As opposed to Katy Perry’s breasts, Guitar Praise sucks. I can’t believe this shit hasn’t had a copyright infringement lawsuit yet.

Guitar Praise is a Guitar Hero knock off that features TOTALLY AWESOME Christian rock. Yea, that’s what every 10 year old boy want for Christmas, the spin off video game featuring “Our God is an AWESOME God”. From their website:

Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands! Shred those riffs or blast the bass…you add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: if you can’t keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music. Crank it up and try again ? you?ll soon be rockin’ with the best while praising the Lord! Order the second guitar and jam with a friend!

Apparently in the final encore level, you get to play as an alter boy in an exclusive 1 on 1 acoustic set with the priest in his apartment.

In other news, please watch the documentary Jesus Camp. It’s an extremely well edited film exploring the Evangelical Christian movement in America, why it’s a threat to the rest of us, and how sick and crazy they really are. Stream it RIGHT HERE for free, then pass the link off to a friend.

You remember the show Doug?
You remember the band The Beets on the show Doug?

In celebration of the Olympics starting in two days I bring you… Beer Olympics! Jimmy Clausen, Notre Dame quarterback, recently got himself in some hot water for partaking in the Beer Olympics when pictures of the games surfaced. Proof that Facebook really can come back to haunt you.

Basic rules & regulations:

Equipment: Keg (or 2), bat, ping pong balls, hard alcohol, shot glasses, a funnel, red cups, ten+ worthy drunkasses. Matching jerseys will definitely up your teams morale.

Games played, quickly & in order: Dizzy bat, beer pong, flip cup, quarters and the funnel (aka beer bong).

For some reason “The Thong Song” is the theme song of the opening ceremonies and the Baja Men are supposed to play as the winner stands on the podium.

The Rules, Events, and Ways to Become a Champion:

In the real Olympics (the one without the beer) there are multiple events with solo and/or team competitors all vying for medals in a variety of sports. You don’t have the time, energy, or alcohol tolerance to do any of this, so the best way to have the most fun while getting the largest number of competitors involved is the Team Relay event. Take your participants and split them in half, preferably in old school kickball pick-teams style, and be sure to choose your team wisely as they’ll have to be skilled in all areas of drinking and boast a very high alcohol tolerance, an uncanny ability to play drinking games, and most likely an embarrassing GPA. Now that you’ve got your team and forced them through the random drug testing, to make sure that they are inebriated, you can move on to the competition.

Ooooh! PRETTY! Look at those beautifully rendered designs, obscuring that brown sugary goodness!

Caffeinated for that little kick you’ve come to rely upon, decorated in the spirit of the Beijing games, these beautiful aluminum gems will surely be collector’s items (for pack rats with enviable storage units and nothing but time on their hands and opportunistic visions).

Eight Chinese artists (or graphic design teams) were paired up with eight on Ultra Records international musicians (Tiesto, Benny Benassi, Kaskade, Jes, Serge Devant, Lucas Prata, Cezar and Jay-J)  to create these bottles. The themes include “Global harmony,” “Beautiful World,” “Just Say Yeah” and other positive, singular, somewhat janky Chinese-to-English translated slogans.

This is somehow to represent the Coke Side of life, which I guess doesn’t involve labor disputes, subsequent murders and disappearances in Columbia or their water rights dealings in India, and conveniently omits the human rights abuses in Tibet and abroad caused by China, and China’s rife political corruption. But HEY! Those Coca Cola bottles sure look neat-o!

Sources from a very real network have recently documented the exciting new update from Blizzard Entertainment. Set to be an ‘industry changing revolution in hardcore gaming’, the new title, ‘World of World of Warcraft’, promises to go beyond all previously set standards. The game lets the user function as a character whom is actually playing ‘World of Warcraft’. Points are apparently not only set by how your character’s character does in the game, but real world factors, like the amount of Mountain Dew you can consume or how bad your avatar’s cholesterol is after binging on Pringles for 3 weeks strait.

‘Warcraft’ Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing ‘Warcraft’

The upcoming “Music” title for Wii has a lot of promise. Now, if they can license some music besides classic Nintendo tunes, Rock Band and Guitar Hero will be in serious trouble…

From BBC:

The company did unveil a Grand Theft Auto game in development for the DS console and a new Wii title, called Music, which sees gamers play more than 50 musical instruments by using the Wiimote motion-sensitive controller. Mr Iwata said the success of the Wii and the DS was proof of a new form of social interaction developing. He said: “I believe we must find more ways for players to feel engaged, different ways for them to be enriched. The overall experience from our products must be increased enthusiasm.”