I am trying not to just phone this one in, because this band hails from Quebec, and if there’s anything more fierce and brutal than a Canadian, it’s a French-Canadian, and I don’t want these guys to track me down and beat the living end out of me. Luckily, by the sound of their jangle-pop, I think I can take them. Fuck it, I’m just phoning this one in then.

After The Weather has some pretty definite Britpop/psychedelic and frenetic Pacific Northwest influences, a not unpleasantly awkward-voiced singer and a shit ton of energy. I’m hearing Television vs. Hot Hot Heat, debating over whether The Arcade Fire holds up after repeated listens. Their name that is more clever upon further inspection (i.e., reading their bio): “After The Weather is a phrase that has no meaning without the context of television news.” Nice.

I would totally do recreational drugs with these guys if one of my bands played a show with them. Then we’d talk about how shamefully underrated the Stone Roses were, how the newer Digitech Whammy pedals aren’t as cool as the old ones, then we’d go out and try and pick up girls and probably fail. Shit, when you all coming to California? I just mapped out our evening.

Instrumentation
Matthew Hills - Vocals, Electric Guitar, Acoustic Guitar
Rob Helsten - Bass Guitar, Vocals
Trevor Zaavedra - Drums

Discography
Self Titled EP - After The Weather

You can check them out on their space HERE.

And if you’re in the Montreal, Quebec area, check them out live:

Apr 5 2008 10:00P Bistro de Paris Montréal, Quebec
Apr 18 2008 8:00P Barfly Montreal, Quebec
May 2 2008 8:00P 3 Minots Montreal, Quebec
May 9 2008 9:00P Pub Saint-Ciboire Montreal, Quebec
May 20 2008 8:00P Bar St. Laurent 2 Montreal, Quebec
Jun 15 2008 8:00P Café Chaos Montreal, Quebec

I don’t usually do the Band of the Day thing, but today I’m going to hijack it. Because I already love Flobots…

Hailing from Denver, Colorado, the group consists of:

Jonny 5 - Emcee, Vocals
Brer Rabbit - Emcee, Vocals
Andy Guerrero - Guitar, Vocals
Mackenzie Roberts - Viola, Vocals
Jesse Walker - Bass
Kenny Ortiz - Drums
Joe Ferrone - Trumpet

… who all made a killer album in 2007 called Fight With Tools, and were recently signed to Universal Republic Records. Check out the songs on their MySpace site, especially their hit “Handlebars” which recently made it’s debut on LA’s KROQ. Their sound (not their message) is like Eminem meets Cake and it’ll have you repeating the last four syllables of everything you say. Everything you say. Everything you say. (Ok, I realize that was 5 syllables.) Catchy beats, interesting lyrics, and a message of hope for a “fully engaged, non-violent society” equals ice cream to my ears. Here’s their website. Check ‘em out, add a song to your MySpace page and don’t forget to sing along.

You know when you see a band where each member reps an 80-pound pedal board, and then they don’t use any of em? Stupid, huh? In the case of Portland’s The Pink Snowflakes, these fellas use their 80-pounds every which way but loose.

With influences that scream psychedelic, The Pink Snowflakes craft music that careens down a sound scape both divine and dreamy. In a recent performance at Portland’s Ash Street Saloon, I watched this quartet blow the room down with full-stacks and a big old fucking kick drum. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the heavy Syd Barret element that runs throughout the Snowflakes veins, not to mention the tasteful helping of Butthole Surfers. If you’re going to be up north at all in the next couple months, check these guys out.

To The Franks:

Thank you. Seriously. It’s been a busy day, and I’ve been buried behind on work since returning from SXSW. I thought I was going to have to rummage through countless bands in search of today’s Band You’ve Never Heard of Band of the Day, but you were the first band I checked out, and about halfway through “Annie Who,” I was happy that my search was over. Sometimes the universe just aligns like that.

You guys rock, even though the first paragraph of your bio makes you sound like the modern day Breakfast Club:

The loner (vocals/guitar), the cool kid (bass) and the class clown (guitar) found a drummer on the Internet and after a few name changes, they formed the Franks.

