That shit is too good. I wish they would outlaw it. I mean, it’s bad as fuck for you. All the other shit that’s hella good, but bad for you, is already against the law - crack, weed, drinking and driving, hookers. They might as well save me from Nacho Cheese too. And by they I mean people who give enough of a shit to spend time writing bullshit laws. Me, I’m too busy writing bullshit blogs. Doesn’t pay as well, but fuck it. They should outlaw blogs too. Actually I’m sure they will, someday. Hopefully they won’t put me in jail because I don’t think I’d last in jail very long. I’m a very fragile, fragile boy.

My friend OJ found a dead cat one time when he was tearing down some shed, so he took the carcass and kept it in a kiddie pool filled with bleach for probably like a year, or longer maybe.

The cat held up pretty well. Every once in awhile he would take it out and fuck with it, like smear it against the window when people were inside and shit just to fuck them up. I took some pictures of it one time, mainly because I liked the look on it’s face.

Victory Records has signed 1997. That’s all. I was going to say something funny, but it’s too early so instead read the press release and come up with your own humorous anecdote riffing off the fact that 1997 is possibly the lamest band name ever of all time, or if you’re one of those people (and you know who you are) you could probably do well with something along the lines of “1997, which is coincidentally the last time Victory put out a good record.” That might work:

Victory Records announces the signing of Chicago’s 1997, whose purpose as a band according to guitarist Caleb Pepp is simple: (We want to make music that my younger brothers and sisters would enjoy, and inspire other kids into listening to and making their own good music.â€? (We don’t want to be the next fad band,â€? bassist Allan Goffinski adds. (We want our music to last and stand the test of time.â€?

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Tom DeLonge has officially jumped the shark. In other news, Larry King should probably avoid ever trying to discuss rock music.

YouTube has officially jumped the shark. Next please…