I had to kick a she-bum out of my backyard this morning for attempting to hijack our recycling. And no, our yard is not open to the alley; she strolled right on through the back gate and right up to the house to hunt for bottles and cans.

Upon being caught red-handed, the 40 year old (looking more like 60) derelict responded, “The girl and guy told me I could take them. They said I could get them whenever I wanted. Does she still live here?” Hmmm… Last time I checked my roommates don’t give filthy street urchins open invitations to scavenge our home. But what? What is that you say?

“Why would I lie?”

Meaning, why wouldn’t I believe you? Oh I don’t know. Maybe because you’re a squalid and contemptible vagabond with no teeth and streaks of black grease all over your face.

Have a nice day! Come back soon!

BUMS: Part 1

A new study by the always reliable Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening. I do believe the majority of this research was conducted in Chico, CA.

I caught an amazing show in Chico last night. Three Portland bands played Cafe Coda. There were no local support acts, so the show wasn’t very well attended, but this didn’t stop Nick Jaina, Weinland and Norfolk & Western from putting their hearts into it and digging into their strings, horns, drums and woodwinds. Nick Jaina, playing as a seven-piece, stole the show….for me, my girlfriend, and three or four other people who were in there not working or playing in the band. Then Weinland tore it up as well.

Weinland had stayed at my house last time they were through Chico and shot a bit of video. I’m not much for sports, but drinking games? Solid. Here my room mate Paul Valadon explains to touring band Weinland (nee John Weinland) the rules of Putt-Putt Drink-Drink.

Be sure to check out http://www.myspace.com/johnweinland, as they will be on tour for the next seven weeks.

As part of our continuing series of interviews and acoustic sessions filmed live at Synthesis Weekly Managing Editor Ryan Prado’s apartment above the historic Senator Theater in scenic Downtown Chico, we caught up with crazy Canadian Rody Walker, frontman for Protest the Hero and sat him down for a rather humorous song, above, and interview below.

Coming up shortly, as fast as Video Matt’s little fingers can edit will be similar sessions with MxPx and The Color Fred. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to stay abreast of these updates as they happen. OMG A BREAST!!!! GET IT????////

STOP THE F*CKING PRESSES!!!!!!!!!!111 WHY WASN’T I TOLD ABOUT THIS?

AntiPoleez is a hard lozenge type candy. It was designed by a Switzerland confectionary manufacturer who’s been in business for over 80 years. AntiPoleez is intended for use by people who absolutely need their breath smelling fresh after consumption of alcohol, tobacco and bad breath producing foods.

You had a few drinks and don’t want others to know you did? Your spouse hates smell of cigarettes in your breath? You just had a tuna sandwich and were called to an unexpected meeting with your boss? AntiPoleez starts working immediately on completely eliminating the unwanted odor and will solve your problem in less then a minute. It is superior to any other breath freshener or gum because it will not leave you smelling like a fruit and it will work until the next consumption of the odor producing substance.

We’re going to try to review this. Stay tuned for footage.

Not that this is necessarily a broad scoped piece of news, but nevertheless, I feel like trying to stack up some sort of credibility today. My apartment, in the Tower of the Senator Theatre in lovely Chico, CA, will once again play host to a slew of acoustic sets by touring bands. Tonight’s lineup will consist of OG Tooth and Nail punks MXPX, Vagrant Records badasses Protest The Hero, all followed by a set by The Color Fred.

For a taste of what the fuck I’m talking about, check out last week’s acoustic set and interview with Armor For Sleep, as well as the interview with Metro Station.

I’ve always wanted to run my own venue… And not pay the bands SHIT. My dreams have come true!