On the heels of last month’s incident in Minnesota, when a father shot and killed his 8-year-old son thinking he was a turkey, a Kentucky man shot and killed his 14-year-old son on Sunday….wait for it…thinking he was a turkey:

The father and son were turkey hunting. Police say Steven Schmidthuber got separated from his father, David, 30 minutes after they went into the woods. Police say the father thought his son was a turkey, so he fired at him.

I guess the moral of the story is, next time you’re thinking about taking your boy turkey hunting, maybe you ought to try fishing, or maybe bowling. How about a nice game of Big Buck Hunter?

There was a huge drug bust at San Diego State today. Nearly 100 people arrested for selling drugs in “Operation Sudden Fall”. 75 of them were students, more than a few of them studying for a degree in criminal justice and homeland security. The DEA infiltrated seven frats, where students regularly bought coke from frequently enough for one of the Theta Chi bros to send out mass text messages to his “faithful” customers advertising a sale on cocaine.

Check out the confiscated items list: four pounds of cocaine, 50 pounds of marijuana and 350 ecstasy pills. Authorities also confiscated a shotgun, three semiautomatic pistols and $60,000.

DAMN! Kids these days!

Last week I detailed my experience getting run out of Starbucks like a filthy vagrant despite my dedicated years of patronage. I got a response from the corporate office that said they had forwarded my e-mail to the district manager, who would be contacting me soon. Today I received said dispatch:

Daniel~
My name is Cheryl and I am the district manager for Starbucks Coffee Company in the Chico, Red Bluff and Susanville area. I am sorry not to have responded sooner, but did not get your email forwarded to me until my day off. I am currently looking into this and will be addressing it ASAP! Something that concerns me is that for an extended period your drink has been given a derogatory name, I’m ok with that if you call it that but not our partners, it is essentially a no water Iced Americano, which is a menu item just as a triple iced espresso is! I am very sorry for your experience and hope to be able to make it right for you, not only for your last experience but the continued experience! Please feel free to contact me and thank you so much for bringing this to our attention!

AH, VINDICATION! Even better was the fact that in the interim, I had already pinned a far lulzier version of my original e-mail for publication in the weekly edition of the Synthesis, which hit the streets this morning. It is reproduced below for your edification. More updates are sure to follow!!11 Stay tuned…

(more…)

Anybody up for a climb?

So this mom walks into Urban Outfitters to get her teenage son some clothes. She starts rifling through the titles of books they have for sale. I’ve seen ‘em… lots of Sex in the City, some sexual positions book, there’s one called Porn For Women that my mom actually bought me: it’s a picture book of hot men doing housework. (HELL YES!) Anyways, this mom is PISSED OFF that U.O. would sell such smut. Why? Why is she so uptight? Why can’t she see that it’s marketing clearly targeted to college kids and that she should just ignore the book section and move on with life? Perhaps because her name is Marci Milfs. No joke.

You can’t make this shit up…

Milfs was so appalled that she is preparing to file a complaint with the city of Lynnwood, and has already aired her frustrations to State Rep. Norma Smith, R-Clinton, and organizations including Morality in Media, Concerned Women of America and the American Family Association.

She also called Urban Outfitters’ corporate office in Philadelphia.

“They said they are not sex books or pornography books, but that they are art books and their goals are to support artists,” Milfs said.

Urban Outfitters declined to comment on Milfs’ concerns.

My desk is looking pretty retarded right now. I know, I know, you can’t say “retarded” any more, it’s insensitive, but honestly, my desk looks a bit slow…like it occasionally tries to eat its own shoulder when it gets excited. In its bloated stupor, my desk is currently keeping the location of Tim Fite’s new album, “Fair Ain’t Fair” a secret from me.

It’s kinda pissing me off, but much like a child with autism, you can’t get mad at the desk; it’s not it’s fault it’s being difficult. I still want to track the album down, though, because it’s being released tomorrow, and we were one of the sites that premiered a video clip from the album (in our case, the song “Rats & Rags”). I know I’ve been blogging about it incessantly, but honestly, if I didn’t have a good impression of this piece of folk-y, hip-hop-informed pop I wouldn’t be so enthusiastic. If only I could locate my copy…

Check out the Pop Matters Blog, they posted a cool write up about Fite and “Fair Ain’t Fair.” The album’s out tomorrow, 5/6 on Anti-.