[With heavy hearts we bring you the last installment of Emilie Clark's Bibliophile column.]

You Say Goodbye, I Say, “Get Lost, I’m Reading”

So, I contemplated a lot of different ways to write this last column. I’ve never been especially good at goodbyes. When everyone else was crying at high school graduation, I was making stupid jokes and eyeing the exit. Part of that was because I hated high school so much, but there’s also a part of me that is unable to fully recognize that a change is coming, so that I always end up at the other side of it a little confused and not fully prepared. I guess this is just the first time I’ve ever been forced to work it out in writing.
Getting the chance to write this column was one of the five best things to happen to me ever. It not only gave me a chance to write off book purchases on my taxes, and think about something other than pastries all day, but it put me in contact with a lot of other book-reading squares out there. Sure, I only ever really got e-mails when I disparaged the Beats, but it’s exponentially better than the amount of e-mail I was getting before (if you discount the ones offering to enlarge my penis).
So anyway, goodbyes are for suckers. And it’s not what they’re paying me the big bucks to do. You all are gonna need something to read while I’m in the City of Roses, and I’m not sure what my successor has planned for you. So here are some of the best things I read this year, which you should probably read this month, before school comes and takes away all your free time.

The Abstinence Teacher, by Tom Perotta: You might remember my review of this book, but if not, then know that it not only focuses on the national debate regarding abstinence education, but also features a pretty awkward love story. When you’re done with it, read Little Children, also by Perotta.

Black Hole, by Charles Burns: I was lucky enough to do an interview with Mr. Burns earlier this year. He may not know how to text message, but he remembers what high was like perfectly.

The Brief, Wondrous Life, Of Oscar Wao, by Junot Diaz: This guy has a pretty good handle on being a teenager as well. Plus the way he writes will pick you up and drop you right down in New Jersey. If you don’t want to read it, don’t fret; I’d bet money that someone is working on a movie adaptation.

The Kid, by Dan Savage: Do not say a word about gay adoption before you read this book. There isn’t much in the way of facts and figures to influence your decision, but if you don’t come away convinced that not only should Dan Savage be allowed to raise kids, but that he should probably raise your kids, then I’ll be mighty surprised.
(more…)

This is a pretty cool Web site that lets users exchange and trade books. I know I have TONS of books taking up space in my room that I won’t ever read again and just create even more clutter. This is the perfect solution if you like reading! Which you should if you’re reading our amazing blog site!

PLUS the name is good: Book Mooch. I enjoy mooching consistently, especially food and drinks, but books are good too! Give books away and get books you want = simple. It’s easy to become a member and FREE. And it’s fun to get stuff in the mail! There’s only 4 easy steps:

1) Type in the books you want to give away.

2) Receive requests from other people for your books.

3) Mail your books and get points!

4) Ask for books from others using your points.

Snuff
Chuck Palahniuk
Doubleday

Last week I was really taken by Mark Morford’s “Notes & Errata” column, which discussed the Internet’s effect on declining reading rates. According to Morford — although this is not really an original idea — the format of information on the Internet has, perhaps irreparably, hindered our attention span, making us unable to handle the longer format of books. This is why independent bookstores are closing and people are getting dumber, even as they think they’re getting smarter.
It’s not all neo-Luddite alarmism, though Morford says, “I am moderately sure a brain thusly amped on the wicked energy drink of the Web can, through honest time spent, through forcibly yanking the Ethernet cable out of your cerebral cortex, be re-rewired, untrained, readdicted to the deeper juice.” This can happen, as you might imagine, by turning the computer off and tucking into a sufficiently difficult book. A book that will force you to slow down your attention span and to think more deeply about a subject than might be comfortable.
Snuff is not that book.
In fact, the reason why Palahniuk is so intensely popular is that he writes in bite-sized chunks of information, just like the Internet. This style is what made Fight Club feel so revolutionary when it was published in 1996. The idea of combining a narrative with loosely related bits and pieces of facts (like how to make a bomb) made the book feel more relevant and in-line with a culture that was gaining speed at a rate no one could measure. But now, 12 years later, this style of writing is becoming a bit tired. Practically narcoleptic.

(more…)

Ryan Adams, IMO the greatest songwriter of ALL FUCKING TIME, is gonna be putting out a book of poetry next year that I probably won’t buy because most poetry sucks, but whatever:

EMO rocker Ryan Adams has more to say than can be conveyed in one of his crooning songs or in one of his lengthy missives to Gawker.com. Page Six hears Adams has signed with indie Brooklyn house Akashic Books to publish his still-untitled collection of prose. “They just signed the contract,” said our source, “and they plan to release it in 2009.” A rep for Adams confirmed the deal, but wouldn’t comment on a working title or when it would hit the shelves.

In b4 summer of 69

This is kind of an interesting read if you’re bored and curious about what it’s like to live in a Canadian crack house. Here’s a passage to get you hooked…

After multiple failed attempts at holding down a job, my brother took it upon himself to start selling crack to make money off of the situation. It’s difficult watching your mother slowly kill herself, but it’s even more difficult to watch your brother sell her death. Part of me hates him for it, but at least he’s using the money to pay for things like bills and school.

The things that go on here range from terrifying to hilarious. There are also strange little perks to living in a house like this, which most people are unaware of. So ask away. I’m not shy about the subject and I know it’s something most people are curious about.

The girl happily discusses why she doesn’t live with her clean dad, disgusting tales of maggoty ham, the difference between freebased cocaine and crack, and why the cops never do anything about her sitch. She writes pretty well, maybe we should invite her to blog here for us. She’ll probably have a book out and be on Oprah someday.

The Chris Farley Show is the official biography of one of the most iconic comedian and actor in history. It was written by Chris’s older brother Tom Farley Jr. who manages the Chris Farley foundation. It touches on every part of his life, even his struggle with drugs and his horrific death that affected millions.

Farley was known as the overweight, sweaty motivational speaker and king of comedy. Some of his memorable skits include being the irresistible Chippendales stripper on Saturday Night Live and playing the underdog hero, Tommy Callahan, in the film Tommy Boy. Farley’s life goal was to bring laughter into everyones life and he excelled at his passion.

The book remembers Chris Farley through friends and relatives. It shows a different, more sensitive side of the funny man as well as his love for comedy. The book features over 100 new interviews with other people in the business like David Spade, Lorne Michaels, Chris Rock, Alec Baldwin, Janeane Garofalo and more.

Farley lived to make people laugh and his sudden death was a tragedy around the world. It is a tell-all story that includes a portrait of his family trapped by his drug addiction and the difficulty his father went through to bury his son. He was eventually torn apart by his inner most thoughts but he needs to be remembered as an amazing person and extremely talented comedian. There will never be another like him and he will never be forgotten.

It is on the bestseller list so go pick up a copy! Man, I loved that guy .. RIP