great,” the silver wetsuit-clad American said as he was pulled to the surface. “I actually started to doubt I was going to make it because I’d never done it with such a high heart rate.”

Blaine said he had managed it by staying in a meditative state which was helped by the stage lights reflecting off the sphere.

His assistants said during the event that his heart rate should have dropped far lower than it did.

Two years ago, he failed in an attempt to break the record for holding his breath underwater while simultaneously escaping from heavy chains.

Before the latest attempt inside a sphere filled with 1,800 gallons of water, Blaine spent 23 minutes inhaling pure oxygen, packing his lungs with extra oxygen just before the breathing tubes were removed.

“There’s no enhancement, no cheating,” he told Winfrey, adding that while he makes his living as a magician, his stunts were about pushing the limits of the human body.

This guy scared the shit out of me before, but knowing now that if I were to engage him physically, and choke him, that I’d have to labor for an excruciatingly long 17 minutes at least before he’d be unconscious, makes me wonder if he’s actually a real person. Who’s with me?