Think the heyday of ’90s Britpop with a stauncher guitar attack. One song, “Loose Reckoning,” was sort of reminiscent of The Catherine Wheel. “The Seven Seas” builds from rollicking acoustic guitars to full-bore anthemic bliss. Their forthcoming album, Suzie Can’t Spell, is due out sometime this year. Unfortunately, it would appear that their previous EP, Shout Across the Houses, is no longer available at present time. Bummer. You’re just going to have to buy their merch and keep a look out for the album.

So yeah, I’m still playing catch-up from the week of Sodom & Gomorrah music debauchery known as SXSW. One of the things that pretty much none of us got around to was checking in on our hopeful SonicBids artists, crossing their fingers for a little press from the good old Synthesis Blog. We got a lot of overdue artists waiting for a response from us, so in an effort to get back to everyone I will be cranking out the reviews like whoa. We’ll start with a dozen for today.

Usually, I spend a good 20 - 30 minutes with each artist I’m writing about before even beginning to express my feelings about their music. But there’s really no time for that right now, and besides, judging a book by it’s cover is the NEW JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY, so this is all real-time reviews on the first listen. If I fuck up your or your friend’s band it just goes to show that you should be doing better to impress me. ME. First listen, that’s all you usually get anyway. With that caveat, on to the show:

Will Hanza sounds like he was really bummed when Jeff Buckley died. There’s a lot of parts in his songs, they go a lot of different directions, but it’s mostly powerful, sonic rock with tentative valleys. This shit’s got some subtlety and nuance, I will have to go back and listen some more. Great band to start with. I suggest you look more into them as well.

Built By Snow first sounded like Replacements meets Jimmy Eat World meets other crappy melodic nu-alt rock bullshit. VideoMatt would like these guys more than me. Their recording sounds a little rough, but I’m already warming up to Built By Snow. And yes, I do understand what I just did there. Warming to Snow? Brilliant, yes? Nah, these guys aren’t half bad. They’re like 1/3 bad.

Lachi is not really pissing me off, but she’s not getting me pumped either. Jazzy-alternative rock. Think Regina Spektor imagining herself as a ’60s lounge singer, and missing the mark a little bit. But as Lachi sings, “I guarantee I’ve heard worse.” Poppy, but nothing amazing here. And you know the whole idea behind the song “Video Killed The Radio Star?” Yeah. Think on that.

Zobapago classifies themselves as children’s music. It’s pretty fun. If I had a kid i would probably subject them to far worse stuff. Like that Rockabye Baby series: Wussy acoustic/glockenspiel renditions of AC/DC. No, Zobapogo is way better… Oh shit, it just got annoying as fuck. Story-time, with narrator. Crap. But then again, hell, I feel like I’m learning something, I can always brush up on my counting and ABCs. I am also learning that the saxophone was created by THE DEVIL. Agh!

The Boxing Lesson is kinda making me feel good. Yeah, really good. A bit of Britpop meets dark psychedelia, like Cure, Failure, things like that. I like dark and moody music, and wait, they’re from Austin and going on tour? The Boxing Lesson, you are winning so far. Look these guys up as well, worth your time and patience.

AN ASIDE: Oh, I’m probably a terrible person and not deserving of my position as a music journalist for just glossing over all these hard working musicians with hopes and dreams and thousands upon thousands of hours clocked in to making their art… OH WELL. Continuing…

Carole Troll from NYC plays blues and jazz standards with a honeyed voice that has felt the pain for years and years. Oh man, that high note just sent a shiver. Good shit. Too bad blues has been sullied by too many white dudes with Hawaiian shirts and mustaches. And her last name is Troll? Stage name anyone? Oh shit, this cover of “Summertime” is terrible. Slap bass was also created by THE DEVIL. Otherwise Carole is legit.

