Someone caught this slightly aggro moment on tape.

If Madonna went to Chico State (our local college) she’d probably frequent the bars Riley’s and Franky’s and take her shirt off a lot. I can see it now, the frat bros hollering, “YEAH! Chico! WOOO!!!” the sorority girls crying, “OMG, WHAT A BETCH!” and me googling that Urban Dictionary word I saw the other day… damn, what was it?

Barsexual: A heterosexual girl or woman who partakes in any sort of sexual or promiscuous activity with another female to get attention from males. This usually takes the form of making out, and to a lesser extent, grinding or dry humping with another female.

This is a common sight at bars (hence the word barsexual) but can also be found at any party, especially frat parties. [and now, Madonna concerts!]

The reason for such acts has baffled researchers for years, but it is thought that they seek attention [Madonna], free drinks, or are prudes too scared to get with men.

What was, earlier this year, the last ditch, pull-in-case-of-emergency contingency option of declaring bankrupcy has becoming the reality for the city of Vallejo, whose city council voted unanimously last night to file for Chapter 9 Bankruptcy Protection:

The council and several speakers said the city simply will have no money on July 1 and cannot tell its employees to come to work because there is no money to pay them. Councilwoman Stephanie Gomes, an ardent supporter of the city’s filing for bankruptcy, said, “I want to make sure the City Council is in charge of this city and not those who comprise 80 percent of our general fund.” Countering the assertion that bankruptcy would tarnish the city’s image, Gomes said, “Who wants to move to a city that can’t address its problems?” Mayor Osby Davis said bankruptcy would be “a long, hard, difficult process.” “We will rise out of this darkness and we will shine again,” Davis said.

Good luck brah! In a stroke of utter coincidence…Vallejo’s most famous export, N2Deep is playing here in Chico tonight. POUR SOME OUT FOR THE HOMIES BACK IN V-TOWN RELLIE! Maybe they could help kickstart the local economy by opening a “Back to the Hotel” themed hotel. Could be a real winnar!

The new site for LOLz… Manbabies

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

It’s been 5 days since GTA IV came out and Rockstar has already sold 6 million copies of the game, beating out Halo 3’s launch week. 4 million people bought it the day it came out, which happened to be the 16th anniversary of the LA Riots. The game has generated $390 million. Violent video games are AWESOME!!!!11

The Lord Our Righteousness Church is a tiny apocalyptic offshoot of the Seventh Day Adventist Church and tallies about 50 lunatics out in “Strong City,” New Mexico. These people follow a man named Wayne Bent, also known as Michael Travesser, who claims to be the messiah. The group believed that the world was coming to an end October 31st, 2007 (what a disappointing Halloween that must have been). Apparently Bent was informed by God himself in 2000 that he was indeed the second coming of Christ, the “Messiah.”

The LORC was documented in a film by National Geographic called Inside A Cult, in which Bent admitted that female members of the church lie naked with him, though without sex. Many followers have split over the years due to Bent’s apparent insistence on sexual matters regarding underage girls, such as sleeping with virgins. Bent has now been arrested on sex charges after two young girls and a boy were removed from the church last month. In response, the enlightened Wayne Bent had this to say:

“Jesus had not committed any crimes, so the authorities had to invent some crimes to crucify him over. It is the same for me also. I have committed no crimes, but many crimes are being imagined and concocted in the minds of men to try and kill me again. Men are so stupid, though, for they do not know that they cannot kill Spirit.”

And when questioned as to why women were required to lay naked with him, a more direct assertion: “It was God. God came down and told them to do it.” Sounds like Wayne Bent is a perfectly reasonable individual. Perhaps while he spends Christmas in jail this year his followers will send him that elusive sack of marbles he’s been searching for.