The reason is you can do pretty much whatever the hell you want. Like if you’re Robin Williams and you decide “fuck it, wifey’s getting old, and that artist I was introduced to at that party was making eyes. It’s ON.” Pretty sure that’s exactly how it happened. The celebrity-gossip blogosphere is BUZZING with the news that Funnyman Robin Williams has been boinking 27-year-old artist Charlotte Filbert. This was originally reported by the bastions of supermarket aisle integrity, The National Enquirer. No, I’m pretty sure they didn’t use the term “boinking.” That’s all mine. Trying to bring that one back. The pair were introduced by mutual friend Ally Hillfinger (erstwhile television personality and daughter of Tommy).

In the Feudal Age Kings could be - and indeed were SUPPOSED to be - dirty old men. In fact, for us mere mortal men, that’s like the one thing we have to look forward to once the pubes go gray: being a dirty old man. Infidelity aside, I can sympathize with poor Williams, 56 years old, famous and deciding he wants to fuck something that less resembles a baseball mitt (no offense to soon-to-be former Mrs. Williams, I’m speaking in general here).

Wait, never mind. Yeeeeeichh. Maybe 25 years ago… The couple had been separated for upwards of two years (as some reports claim), and divorce papers were filed on 3/21/08. Now the Williams will be working out the blood money…and this claim surfaces two weeks after the papers were filed? COINCIDENCE?

I guess that’s one thing that separates Feudal Royalty from Today’s Stars: You still gotta pay out the nose for your misdeeds. That and you don’t need to worry about getting scurvy.

So while I was pretty happy with one of last Monday’s blogs (‘Tis The Season. My Top 10 favorite Jesus Jokes. Happy Easter Monday), in that it was pretty offensive AND timely, I totally missed out on repping my boy Brad Neely (and by “my boy,” I don’t mean to imply that we’re actually friends with one another. I’m just friends with his work).

Brad’s done some cool things (including recording his own audio track to the first Harry Potter movie, and touring arthouse theatres with it), and while his awesome single-cell animations on Creasedcomics.com should be referenced weekly, if not daily, his true genius shines through in the animated world on Superdelux.com.
Here’s what i should have led with last Easter Monday: The story of JESUS (aka, “Jesus F**king Christ”)

Keep your eye out for A Life For Sale in Perth, Australia. It’s “a beautiful place to live,” and it’s all set up, waiting for you. Ebay has always been a bazaar of the bizarre (past things for sale: a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like the Virgin Mary, a pretzel shaped like Abraham Lincoln; once someone tried to sell a punch in the face…), but today the game was stacked even higher when recently-divorced Ian Usher put his entire life up for auction. In a grand sweeping gesture, the 44-year old Australian adventure enthusiast is selling everything, from his house and all his possessions, to his relationship with his friends and their pets (Usher’s closest friends have pledged to be nice to whoever wins the auction, which is set to begin June 22nd and end June 29th).

From his web site:

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don’t want it any more! You can have it if you like!

No, I’m not contemplating suicide, I am going to sell my life!! I have my reasons, for further details click the “Why” tab below. However, I am still not sure whether this is inspired madness, complete foolishness, or just some sort of mid-life crisis.

Whatever it is, it’s all going up for sale in one big auction. Everything I have and everything I am.

On the day it is all sold and settled I intend to walk out of my front door with my wallet in one pocket and my passport in the other, nothing else at all, and get on the train, with no idea where I am going or what the future holds for me.

Sadly, he still gets to retain control of his own destiny and central nervous system, which I was hoping he’d throw into the auction. That would make the $500,000 price tag he’s hoping for totally worth it.

I thought this post would somehow link in with Daniel’s post yesterday of a man who built a suicide machine and then used it to kill himself using plans he found on the internets. When I first heard of this I thought he was selling his life, which would have been ten times more awesome. I always found the plot to Hostel dangerously alluring. But he’s just selling his stuff… And in the immortal words of Ian Mackaye, “You Are Not What You Own.”

On Usher’s web site, http://www.alife4sale.com, you can find out all the details. Or just watch this:

This isn’t the first time someone has tried to sell their life on eBay. But maybe you should try renting before you own. If you don’t want Ian Usher’s life you can always RENT A GERMAN.

Who would ever sell a life to the highest bidder? Sounds like a easy way to start to industrialize agriculture in a new country though and destroy a few cultures and generations of lives in the process…

Zune Arts has just launched a new podcast series that can be downloaded for free exclusively through Zune Marketplace. The first video in the series is actually pretty neat as it features a behind the scenes look at the making of a video by Three Legged Legs. The video being made involves dancing zombie puppets created by artist Adam Parker Smith.

Three Legged Legs is a directorial studio founded in 2005 by Greg Gunn, Casey Hunt and Reza Rasoli. Here’s one of their short animation films, “Humans.”

Famous

“Gee shucks, there sure is a lot of fam-ous people here in Austin for south by southwest!!!”

I know, I know, if you are reading this and you live in certain parts of the US (i.e. New York and Los Angeles) you’re probably thinking “yeah, yeah, yeah…” but when you live out in the cuts in a glorified truck stop / state school, you don’t often get to see in person the people you see on television, in movies or on album covers. For us yokels it’s usually kind of a thrill. A cheap thrill, but a thrill nonetheless.

But certainly there exists a healthy contingent of people who are decidedly not impressed, and seeing celebrities up and close is no big deal. I feel kinda caught in the middle. Most famous people, I’ve found, are very nice and appreciative of your attention (as long as you don’t push it and remain kinda mellow. No kissing Mike Patton on the hand or anything…), but there’s always the chance that someone you admire is in a bad mood and is being a total dick to you, Mr. Lou “jerkfacepoopyhead” Reed. And that can honestly ruin your love of their art a little.

But still, for the people who look down on the starstruck and make fun of gawkers, they can right fuck off. There is nothing wrong with showing gratitude to someone for them making art that you have enjoyed, or has influenced and inpired your life. That’s called respect. For some of them, that’s what keeps them going.

For me, I still get a little bit excited when I run into someone I know, famous or not. But honestly, it’s better running into someone you do know, especially when it’s unexpected. Like when I ran into Seattle’s Iceage Cobra on the street corner. On Friday, following my Joseph Arthur interview, I stopped for one second to get my bearings and remember where I was supposed to be going, and whamo! I run into two totally rad dudes, who lead me to another rad dude. I’d rather run into a bunch of excellent friends than Elijah Wood, Michael Stipe (who is apparently gay SURPRISE SURPRISE WOW I NEVER SAW THAT COMING…fucking christ, duh…) or Lou Reed any day of the week. Cheers! Oi! Oi!

Right now we’re held up in a hotel room with a band, Anarbor, two models, a couple hair (Lauryn) and makeup (Shay) people, and one awesome photographer (Barry Underhill), drinking hella Lone Stars and basically making a mess of things (sorry, housekeeping). Look for the photos from the shoot soon in an upcoming issue of Synthesis Digital. Behind the scene photo by Video Matt.