Just when you thought the story couldn’t smell more like old douche, you find out he was driving a $175,000 Lamborghini (ZOMG ’80s!) and that he didn’t even show up to his own trial:

The singer was stopped by police in June 2007 while driving a Lamborghini at 160km per hour down a street in Surrey, Canada and was found to have a blood alcohol content of more than .08.

The singer was not present in court for the news, with his lawyer Marvin Stern saying he was in Europe “for recording or producing music. “I’m not exactly sure (which).”

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL MAN!

A Georgia elementary school teacher was in for a surprise last Friday when 8-9 of her students, both boys and girls, planned to bind and stab her after being angered over the scolding of a fellow student for standing on a chair. The extent of the students’ planning and premeditated preparation is astonishing:

Police Chief Tony Tanner said the students apparently planned to knock the teacher unconscious with a glass paperweight, bind her with handcuffs and duct tape and then stab her with a broken steak knife.

The scheme involved a division of roles, Tanner said. One child’s job was to cover windows so no one could see outside, and another was supposed to clean up after the attack. Associated Press

It’s not clear how many of the students really knew of the intent to harm the teacher as some said they simply thought it was a joke. Nevertheless two students were arrested on juvenile charges, and a third arrest is expected. In the end the no one was harmed, but things could have been worse. Even if the students hadn’t intended to kill their teacher, who can really say how it all would’ve turned out. One thing’s for sure though, stories like this aren’t really going help fulfill any shortage of teachers in the US. Molding young minds seems to be more dangerous than ever.

-Handcuffs and Knife the children planned to use.

On the front page of YouTube, in the featured vids, there’s a still shot of a cute little bunny about to eat a banana. SO CUTE! I click on it. Because I want to watch a cute little bunny eat a banana.

AHHHHHHHH! It’s Rick Astley again!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! JUST when I dislodged it from my brain! Very funny, YouTube. PLAAAAAAYED OUUUUUT.

He’s back… Sacha Baron Cohen now takes on the character of gay Austrian “Bruno” in a new upcoming movie rumored to be titled Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt. Here, he’s at the Wichita airport in Kansas, making Midwesterners nervous:

It was enough to make the officials at the airport rewrite their policy on commercial filming inside the terminal. The film crew had gotten permission to tape a scene based on a “European man visiting America”. Things got scary when the actors start dancing in tight short shorts, kissing, and fighting in the airport. Security couldn’t find anything illegal about it but they told them to kick rocks anyway.

People trying to stave off heart disease spent $5.2 billion (that’s with a B) on Vytorin and Zetia, two drugs which trials have now shown, don’t really work:

Leading doctors urged a return to older, tried-and-true treatments for high cholesterol after hearing full results Sunday of a failed trial of Vytorin. Millions of Americans already take the drug or one of its components, Zetia. But doctors were stunned to learn that Vytorin failed to improve heart disease even though it worked as intended to reduce three key risk factors.

Shockingly <<SARCASM ALERT>> the makers of these drugs, Merck and Schering-Plough, dragged their feet for nearly two years before releasing the results of this study. They are now being investigated by a Congressional Probe as well as New York State Attorney General Andrew Cuomo:

“While these corporations profited, Americans were left in the dark,” Cuomo said in a written statement Sunday. “The millions who take this drug, taxpayers who subsidize its use through the Medicaid and Medicare programs, and Merck and Schering-Plough’s investors deserve to know why it took so long for the results to be made public. This new information underscores our concerns and advances our investigation, which we will pursue aggressively.”

Wow, drug companies aggressively marketing a drug that they know really doesn’t work in order to continue making billions for their shareholders? WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO FAMILIAR?????

Rikki Rockett, former Poison drummer, was served with an arrest warrant for alleged rape Monday night by LAPD’s finest at the LAX Airport.

The arrest warrant issued for Poison drummer Rikki Rockett stems from an incident that occurred on September 23, 2007 at a casino in Mississippi. According to cops Rockett was staying — not playing, music that is — at the Silver Star Hotel & Casino when he allegedly raped another female guest in his hotel room.

We’re told the woman did not report the alleged assault until several days later, when she came in to the Neshoba County Sheriffs department and filed a report. After determining there was probable cause for Rockett, real name Richard Ream, to be arrested, a warrant was issued. TMZ

Apparently Rockett was released from jail after Mississippi Law Enforcement chose not to extradite, and his whereabouts are currently unknown. Rockett and his representatives have yet to comment on the issue. I find it kind of odd that the Rockett would need to rape a girl. I’m not saying he didn’t, but I mean come on the guy was in freaking Poison and look at all that action Bret Michaels is getting on Rock of Love.