Am I the only one who thinks Commanding General of the Multi-National force in Iraq General David Petraeus shares more than a passing likeness with Saturday Night Live star Dana Carvey? The chin. The cheekbones. The overall facial structure. The witty sense of humor (i.e, Wayne’s World; belief that we can win in Iraq).

I don’t know how to describe this, but it does explain why people in Japan have seizures.

Just when you thought, “Hey, isn’t it about time for a rapper to release another energy drink?” Lil Jon shakes the suburban-white-kid to the core with Little Jonathan wine. [WAAAT?!]

“I’m not no `drink wine every day’ kind of dude,” he said in a telephone interview. “I’m not like an expert, so don’t ask me no questions … I just like the taste.”[OKAAAAAY!]

“My full name is Jonathan,” the Atlanta-based artist said. “The wine is more nature: I wanted to not just have a direct connection, but make it just a little bit more upscale than regular ‘Lil Jon.’ … This is not no ghetto Boone’s Farm; this is some real wine.” [YAAAAYEAH!]

Hm… he knows nothing about wine, and yet he can assure us it’s not Boone’s (who’s website is from, like, 1995). Synthesis has some friends at BevMo that are going to hook it up. Stay tuned for reviews, straight from my pimp cup! The more I think about Lil Jon’s ventures, the more it makes sense to me. College kids are going to go crazy for this stuff. Carlo Rossi ain’t no rapper!

If this thing kicked sand in my face, I’d light it on fire.

*Mascot vs Spring Breakers*

So in 1983 John McCain voted against making Martin Luther King day a National Holiday. And after that vote he decided to find
out what the big deal was with this guy, unfortunately he was 47 years old!! his excuse, “I had not been involved in the issue”. How are you not involved in the issue? Aren’t we all involved in this issue?, I believe he meant to say

“I didn’t give a shit, then everyone was like, do you know the impact of Martin Luther King’s life on civil rights in this Country?, Then I was like damnnn, this guys bad ass, why didn’t anyone say anything? my bad, vote for me please”

Continuing our coverage of turtles partaking in HILARIOUS Human vices, we bring you TURTLES BOINKING.

Listen to them knock boots, er, shells. And the Noises at the end? Anyone else fighting the urge to excuse yourself and, uh, “take care of business?”

Thanks MusicismyBoyfriend Blog, that shit is tight. TURTLE POWER!