Hi, remember me? I missed you nerds! Anyway, I give you the next trendiest accessory for your car:

I bet if you made a “Hello Titty” one that looked like Hello Kitty, you’d make millions in Japan. OH! and you probably already know this, but if you put “&fmt=18″ at the end of any YouTube video’s URL, you can watch it in better resolution. Which is what I did with this video already. <3

In our continuing series of People Who I Look Like, I present today’s uncanny resemblance of myself to former Big Leaguer Bryn Smith. On a related note: Montreal Expos’ late ’80s jerseys and hats. Great uniform or Greatest Uniform?

Freeman, who is still hospitalized for the epic car crash he was in, is now seeking divorce from his wife of 24 years. I wonder if this has anything to do with Demaris Meyer, the mystery girl that was riding shotgun in Freeman’s car at the time of the accident.

A spokesman for Freeman - who is in hospital recovering from a broken arm, a broken elbow and minor shoulder damage - told Access Hollywood he is seeking a divorce from his wife, costumer Myrna Colley-Lee.

“(They) are involved in a divorce action,” the actor’s Mississippi-based attorney and business partner Bill Luckett said.

“And for legal and practical purposes, (Freeman and Colley-Lee) have been separated since December of 2007.”

The mystery woman in Freeman’s car at the time it rolled has been identified as Demaris Meyer, a friend of Freeman’s.

The jaws of life were required to cut both passengers from the wreckage when the car swerved off the road and rolled end-over-end on Sunday night, on a highway near a home Freeman has in Charleston, Mississippi.

This is kind of getting messed up. First the poor guy is in some horrific car crash, and then he makes what we can only assume is a slit second decision and drops this bomb on his wife. Granted, they were separated since last December, but it’s not too much of a coincidence the 2 events happened one after another.  I’m kinda confused about it, so I’ll let Dr. Seuss do my talking for me…

So I got back from Reggae Rising 2008 (previously Reggae On The River) on Monday night and I barely live to tell my adventures! Took what we were told was a “shortcut” from Chico to Garberville, California. The 36 is the most treacherous route I have ever taken in my life. After the four + hours of driving around windy curves, almost crashing during blind turns and no lines in the middle of the road we came down the hill into Garberville and the blew the transmission. F the Ford Taurus.

Got towed only five miles because I don’t have some kind of premium AAA card. Randomly met the nicest, most non-creepy guy ever on the side of the road who took us and ALL of our stuff to the festival in exchange for some herb. Dropped us off inside the festie with our huge pile of camping gear where I managed to talk some recycling dudes into putting all our stuff in their truck and hauling us to our friends site for a warm Coors in a water bottle.

Met a man named “Prophet Mark” who decided he would find some local tweaker for us to fix the tranny. BAD IDEA. The guy had no tools or teeth. Went to the shows and had fun anyways and decided to leave the car on the side of the road. Luckily no one works in Humboldt during Reggae so we weren’t towed. Some asshole stole our cooler with all our food and our table but it was cool because we camped with the BBQ King.

UB40 disappointed me because the singer wasn’t let into the country. They had a replacement who wasn’t nearly as good and were pretty cheesy with terrible facial expressions and coordinated dance moves. I have to say, Junior Reid killed it. Black Uhuru reunited and played a short set with Sly & Robbie. Don Carlos may be old but he can still bust out the hits. He looked fly in a red leather jacket and the gnarliest beard of my life. Every dancehall artist had serious swagger with full silk suits and Mr. Vegas threw down some mad lyrical skills and hyped up the crowd despite the heat. Collie Buddz performed for his second year, with a band this time, and his song “Blind To You” had everyone going crazy. His “riddims” were off the hook as he blends hip-hop and dancehall. Sizzla played every song I wanted to hear and his set was super high energy. He is Jamaican dancehall. I’ve always loved Turbulence’s vocal style and he was definitely shown tons of love from the ladies. There are a few videos up on YouTube already so keep checking back for more!

Took our essentials home and left the rest for dead because we had to carry everything to the bus. Took the bus and found our car, which no one would work on until the next week. Had it towed, hopefully, to some dealership 60 miles away and convinced my boy’s mom to come from Berkeley to Garberville and then drive us to Chico. Got stung by something weird and my foot is double the size of my other one so I had to get a shot and it royally sucked. I felt incredibly dirty and tired by the time we got home and found out my hot water doesn’t work so I couldn’t shower. I am now a dirty hippie trying to sit in the sink and wash my feet. Ew. It was still amazing and I had a blast floating down the river all day on the “Mega Station” fully equipped with two coolers, couches and little docks. By far the craziest trip I’ve ever been on but I can’t wait for next year!

Synthesis has seen its fair share of interns. They roll in and out like kegs on back to school week. But every now and then, we’ll hire one that passes this test.

Synthesis Heuristic Intern Test (also known as the SHITs)

In celebration of the Olympics starting in two days I bring you… Beer Olympics! Jimmy Clausen, Notre Dame quarterback, recently got himself in some hot water for partaking in the Beer Olympics when pictures of the games surfaced. Proof that Facebook really can come back to haunt you.

Basic rules & regulations:

Equipment: Keg (or 2), bat, ping pong balls, hard alcohol, shot glasses, a funnel, red cups, ten+ worthy drunkasses. Matching jerseys will definitely up your teams morale.

Games played, quickly & in order: Dizzy bat, beer pong, flip cup, quarters and the funnel (aka beer bong).

For some reason “The Thong Song” is the theme song of the opening ceremonies and the Baja Men are supposed to play as the winner stands on the podium.

The Rules, Events, and Ways to Become a Champion:

In the real Olympics (the one without the beer) there are multiple events with solo and/or team competitors all vying for medals in a variety of sports. You don’t have the time, energy, or alcohol tolerance to do any of this, so the best way to have the most fun while getting the largest number of competitors involved is the Team Relay event. Take your participants and split them in half, preferably in old school kickball pick-teams style, and be sure to choose your team wisely as they’ll have to be skilled in all areas of drinking and boast a very high alcohol tolerance, an uncanny ability to play drinking games, and most likely an embarrassing GPA. Now that you’ve got your team and forced them through the random drug testing, to make sure that they are inebriated, you can move on to the competition.