Clicked on the link on Drudge for “Primary Results” and I got this gem courtest of ABC News. Wow. Barack Obama checking in with 0% of the vote, followed closely by Hillary Clinton with 0% of the vote. BREAKING NEWS! Besides, its not like these primaries matter: everyone knows that Ron Paul is gonna be president any way. RON PAUL ‘08…Oh wait…

This is the most badass, entertaining, captivating thing I’ve seen on the Internet since… porn. That’s right. I said it. Not only is it PG, it’s scientific, and it’s educational. Um, sure, it might be a little cruel, but hey! It’s better than cock fights, dog fights, and bum fights! Here’s a user-submitted video because I don’t have the code to embed the official JBF vids… I highly recommend them, though.

Rev. Wright was too controversial so Presidential hopeful Barack Obama has found a new spiritual shepherd: Rev. X and the THE SPIRIT OF TRUTH!!! ARE YOU LAUGHING BEEYOTCH????

I posted a Nature Boy blog earlier, so might as well continue the trend for laughs. In this particular installment, Vader and Flair are gunning for Hogan, and Flair looks like he just stepped out of a Cure video. Yeah, man. These guys did lots of cocaine…

As we all know, Japanese people are weird. I want to visit Japan hecka bad, but this is reason number a hunderd that I’m kinda scared to actually do it. I can just imagine someone having horrible b.o., or cutting a huge fart, or some weird japanese dude in an overcoat rubbing up against me and popping a huge stiffy and not being able to get away from it until the next stop. But you never know, after the thousandth time being packed in to a subway car like a sardine, you might get “stuck” next to some hot dame and end up getting her preggers on “accident”. I’m not sayin’ I’m just sayin’.

Odell Thurman was released by the Cincinnati Bengals today for missing too much time from the team to be with his ailing grandmother, who eventually passed away from her illness - at least that’s what the press release says. In reality, he got released for being a druggie who generally doesn’t give a shit about football. I’m a big family guy, and I understand that family comes first, but I don’t feel bad for Thurman at ALL.

This is a guy who has missed the past TWO YEARS for violating the league’s substance abuse policy, along with the over $750,000 in salary that came along with it, so I have a hard time believing that he is a guy who’s got his priorities straight in any way. He “worked very hard to get back to where he could play football again”, which basically means acting like a normal human being and not being hooked on the fucking dope while he has one of the best jobs on the planet. Rough life. All you have to do is NOT be a druggie and you can live an incredible life of privilege, and he simply can’t figure it the fuck out. Then, after begging to get re-instated by the NFL he takes his sweet ass time getting back to practice after his grandmothers funeral.

Oh well, I’m sure he’ll get picked up by some other team that claims they have a “zero tolerance” player conduct policy, but needs talent at linebacker so bad they sign him and start him immediately, then act shocked and saddened when he gets suspended for being an idiot again. Shit, he’ll probably end up making even more loot then he would have before. YAY FOR THE NFL!!! They really showed him!!!!