The moustache: A symbol of virility. A warning sign that you are NOT to be fucked with. A great opening to chatting with random dudes at SXSW.

“Sweet ’stache, man.” Honestly, I make these kind of comments to random dudes when they have sweet facial hair, and it’s not out of some deep seated latent homosexuality (maybe), but out of honest appreciation of a well groomed and styled face-mane.

I’ve been working on my ’stache for a short time, only recently moving beyond moustache 101. But I still relish getting tips from Advanced Students of the hirsute arts. Following The Death Set’s Wednesday afternoon Emo’s performance I found myself outside and close to a dude with a sweet ’stache. “Dude, That’s A Sweet Moustache.” Instantly we were comrads in meaningful conversation. His name, of all things, was Mortimer, and Dude was rad. He gave me a few tips, which I am happy to impart upon you, dear readers.

Tip #1: Use Clubman

Mortimer’s moustache, black and full, was styled perfectly into curly tips with the aid of the fine wax from Clubman. I too use Clubman, but mine was not nearly as perfect as his, which lead me to even more sagacious advice:

Tip #2: Don’t Touch the Moustache. “As much as you can, avoid touching your moustache after you apply the wax. The oils in your fingers really mess it up.” He commented that I had a “nice work in progress,” but that I had obviously touched my moustache after styling it, hence rendering it unfurled and no longer totally sweet.

Today I took his advice, and for a minute I was, if not world class, at least notable for my curly Qs. However, soon the right side was a broom instead of a bale. Why? Drinks.

Tip #3: Never get your moustache wet. Never. Unless it’s from, uh, “intimate activities.” Sweet ’staches sometimes bring that, and that may be the best wax of all. But coffee and alcohol will ruin your styling if you’re not careful.

No go forth, children of rad facial pursuits, and learn from Mortimer’s wisdom. Start off slow, but if you feel ready for Advanced Studies, or just an impressive array of possibilities, consult Worldbeardchampionships.com.

Men as peacocks. BEHOLD!

Try as they might, no one at SXSW comes even close to this champion. Bring it.

Just when you thought it was “My”Space, The Man steps in and makes it Not YourSpace. “Danger Darling!” is Synthesis’ Artist of the Day, not out of pity from having her work censored on MySpace, but celebration of her newfound controversy. Hey, it’s good thing:

What could she have possibly painted that would have her work yanked from her MySpace page?

…an unfinished painting of meat. One of my most favorite things ever! Here’s what she has to say about being censored:

Where’s the beef?
Sooo…myspace totally just deleted a picture of my newest painting, because they said it was “violent” EVEN THOUGH a gabillion fucking people eat meat every day. They ALSO hunt. ALSO my freaking art album is FRIENDS ONLY, so no 14 year old is going to see it anyway. Meanwhile, said 14-year-old is probably busy beating up hookers on Grand Theft Auto. Yet, my ART is offensive. Riggght. They ALSO changed my myspace default from the painting I did after Klimt, because the woman’s breasts are showing.

COME. ON.

But this is good, because I am starting a series of paintings on meat, simply because of this- meat IS very controversial. Mad Cow disease, Animal rights, Antibiotics, etc ad nauseam. Most of us eat meat every day, but when confronted with it, it leaves us feeling cold, and disgusted.

And by the way myspace gestapo, you should be aware that if more children studied art, or put their time into developing actual skills instead of surfing porn on the net, or sitting their asses in front of video games, they might learn something.

God forbid ART offend them. Maybe they’d start THINKING FOR THEMSELVES.

PUT DOWN GUITAR HERO AND LEARN SOMETHING.

Tell it like it is, girl. Here’s her in action:
Bee painting

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Now I’m sure this is no Gray Album since this isn’t a DJ Danger Mouse project here but conceptually (and if done right) this could dominate (plus the artwork for it is actually kinda cool). The Biggie Hendrix Experience is DJ Doc Roc’s mashup of Jimi Hendrix and The Notorious B.I.G. - you can download it here. If it’s good leave a comment, if it sucks leave two.

A brewing comment battle on a previous post this morning got me thinking about longcat. Its been awhile since anything involving cats on the internet actually made me feel anything but disgust. But longcat is different. Longcat is long.

It all began with a cat that was long. His name was Nobiiru.

He soon became known as longcat because he was long. 10,000 ft long at least.

Soon though, the length of longcat became even longer.

And just when longcat had reached the level of old meme, someone took the time to hunt down shortcat. Who is short.

Proving to be truly metal, the late AC/DC frontman Bon Scott has been immortalized in bronze. A statue memorializing the singer was unveiled Sunday in his hometown of Fremantle, Western Australia, where Scott was born, raised and is now buried. Scott died of alcohol poisoning in 1980 at the age of 33.

[Photo courtesy of news.com.au]

Today’s artist of the day is here because of whokilledbambi.co.uk, an awesome art blog. Her name is Milk and she’s chillin’, what more can I say, Top Villain!

But seriously… check her out.