I get it. MJ was (is?) essentially the most iconic figure in music ever… I realize he made Thriller. But honestly, attempting suicide over the dude’s death?! I find it so incredibly strange that somewhere on this planet prior to his death, people were sitting in their houses blasting Off The Wall 24/7 while worshiping a hair doll of Jacko. Do these people realize that he hasn’t made a socially relevant record since 95’s History? Do they forget the dude was a drug addict and happened to get into a shit-ton of law suites involving touching little boy’s pee-pees? I understand the man is well above iconic status, but to some degree M.J. died over a decade ago. Ehh, it’s all the same in the end… here’s what E! had to say.

Up to 12 heartbroken followers of the star have taken their lives - including one Brit — said the MJJcommunity website.

The startling claim came as it was revealed a Jackson lookalike in Russia cut his wrists after the star’s death was announced.

Gary Taylor, who runs MJJcommunity.com, said: “I know there has been an increase, I now believe the figure is 12. I believe there may have been one Briton who has taken their life.

“It is a serious situation that these people are going through but Michael Jackson would never want this. He would want them to live.”

Russian fan Pável Talaláyev was found bleeding heavily at his home in Moscow just hours after it was announced that Jackson had died.

But an ambulance crew found him in time on Friday and managed to save his life.

One of the ambulance men said: “He was in a terrible state and kept on saying: ‘It’s all the same to me. I’m going to kill myself. It’s the worst tragedy of my life and I don’t want to live any more. I don’t know why you saved my life, I want to be with him’.”

On brighter news, check out Dead Michael Jackson Jokes to pretty much confirm your ticket to hell… it’s totally worth it.

I hopped on to Google Trends this morning expecting to see the usual flood of nonsensical keywords that almost always ends up in the top 10: the dead B-list celeb, the free chicken that Oprah is giving away, Axl Rose, etc. Instead, I was a bit perplexed about the fact that Fire David Letterman was the most searched term on the web at the moment. I immediately checked out some of the associated stories and came across a number of almost laughable pieces, many like this gem:

You can see the Letterman Bristol Palin and Sarah Palin jokes - the source of the Fire David Letterman controversy and firedavidletterman.com - and David Letteman’s apology by clicking the links at the bottom of this article.

The Fire David Letterman movement has unloaded a raucous debate. Letterman’s detractors are calling for his ouster and his supporters see the Fire David Letterman movement as a desperate attempt on the part of conservatives - and Sarah Palin - to regain political relevance.

While many consider the joke David Letterman told about Sarah Palin (where he essentially calls her a slut) is relatively harmless, almost everyone would agree that the joke he told about Bristol Palin getting “knocked up” by A-Rod was, at the very least, in very bad taste.

Originally, the “knocked up” joke was thought to be about 14-year-old Willow Palin because it was she who accompanied Sarah Palin to the Yankees game, which was the source material for the joke. And that undertandably unleashed a storm of controversy.

David Letterman issued an apology for the Bristol Palin/A-Rod “knocked up” joke, but clearly it wasn’t enough to get his detractors to call off their demand that he be fired.

I guess we do have to consider the fact that I did get this particular ’story’ from Associated Content of all places, but let’s boil this one down a bit, shall we? Critics, the majority of whom are hailing from the Neo-con Right, are calling out Mr. Letterman because of 2 things: the first being attacking Sarah Palin, the second being the joke about the daughter, a minor.

The first is utterly moronic. I’m not quite sure how the nation all laughed along when these jokes were called out about any of the girls from The Hills, Britney Spears or that damn Octomom, but somehow calling out someone who was arguably the worst choice for VP in the history of the universe (which not only placed a giant bulls eye on her, but the entire G.O.P.) is considered wrong.

The second argument has it’s roots in controversy, but can be laid to rest with 1 simple fact: the man is a comedian. This guy isn’t hired to be politically correct, he’s hired to get laughs. Personally, the more shocking and completely inappropriate he could have made it the better. The only problem I can see with the joke is it’s note vile enough. If it was up to me the words 9/11, Hitler, coat hanger, sodomy, Polly Klaas and reverse cowgirl would have been thrown in the mix… but hey, every single joke can’t be a grand slam, right?

What most logical people are realizing is that this is the Right’s last attempt to feel like they have control over something, seeing as no one has their back at the White House. The fact of the matter is that even if you engulf yourself in Rush Limbaugh’s demonic, Bill of Rights burning rhetoric, there’s no feasible chance you’ll sleep well at night knowing that a black man has power over your country, your money, your Congress or anything that you had previously connected your self worth with. Go check out the stupidity over at Fire David Letterman (.com, of course) to see the onslaught on censorship.

Bonus: What’s the best part about ass-raping 26 year olds?
There’s 20 of them!

Clip of behind the scenes footage from The Tonight Show can be seen HERE.

Synthesis is giving away iPods, CDs, DVDs and more, and all you need to do is visit our Sweeps page for a chance to collect your free shit. And everyone loves free shit. Except Osama bin Laden (and he’s soooooo yesterday’s news). Here’s what we gots:

See? shit is BLOWING UP!

I have a hairy beard. My name I Jeremy.

I hate it when I go to use the bathroom and someone else’s turd, pee-pee and toilet paper are still in the bowl. It’s a two-fold shame; not only do you have to suffer the lingering stink that has suffused the entire bathroom, but the site of someone else’s turd is enough to make you want to vomit. Plus, you have to flush before you begin your own evacuation because the mere though of someone else’s pee and poop splash somehow getting on you is the vilest of vile thoughts. It’s kind of like this:

“Thanks, but why?”