In a ceremony this afternoon, this year’s recipient of the prestigious LEAST MATCHED OUTFIT OF ALL TIME EVAR award was announced. The winner was none other than myself, Daniel Taylor. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank those who made this unexpected honor possible: American Needle for my HELLA SAACK throwback Expos cap, the rock band Health for their fabulous American Apparel…uh…apparel, Trucker for the baby blues, and the Urban Outfitters in Lawrence, KS for the clown shoes, $14 on double clearance!!111

Marion Cotillard

There were seemingly a million mermaid dresses on the red carpet this year, but one stood out as the queen of them all. The stunning Marion Cotillard stole my heart with her uniquely eloquent dress (Jean Paul Gaultier) and charmingly humbled acceptance speech to boot:

I tried to find the acceptance speech on YouTube, but no luck. You’ll just have to rewind it on your TiVo. Nice job on the dress though, huh?

Welcome to fame, Diablo Cody. To your left you will see the Church of Scientology ushering forth newly brainwashed celebrities to reveal to them super secrets inside their highly guarded resort—err, I mean Church. To your right, that’s the good ol’ red carpet with cameras sparkling and reporters asking “Who are you wearing?!” Well? Who ARE you wearing, Diablo?

Not Stuart Weitzman.

After being taken to check out her “Oscar shoes”, Diablo Cody agreed to wear the retro-style silver heels with rose brooches affixed to the toe. Then she read this: “More than 1,800 Kwiat diamonds weighing 100 carats were used to make the roses, and 400 of them have been incorporated into the design of the shoe, which is worth over $1 million.”

Wait, what? Million dollar shoes? As if that wasn’t lavish enough, Stuart Weitzman designed a SECOND pair of shoes for her to feel more comfy in after she walked the red carpet: a ballerina flat with a similar diamond design. This is the first time the designer has ever created a changeover pair of shoes for the Oscars. So why did we see her accept the award in relatively boring looking golden flats?

Because no one told her the shoes were a million dollars, a sure sign that Weitzman was simply trying to ride her coattails / get her to “name drop” / pimp her. And in her blogging opinion, that ain’t cool!

It should be mentioned, however, that Mr. Weitzman was very gracious about it, saying a couple days before the show: “I would expect she probably won’t wear them. She made that very clear,” he said, adding, politely, “It’s Diablo’s day, and she can do whatever she wants. I’m just embarrassed that she wrote what she wrote.”

She gladly accepted the leopard-print flowy dress from Dior though. And I didn’t think it was cute. But that’s just me.

Lindsay Lohan recently recreated Marilyn Monroe’s famous”last sitting,” for an upcoming feature in New York magazine. Check those freckles! Girl looks like she should be modeling for Abby Winters. Now pardon me while I fap.

A co-worker linked me to Locher’s. BEST SHIRT COLLECTION EVER. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this.

I promised good ol’ Brit that I wouldn’t write anything mean about her ever again, because I felt sorry for her. But I still kind of laughed when I saw this 313merch shirt that spoofs an Iron Maiden album cover, Piece of Mind.