Michael Stollaire…where to start. Okay, first off, Michael, that picture is terrible. Just terrible. You’re a goofy looking dude making a goofy looking face. Now the music, sounds like you really like Dire Straits, but Knoffler you are not. Nor are you Nightranger. This is some ’80s power rock, fist pumping ear punishment. I hate this. I really, really hate this. Terrible. The lyrics sound like the kind of shit you hear in the background of an afternoon teen drama television show….only audible and far more obnoxious. This makes me want to poop. It’s better than coffee and cigarettes, and probably worse for you. “This smells like trouble.” Indeed. You missed the cocaine LA Hair heyday bro! But pornos always needs soundtracks, so…. Wow dude.

BrothaRemixx…”All my lyrics are written by God and delivered by me.” I still want to shoot the messenger. Sorry man, that bio intro got off on the wrong foot. Actually, BrothaRemixx has got pretty good flow, and I like the juxtaposition of positive Love of God / brotherhood lyrics and total gangsta knockin’ beats. I bet the devil is pissed about this. This is on some angry Christian soldier shit. God’s into some fear tactics then? No doubt.

Mama’s Dirty Li’l Secret from Brooklyn. Damn, there are some screws that need to be tightened here. Apart from the recording not sounding all that hot, the drums sound like they’re about to fall apart. It’s on some punk rock meets hard rock, and, well, I’ve heard this style done a hundred times better. This bar rock needs a lot of work. These lyrics are weak, too. Meh. If I was like 10 beers deep, I might have other feelings. Right now, I just want this to be over.

Gumshen, from Seattle. Okay, warmed over grunge? Remember when Bush tried their best to rip off Nirvana and failed? This is like Gumshen ripping off Bush ripping off Nirvana, but without the painfully awkward lyrics. I mean, at least you can laugh at Bush’s lyrics. Gumshen’s doing nothing for me, they are existing in the void between decent and terrible. With a terrible band you can actively hate it (see Michael Stollaire), and that produces a little joy. But a band that is in the nether world just kinda sucks, like when the inside of your nostril itches and you know the minute you scratch it some hot girls will walk by and see you picking your nose. So you just suffer a little. But Gumshen’s recording actually sounds really good, so they at least have the tech side working for them. Lyric: “I’m a bastard and a loser deserving of all your hate.” You got it!

The Sandoval Band. Considering that I hate a good 99% of funk music, I must say that 30 seconds in I don’t hate the Sandoval Band. Perhaps it’s just because I feel bad for destroying my buddy Dain Sandoval’s Socially Pink song the other day, but for goodness sake, The Sandoval Band is currently residing in the exclusive roster of white-boy funk bands that don’t totally piss me off (John Scofield, Medeski Martin & Wood….I think that’s about it). And yes, I see that the Sandoval Band isn’t all white boys….they just kinda sound like it. Maybe it’s the whole Christian Wonderbread bent. Christian funk? If I were Jesus, I’d feel conflicted.

Evangenitals have the best name of the batch, easily. They have pictures in their myspace of Kyle Gass and Dio, so there’s a few bonus points right there. The music, a female-fronted pop-folk, meets hillbilly stomp - easygoing groove with lyrics that I would consider, well, kinda forgettable, but with potential. Their singer Juli, however, was a fledgling pro boxer before an injury forced her into a new career path, so for the record, I FUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT THIS BAND DON’T HIT ME.

The Wrap Up: So what have we learned? The Boxing Lesson from Austin is legit, Will Hanza is legit, the Evangenitals might kick my ass if I don’t say something nice, The Sandoval Band is decent, I would stay at Carole Troll’s bar lounge set until the bass player started slapping, and I couldn’t care less if the other bands were playing at a venue near me. Except Michael Stollaire - I’d see that shit in a hot fucking second.

Shitty bands: 0
Synthesis: win

Our German friends are going to scoff at this post, but people on the western shores of the Atlantic better take note. Today’s Band You’ve Never Heard of Band of the Day is Schnuffel, and much like beer, bratwurst and Hasselhoff, it’s HUGE in Germany. The hit single, “Snuggle Song” has been no. 1 on German single charts for six weeks in a row. Six. Check out a stream of the song here, but if you’re brave of heart, watch the video.

If you stare at it long enough, it starts telling you things. Things you don’t want to hear.

While we’re at it, we might as well honor another notable, European rabbit in the entertainment world.